Confessions

I went into the doctor's office because of abdominal pain. I left with a number saved in my phone and a question I'd avoided answering for years.

I'd gone a month without touching anyone when he appeared across the hall in sweatpants that left very little to the imagination. And I was in my boxer briefs.

I boarded the plane with my cock hard, as I had every day for as long as I could remember. I never imagined that priestess would change my life in a single night.

My mouth was full of him when I heard the door. Then she appeared, with that half-smile that always knew how to say everything to me without opening her mouth.

At three in the morning, with the icy wind battering the tent, I slid under his blanket without asking. Mauri didn’t move, but I knew he wasn’t asleep.

I’d been thinking about it for months. That night, in a hotel far from home, I opened the app and let the first man who appeared one meter away come up to my room.

I went down to the bathroom with my heels in my hand and still not understanding what it would feel like to spend an entire day going out as Luna on Bruno’s arm in that town.

We’d watched weird videos on his computer at the office that time. What I didn’t expect was that months later, that same curiosity would end up on the couch, under the blanket.

When I lent Bruno the red brief that morning, I had no idea my neighbor would come looking for us and that the path to the river would end in something none of us had ever done before.

We sat facing each other with a martini each. One rule: see, talk to, smell each other. Touching was forbidden. And she had an ice cube in her hand.

I took the elevator in heels and a wig, praying I wouldn’t run into anyone. He opened the door in a robe and called me a slut before I even said hello.

I looked at myself in the mirror wearing her lingerie, heels, and painted lips, and knew I couldn’t stay home. It was two in the morning.

I thought it was just curiosity. Until I saw his photo, felt my pulse race, and understood I’d spent three years avoiding what my body had already decided.

Looking for sex online had always gone well—until that Friday afternoon in room 207, when I learned you never know with strangers.

We’d rejected three couples. When we finally found the perfect one, they gave us a condition we never expected, not even in our wildest dreams.

When I came out of the bathroom in heels, stockings, and a red baby doll, his face said it all: I was no longer his best friend’s “daughter,” I was something else.

I got to the motel fifteen minutes early with sweaty hands. When I saw him cross the parking lot, I knew I wouldn’t leave that room the same man I’d been before.

That Saturday my aunt left in a hurry. Her lover was still asleep in the room. What I did in silence changed everything I thought I knew about myself.

Three months trading messages with a married stranger, until that afternoon at the mall when we knew we could no longer keep it online.

He put velvet handcuffs on my wrists and the blindfold over my eyes. He told me to trust him, that I was going to like it. I didn’t know how to say yes.