My Best Friend Used Me as Bargaining Chip

Carolina wrote to me one Thursday afternoon, around seven. She had just broken up with Tomás, that engineer with the glasses I never liked, and she needed to go out and clear her head. Did I want to come get some drinks? I didn’t hesitate for a second.

I’d known Carolina since I was sixteen. For two decades we’d lived the same routine: me loving her in silence, her treating me like the brother she never had. We’d shared trips, moves, funerals, and at least three of her breakups, which I’d gotten through with ice cream and bad movies. Every time I thought that night would finally be the one, she’d slip sideways out of reach. And I, like an idiot, kept waiting.

We met at a place downtown, one of those spots with red lighting and worn leather booths. I looked at her legs when she got up from the stool to hug me, and I felt the same thing all over again: the craving, the freeze, the certainty that I’d never be able to do it.

We drank. We danced. I made her laugh with stories she already knew. By the fourth drink, she was leaning on me, laughing with her head thrown back, and I was telling myself that tonight I was finally going to try. I was going to go for it. Even if it went badly, even if it was the end of something, even if she didn’t speak to me for three months like that time on her birthday.

And then I noticed she was looking at me without looking at me.

Her eyes kept drifting over my shoulder. I turned my head a little to see what was behind me, and there they were: two guys leaning against the bar, young, both tall, looking like they were in their early twenties. Carolina and I were about thirty-three, and suddenly I felt every year on top of me like a sack. They were looking at her without trying to hide it, and she, pretending to talk to me, laughed a little louder and swayed her hip a little more slowly.

—Wait here —she said suddenly, and walked off.

From where I was, I watched them talk. I watched the taller one brush her elbow. I watched Carolina make that face she gets when something amuses her and tempts her at the same time. The music drowned everything out, so all I could do was look.

She came back dragging both of them with her.

—Look, this is Diego and Iván —she said, without stopping to explain anything else—. We’re meeting them at the door.

They shook my hand without much energy, like someone greeting a distant cousin. She was already pulling me by the arm toward the coat check.

—But what are you doing? Who are they? —I asked quietly, feeling my stomach knot.

—I’ll tell you later. Let’s go have the last one at my place.

I followed her out knowing perfectly well what was going to happen. I could see it coming the way you see a storm coming: the last drink at her place with two strangers was no last drink at all. I was the one who didn’t belong. The invisible friend who keeps the other guy talking while she fucks someone. Again.

***

In the taxi I sat in the front. They were in back, with Carolina in the middle. I kept the taxi driver talking about traffic, roadworks on the avenue, whatever stupid thing I could think of, and meanwhile I tried to catch what was happening in the back seat out of the corner of my eye. Whispering. Laughter. One of their hands on her thigh, inching her skirt higher every time the driver braked. The other hand, Iván’s, had slipped inside her neckline and was pinching a nipple over her bra. Carolina would brush their hands away with the look of a naughty girl, not really convinced, and every so often she’d let out a sharp laugh that broke off into a gasp. In the rearview mirror I saw Diego grab her wrist and bring it to his crotch, saw her feel over the denim the bulge that was already showing, and saw her bite her lip before pulling her hand away.

When we got there, she paid the taxi driver, opened the building door, and made us go up to the fourth floor. Her apartment was small, with white walls and an oversized sofa for the living room. Diego and Iván flopped down on it as if they’d lived there all their lives.

—Sit down, we’ll be right back —said Carolina—. Not you, come with me.

She took me by the arm and led me into her bedroom. She closed the door with her hip and yanked off her jacket. Then, fingers clumsy with haste, she began unbuttoning her shirt.

—Come on, hurry up.

I stood frozen in the middle of the room, watching her. I’d spent years imagining that scene, and now that it was happening, all I felt was confusion.

—What do you want? What’s going on, Carolina?

She laughed. A short laugh, almost nervous.

—Come on. I know perfectly well you’ve had a dick in your mouth before. This isn’t going to catch you off guard. We’re going to have a good time, all four of us. You’re going to suck those two guys off like your life depends on it, and I’m going to watch while they fuck me.

I didn’t answer. My mouth had gone dry. It was true. In college, during some weird phase, I’d been with a couple of guys. Not out of real attraction, more out of kink, out of curiosity. Carolina knew because I’d told her myself one dawn on a friend’s apartment terrace. I’d actually thought she’d forgotten.

Now she was using it as bargaining chip.

She pulled down her skirt. Let it fall to the floor, stepped out of it without looking where it landed, and came toward me in black panties and bra. She had the body I’d been vaguely picturing under her clothes for twenty years: slim, small shoulders, a mole exactly under her right collarbone. Her small, firm breasts showed through the lace of her bra; the thong cut into the slit of her cunt from the front and drew a dark wet patch in the center of the fabric.

She grabbed the collar of my shirt and kissed me.

It was a quick kiss, no time to process it. Her tongue came into my mouth with authority, not tenderness. She found mine, tangled with it, sucked my lower lip and bit it before letting go. While she kissed me, she was pulling my shirt off my shoulders and unfastening my belt. She slipped her hand into my briefs and grabbed my cock, already hard from the taxi, and squeezed it twice in her fist, up and down, without stopping kissing me.

—Look how hard you are —she whispered into my mouth—. What a little pig you are. It’s going to get worse when you put it between Iván’s teeth.

In a matter of seconds I was standing in her bedroom in my underwear, barefoot, her taste on my tongue and no idea what to say. She looked at the bulge, laughed, and gave it a soft slap over the fabric before pulling me toward the door.

She opened it and led me by the hand into the living room. I couldn’t stop looking at her ass, barely covered by a black thong, swaying down the hallway. Two pale half-moons showed where the tan didn’t reach her skin, and between them the thin black strip disappeared into her cunt.

When we entered the living room, Diego and Iván got up from the sofa. Each went for one of us as if they’d split up the loot in the taxi. Diego, the taller one, went straight for Carolina. Iván stopped in front of me.

He looked me up and down. Not with contempt. With something more complicated: a mix of hunger and smugness, like someone who’s been handed a dessert they didn’t order. He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed down. Not much. Just enough pressure for me to understand.

I knelt.

***

Iván unbuttoned his jeans in front of my face. He pulled his briefs down to his thighs and held his sex a hand’s breadth from my nose. He was half-hard, thick, with the head already peeking out and a clear drop sliding from the crown. I caught the smell of sweat and soap and something inside me shifted. I grabbed it with my right hand, squeezed the base to feel the weight of it, and put it in my mouth before I could think. I felt it growing between my tongue and my palate, felt the blood make it hard in a matter of seconds. Iván closed his eyes and let out a laugh through his nose, an incredulous laugh, as if to say, “Look at this guy.”

—Fuck, you suck so well —he said through clenched teeth—. Take it all, come on.

He grabbed the back of my neck with both hands and started fucking my mouth slowly, pushing my head to his rhythm. The tip hit the back of my throat and I tried not to choke, swallowing around the cock, breathing through my nose each time he let me pull back a centimeter. I ran my tongue under the head, over the thick vein that ran up the shaft, and felt him tighten all over when I sucked his balls with my mouth open, one first, then the other, while I kept jerking him slowly with my hand.

I closed my eyes too, but opened them every so often to look at Carolina. She was standing a meter from me, with Diego eating her mouth, and I could see her side and the line of her breast when he took off her bra. Diego crouched down, sucked one nipple, then the other, pulling with his teeth until she let out a surprised moan. He ripped her thong off in one jerk —I heard the dry sound of lace tearing— and threw her onto the sofa, knelt between her legs and opened her cunt with both thumbs before sticking in his tongue.

Carolina moaned. A long, sustained moan, her hair falling over the back of the sofa. Diego was eating her pussy hard, his mouth wide against her, sucking her clit with long laps I could hear from where I stood, and from her noises it was obvious he knew what he was doing. He slid two fingers into her and started moving them inside while he sucked her hood, and Carolina threw her hips up, grabbed his head and dug her nails into his hair. I kept Iván in my mouth, my free hand resting on his hip, feeling his fingers in my hair, watching out of the corner of my eye as she writhed on the sofa.

—Guys —Carolina said suddenly, lifting her face from Diego’s saliva-slick chin—. Why don’t you fuck us a little?

She didn’t wait for an answer. She turned over on the sofa, put her knees on the cushion and her forearms on the backrest. Ass up, at the perfect height for Diego, who was already taking a condom out of the pocket of the jeans lying on the floor. I watched him roll it onto his cock, watched him spit into his palm and spread it over the whole length, and watched him position himself behind her and slide the head of his cock up and down her cunt slit, looking for the entrance.

Iván popped my cock out of his mouth with a smack. He looked at me. Nodded. He lifted me by the elbow and took me to the sofa, a meter from Carolina, in the same position she was in. He yanked my briefs down. I felt his saliva drip between my buttocks, felt him spread it with his thumb, push a little to open me, and I knew what was coming next. I heard the crinkle of the condom wrapper, the snap of latex unrolling, more saliva falling onto my hole, and then the tip of his cock settling there, pushing, trying to give way.

All I cared about was being able to see Carolina. Beside me. At last. Her head thrown back, her breasts lifted when she arched her back, her mouth open and her eyes closed. I’d spent twenty years imagining that face.

She winked at me.

—Enjoy it, sweetheart.

Her face changed all at once when Diego entered her. She dropped her forehead onto the backrest and let out a long guttural moan while Diego’s cock sank to the base in her cunt in one thrust. Almost at the same time, Iván pushed from behind me and split me in two. I wanted to scream. It didn’t come out. I felt the pain first, a dry burn that ran up my spine, then the heat, then something like pleasure, all mixed together in the same broken breath.

Iván advanced slowly, centimeter by centimeter, until I felt his balls pressed against mine. When he was all the way in, he grabbed my hips and started moving at his rhythm, pulling almost all the way out and driving back in with a hard thrust that made my chest hit the backrest. Diego laughed every time he slapped me and every time another slap sounded against Carolina’s ass.

—Look at these two whores —said Diego, fucking Carolina with both hands on her waist—. How much you both love cock.

Iván joined in the slaps, smacking my thigh, laughing with his friend as if they were playing some game. He slid a hand underneath, grabbed my hard cock swinging with the rhythm of his thrusts, jerked it two or three times, and let go again. I clenched my teeth every time he bottomed out, feeling my body loosen up inside to make room for him, feeling the pain ease until it became a hot pulse that had my cock dripping onto the sofa.

They didn’t talk to each other. They didn’t need to.

I comforted myself by looking at Carolina. When I could, I let one hand slip from the backrest and brushed a breast, a nipple, a cheek. She let me. Her breasts bounced with every shove from Diego and I pinched her hard nipples, squeezed them between two fingers and tugged until she let out a sharper moan. Once she even bent down and kissed my knuckles without moving Diego from where he was. Her fingers searched for mine over the backrest and laced through them, squeezing them every time Diego rammed into her all the way.

—Like that, like that, harder —Carolina begged, looking at me as she said it to him—. Put it all in, asshole.

***

After a few minutes, Iván came out of me. I felt the emptiness all at once, a strange cold in the place he’d been filling. Diego stopped too, pulled his cock out of Carolina’s cunt and stood to one side, the condom shiny with fluid. Carolina turned her head, looked at both of them, and lifted her chin at them.

They were swapping us like trading cards.

Iván went straight for her, took off the used condom, put on a fresh one, and slid in behind her without preliminaries. He grabbed her mane of hair, wrapped it around his fist and pulled back while he penetrated her, tearing a new moan from her. When Diego stood behind me, I turned to look at him. I saw his cock and for a moment I understood her moans. It was considerably bigger than Iván’s, thicker, with an engorged, veined head. Diego realized the way I was looking at it.

—You like it, huh? —he said, laughing—. Wait till you’ve got it inside. Open wide, faggot, this won’t fit easy.

He put on a fresh condom, spit into his hand, slicked up his cock, and set the tip against my ass. He pushed. I clenched my teeth. My legs buckled for a second. I had to brace my forehead against the backrest, next to Carolina’s, so I wouldn’t fall. I felt him open me, force me, until my body gave and he shoved it in all the way with one pull that knocked all the air out of my lungs. I let out a long grunt against the leather of the sofa. Diego didn’t wait for me to get used to it: he started fucking me with both hands on my hips, pulling almost all the way out and driving back in to the balls with a tight, brutal rhythm that made my forehead hit the backrest with every thrust.

Iván was behind her now, trying to give her whatever pleasure he could after the previous pounding, but she already had her head somewhere else. She was feeling the thinner cock and missing the bigger one; you could see it in her eyes.

Carolina was looking at me. Looking at me while Diego fucked me without mercy. Smiling at me. She reached out, grabbed my cock hanging hard underneath me, and started jerking me at the same pace Diego was driving into me from behind. Every thrust shoved my cock into her closed fist, and every retreat slid it back out. My vision blurred.

—You’re such a dirty boy, sweetheart —she whispered—. Look how he’s putting it in you. You’re enjoying yourself like a pig.

I stretched out my free hand and pinched one of her nipples. Hard. Like a little revenge for everything that was happening, for twenty years of wanting her in silence, for the last drink turned into this. She let out a tiny cry and thanked me with another smile. She leaned in, put her tongue in my mouth without stopping jerking me, and bit my lip when Diego gave me a shove that made me moan against her lips.

—I’m coming —warned Diego suddenly, picking up the pace until his balls were slapping my ass with every thrust—. I’m coming, fuck.

Carolina reacted in a second. She jumped off the sofa, leaving Iván with his cock out, pushed him away from me with her hand, and knelt on the floor at the height of his hip. Diego pulled his cock out of my ass with a gasp, ripped off the condom, and shoved it into Carolina’s mouth, gripping her by the nape. He fucked her throat two, three times, and came with a hoarse growl. I saw her cheek bulge, saw her try to swallow and not have time, saw a thread of semen slip from the corner of her mouth to her chin. Then, with a gesture, she called Iván over. Iván came up stroking himself in a hurry, positioned himself in front of her, and unloaded on her face, two dry hits, one on the chin, another between her parted lips, and a third that landed on her chest, sliding between her breasts.

Carolina closed her mouth. She stayed like that for two seconds, face smeared with the two mixed loads, eyes closed as if savoring it. Then she stood up, came over to the sofa where I’d collapsed, and leaned over my face.

She kissed me.

She passed everything she had saved up to me on her tongue, slowly, without letting go of my neck, without letting me turn my face away. I felt the salty, thick taste filling my mouth, the viscous heat of two unknown men pouring from her tongue into mine. I swallowed because she left me no choice. She laughed against my lips, licked the remains from the corner of my mouth, and ran her thumb over my chin to catch a drop that was escaping. Diego and Iván were watching us standing up, their cocks half-softening, not quite sure what to do with their faces.

Carolina moved down my chest with her lips. She sucked my nipples, bit the skin of my stomach, ran her tongue over my hipbone. When she reached my sex, she took it into her mouth with the same desperation she’d kissed me with in the bedroom. She swallowed it whole to the throat, squeezing my balls with one hand, sinking one finger wet with her own saliva in from behind, touching the same inside spot Diego had just wrecked. I didn’t last. I couldn’t. I’d been holding out against the impossible all night and she let me go with three motions: one long suck to the base, one suck at the tip, another long suck to the base. I warned her with a muffled moan. She pulled her mouth away in time, brought her breasts close and let me cover them with everything I had inside, hot spurts that fell between her tits, on her hard nipples, in the hollow of her neck. She gathered a little on two fingers, licked them while looking at me, and smeared the rest over her nipples to coat them.

Diego let out a short laugh.

—You two are such sluts.

Carolina sat up. She looked at him with exactly the same contempt with which he’d looked at her at the bar. She pointed at their clothes with her chin.

—Grab your things and get out.

She said it without anger. Almost affectionately, as if thanking them for the time.

When they closed the door and we were alone, she sat down beside me on the sofa, still naked, still marked by the two of them on her face and chest. She rested her head on my shoulder.

—You’d been waiting twenty years for something with me —she said, without looking at me—. I wasn’t going to give you just any other night.

I didn’t answer. There was no need. I just stayed there, smelling her hair, feeling her breathe against my collarbone, and understanding that that night, in some twisted way, she had found a way to love me unlike any I’d imagined.

A way that resembled nothing.