SirenaFogosa

We had fantasized about it in whispers for years. That afternoon in the cabin, my wife tied my wrists to the headboard and told me she had a surprise.

When my husband brought his friend home to live with us, I thought it would be an uncomfortable month. I never imagined he would push me toward what I was afraid to confess.

I’m 46, and I’ve never told anyone this. I entered a dead-end tire shop alone, accepted the first beer, and stopped thinking about going home.

She was alone on the grass, in the shade, with legs that made me forget the book. I had no idea how far we’d go before we said goodbye.

No one suspects the respectable woman I pretend to be by day. Only you know what I whisper when we’re alone again, glass in hand.

What we had was already over, but that summer night I discovered how far I was willing to go just to feel him inside me again.

It was six in the morning, I was still in my wedding dress, and my husband was snoring unconscious upstairs. The waiter hadn’t left yet, and I was no longer thinking about sleep.

I came out of the water shivering and saw her adjusting her bikini in the sun. Neither of us knew that morning would change everything between us.

I went back to school that afternoon under the excuse of studying in the library, but neither of us was going to open a single book. We were there for them.

The phone rang and it was him, offering me a session that same afternoon. From his tone, I knew we weren’t going to talk only about massages.

I waited for the doors to close. Diego was already kissing his girlfriend without a care, and her sister kept glancing at me, biting her lip, not knowing what to do with her hands.

I knew he’d wanted me for months, and I wasn’t going to stop until I had him in my bed. What I didn’t count on was who would catch us afterward.

I walked into the bathroom by mistake and found him under the water. Ever since, I return to that image every night I’m alone and can’t get it out of my head.

There are things I never said out loud. This is one of them: what my cousin planned with me that January, before I realized it was too late.