The Day I Discovered My Most Submissive Side

Several days had passed since that afternoon with Marina, and I still couldn’t think about anything else. We both had classes to attend, so there was no way to drop everything and roll around together as if the world were ending. She was studying nursing, still without hospital placements, shut away in classrooms learning what the first year called for. I was dragging my own subjects along with me and the exhaustion of not sleeping well.

But the memory wouldn’t let me go. I could still taste that afternoon in my mouth, her smell mixed with mine, the words with which she had branded me inside far more than with her hand. Every detail kept coming back to me with a clarity that almost hurt.

That morning, under the shower, I had a hard-on like few times before. I couldn’t help it. I closed my eyes and started touching myself, thinking about her images, her insults, the way she had spoken to me as if I were worth nothing and yet I had never felt so alive.

I finished against the tiles, gasping, semen stuck to the wall and my thighs trembling. My shower is a narrow corner, barely a meter by seventy centimeters, just enough to turn around in. I stood there looking at that mess as it dripped slowly, while little spasms still ran through me.

I went to get a piece of paper to clean it up, but I stopped. Something held my hand back. In my head her voice came back, clear, as if she were behind me.

—Lick it. Clean it with your tongue, slave —Marina said.

I didn’t think too much about it. I was too hot to reason. I brought my tongue to the wall and, against all logic, my cock hardened again at the very idea. I licked until the tiles were clean, tasting it, feeling humiliated and aroused in equal measure.

I couldn’t stop thinking about her, about her contempt, about the marks that still burned on my back. I had liked it. I had liked it so much that I only wanted to know when she would call me again. And the days went by without a single sign from her.

I dried off, rubbed some cream on the marks I still had, and went out into the street aimlessly, trying to clear my head.

***

That was when I walked past a place I had never really noticed. A discreet sex shop with the windows papered over. On the sign, there was something about booths and private corridors. I felt a curiosity that pushed me inside almost without my deciding it.

First I browsed the shelves, pretending to be interested in the products. I’d been sleeping badly for days, dreaming about Marina, about being dominated and humiliated by her, even dreaming that she fucked me with a harness and made me lick it afterward. Those dreams had left my body craving something I didn’t know how to name.

At the back there was a corridor of booths with screens. One side for those who gave orders, the other for those who served. Between the dividers, holes were set at the proper height. I saw someone kneel down, stick a hand through one of them, and a hard cock immediately appear on the other side.

I stayed on my side, not knowing what to do, just watching. Some girls passed by laughing, others knelt too and licked eagerly, turned on. There was some kind of ritual in the air, a surrender I understood perfectly because it was the same one Marina had awakened in me.

A cock appeared right at my partition. My stomach flipped. I was about to leave. But I remembered the way the girl before me had kissed the head with something like reverence, and something inside me gave way. I knelt down.

I kissed it slowly, as if my body had done it on its own, and a second later it was in my mouth. I must have done it well, because from the other side came the man’s gasps, getting more and more broken, until he came.

—Swallow it all. And if you want me to shoot it on your face, pull back at the end, slave —a deep voice ordered.

I hadn’t expected it, but I swallowed. He kept moving for a few more seconds before pulling away.

—Now pull back —he said.

I obeyed. I stuck my tongue out as he’d asked, and felt the heat on my face, on my lips, on my chin. My legs were shaking.

—You suck it well and swallow even better —the voice said, amused—. I hope you come back often.

—Clean it for me —he added.

I did. I ran my tongue along its entire length, still dazed, until I felt something different, a liquid warmth I hadn’t expected. He was pissing into my mouth.

—Drink and enjoy, slave —he said.

I drank. I don’t know where I found the courage, but I drank, feeling reduced to nothing and, at the same time, completely given over. When he pulled out, he shot it across my face and over my head.

—Bow your head —he ordered.

I bowed it. He soaked me completely, and a moan escaped my throat that I didn’t know if came from shame or pleasure.

—See you another day —he said, and I heard the zipper go up, satisfied.

***

I stayed there frozen, on my knees, my body wet and my mind blank. Then a girl from the next booth spoke to me.

—Congratulations. Is it your first time? —she asked.

—Yes —I answered, dying of embarrassment, with the remnants stuck to my skin—. It’s my first time.

—Do you know who that was? —she asked.

—No —I said, blushing.

—Relax. You’re not the first to come here and kneel —she said with a kind smile—. I come often. I like a good cock as much as anyone. Come on, let’s get out of here.

We left the area together. Just as we were crossing the curtain, the man on the other side appeared, I supposed looking to see the face of the person he’d just used. He was too late. The girl gently pushed me toward the exit.

—Be careful —she warned me once we were in the street—. Sometimes the ones in charge are assholes and they show up to see your face. They shouldn’t, but it happens.

—I understand —I said.

—My name’s Vanesa, by the way. Tell me your story. Something tells me you have one.

And I told it to her. I told her about Marina, my neighbor, about that afternoon, about what I’d done afterward in the shower. Vanesa listened with shining eyes, biting her lip.

—So, you have a mistress and at the same time you don’t —she said at last, looking at me with a kind of dirty interest she didn’t even bother to hide—. Fancy that.

She fell silent for a moment, sizing me up from head to toe.

—Look, I’m going to make you an offer —she said—. I’m horny, and something tells me you are too. It shows in your pants.

***

I accepted. The truth is I wouldn’t have dared refuse anyway: Vanesa had character and a way of looking that left no room for doubt. She took me to her place, a few streets away, and started undressing while ordering me to do the same.

When she saw my cock, she opened her eyes wide.

—I can’t believe it —she murmured, coming closer—. I’ve hit the jackpot.

She bit her lip, circling me slowly.

—I want you to fuck me hard. If I like it, I’ll let you lick my feet —she said—. And I’ll let you do all the filthy things that come into your head. I think you’re going to enjoy yourself.

We kissed. I moved down her neck, over her chest, bit her hard nipples while she moaned without holding back. I picked her up and slammed her against the wall, and I fucked her with all the desire built up over those days. Vanesa didn’t stop, chaining one orgasm to the next until she came so hard she soaked my thighs and stayed trembling, clinging to my neck.

—Turn around —she gasped, getting onto the bed on all fours—. From behind. No mercy.

I entered her slowly at first, then harder, as she asked. She came again and again, moaning into the sheets, until I came inside her with a long growl.

—You’re fucking amazing —she said, panting, with a crooked smile—. What a slave I’ve found.

***

She got up slowly, still catching her breath, and went to a little table beside the bed.

—You delivered —she said—. Now it’s my turn to pay you, slave.

She opened a drawer and took out a collar with its chain, some clamps, a riding crop. I felt a shiver that wasn’t fear, or not only fear.

—On your knees —she ordered—. I’m going to make you come like never before.

I knelt. She put the clamps on my nipples and the pain drew out a groan that immediately turned into something else. She took out a bucket with ice and ran a chunk over my cock until it shrank, and then she locked a chastity belt around me that left only what was necessary exposed.

At once I tried to get hard and couldn’t. The pressure of the device drove me crazy.

—Put your head and elbows on the floor and stick your ass out —she ordered.

I obeyed. I felt her fill me with an enema, a strange, invasive sensation.

—If you can hold it for twenty minutes, it’ll be cleaner for what comes next —she said, amused.

—Ah… it hurts so much —I murmured, clenching my teeth until I couldn’t take it anymore and ran to the bathroom.

We repeated it. The second time I held out less, but I was cleaned out. Then she came back with lube and started opening me with one finger, then two, then three. At first only an occasional groan of pain escaped me. But little by little the pain turned into something else, and I started moaning with a pleasure I had never known before.

—See how much you like this? —Vanesa said, delighted to be breaking me in.

I couldn’t stop the moans from coming out on their own. She kept going, patient, opening everything wider, until I felt that I could take much more than I had ever imagined. Her fingers went in and out faster and faster, and suddenly she touched something inside me that made me come without restraint, shuddering, collapsing onto the floor.

—I can see this is your first time here too, slave —she said, laughing, sitting down in a chair.

—Come here. Clean my feet —she ordered next.

I crawled to her and licked the soles with enthusiasm, tracing every toe, the space between them, tasting the sweat of someone who walks barefoot all day. Vanesa closed her eyes and enjoyed the massage until she pushed me away with her foot.

—Now the floor —she said.

—Yes, mistress —I replied, and cleaned it all with my tongue.

She handed me a glass so I could rinse my mouth and spit into the sink. Then she flushed the toilet and made me walk on all fours through the house like a dog, all the way to the armchair. She sat down, grabbed my hair, and buried my face between her legs.

—Clean me —she ordered, striking my back with the crop so I wouldn’t stop.

I licked her until she came again, while she moaned and marked my skin with every blow. In the end she soaked my mouth too, and I accepted it all, completely surrendered.

***

I was ecstatic, more aroused and more given over than I had ever been. We rested for a while, showered, and before I left, Vanesa gave me her number.

—For future encounters —she said, winking at me.

I went out into the street walking funny, sore all over and with a smile I couldn’t wipe off my face. I thought about everything that had happened that day, about Marina, about the stranger in the booth, about Vanesa. I couldn’t believe how completely my life had changed. And, for the first time in a long time, I didn’t want it to go back to the way it had been before.