Fabiana_Med

For months, we played at letting others watch her without her knowing. That night, with two friends on the sofa, I discovered she had controlled the game from the start.

It was nine on a Sunday morning, and I was the only person out on the street. That’s why I was the only one who saw her leave the shop almost naked, unaware that I was watching.

We’d been married twelve years, and I’d never seen her so fully in command of herself as that afternoon, standing in the water and letting strange men look at her.

I could have held it, but I didn’t want to. I got out, left the door ajar, and waited for the headlights to find me squatting by the road.

When I went back to the kitchen for the ice, my best friend was on her knees in front of one of the guys. And the others were right behind me.

She heated up half the group of foreigners from the pool, and when one of them stopped in front of my lounger I knew that summer wouldn’t be about restraint.

I dressed in my plainest clothes so I wouldn’t give anything away. What I didn’t count on was that I wouldn’t be alone in that apartment—and that I was still the same girl as before.

I ordered a soda because they wouldn’t let me drink, and that same night an entire group of strangers decided I was the center of their private party.

I went down to the water in the black bikini they’d chosen for me. Three men waited in the dim light, and I knew exactly why.

When she finally opened her eyes, she discovered that the four armchairs around the bed were no longer empty. And then she understood what he was playing at.

I dropped her two streets from the meeting point, and when she got into the car, she introduced herself as if I were just another passenger. None of us knew what was coming.

I thought I’d pay up with a kiss or a joke. Instead, my friend dared me to show up as an escort at his best friend’s bachelor party.

When I asked what really turned her on, she straddled me and began telling me about a night she’d never confessed to anyone.

At the café, they dared each other over laughs: each would pick a man that very afternoon. Neither imagined the bet would end in the same bed.

When the Marshal’s shot rang out, I knew it would be our last night. What I never imagined was what the party would become once the lights went out.

When the van pulled up behind me in the dead of night, I knew that night wasn’t going to end like any other. And to my surprise, I didn’t want it to.

When Renata opened the curtains and put me on all fours facing the glass, I knew that night I would belong to everyone passing in the street—not just to her and my husband.

I walked through the curtain convinced I was looking for a man. The hand that took mine in the darkness was soft, perfumed, and wouldn’t let go until everything changed.

We went up on the boat to fish and sunbathe. We came down as something else. What I saw at the bow still keeps me up at night.

I’d been fantasizing about dogging for years, but I never imagined she’d be the one to lead me to the far end of that industrial estate, with a surprise waiting in the hedges.