The Lagoon That Transformed Me Into Who I Always Was

I looked up and stared through the office window. Another gray day, just like my whole life, just like that longing for something more that never quite arrived. I was trapped in a body that wouldn’t let me love the way I wanted to, repressed, frustrated, with not much desire left to go on.

I heard a couple of knocks at the door and watched my other frustration walk in. Bruno, my business partner, my friend since school. Together we had founded a technology company and handled a big share of the country’s networks. I was prosperous financially and a disaster emotionally. He, on the other hand, was doing wonderfully: money, women, that easy way he had of laughing at everything. The second part ate at me with jealousy, because I wanted to be one of those women. Pretty, flirtatious, in his arms.

Am I sick, a pervert? I didn’t know. Nor was I going to have the chance to find out. I was sick of everything, I felt I was reaching a point of no return. I loved him, I had always loved him, but that didn’t matter. The only proof of my love would be to leave him everything that was mine: my shares, the company. I had already made the will. The decision was made.

He invited me out for a drink and I accepted. We toasted, laughed, talked, and the moment flowed as always. I adored his smile, his jokes, the way he leaned over the table when he told a story. And as always, I had to repress the urge to want more: to kiss his lips, to caress him, to be all his.

When one of those girls he liked showed up, I said it was late and left. Not to leave the field open for him, but because jealousy was burning me up inside.

***

I opened the car door and took off toward wherever the road would take me. That night was the night. Darkness accompanied me and made my loneliness even more palpable. I sped toward a cliff I knew, hoping to die on impact. To be honest, I was terrified of the pain, but I didn’t want to change my mind. I felt the blow, the car rolling, the glass, the blood. Then, nothing.

I woke up with my body shattered. I hadn’t died. I wasn’t even good enough for that. I managed to get out of the car with great difficulty and walked between the trees, filthy with mud and blood, until I found a small lagoon hidden in the forest. The water was freezing but comforting. The moon was reflected whole on the surface. How I’d like to be like it: beautiful, bright, someone everyone adores. No, really, all I needed was for Bruno to adore me.

I got out of the water and went to pick up my clothes. Then I noticed it. It wasn’t there. My member wasn’t there. I felt two breasts where there had been nothing before. I took out my phone, which miraculously was still working, and turned on the camera. I saw her: a naked woman, beautiful. That woman was me.

It seemed too real to be a delusion. I thought maybe it was my own longing distorting reality, a hallucination from the impact. I took a photo to look at later, so I wouldn’t believe it had been a dream. I sat on the shore, waited, touched myself, explored myself, and with every minute I was happier without understanding what had happened.

The only thing that had been different was the accident and the lagoon. I decided to clear up my doubts. I positioned the phone, pointing at the place where I would go in, left it recording, and submerged myself for a few seconds. When I checked the video, I confirmed it: when I came out, I had my male body again. That was the key. The lagoon. I had found a treasure, my salvation, the moon’s gift.

***

I was going to take that gift. I recorded a voice message for Bruno so he would recognize my voice. Alexia, my invented cousin, would take Adrián’s place.

—Hi, Bruno… —I began nervously—. I’m sending this to say goodbye. I need to disconnect from the world, go to the village where my parents were born to take care of an aunt who got sick. It’s a place with no signal. I’m asking you a favor: look after my cousin Alexia. She’s going to take my position at the company. She’s from the countryside, but she’s smart; I taught her everything I know and she’ll adapt quickly. I’m leaving you my phone so I can talk when I get reception. Take care of her as if she were me. Thank you.

I finished the note, got back into the water, went under, and came out again. Beautiful, like the moon’s gift. I put on my clothes, which now hung loose on me, went out to the road, and stopped a couple. I told them I’d had an accident; they insisted on taking me to the hospital, but I asked them to drop me in the city. After their insistence, they ended up leaving me at the door of my own house.

I ran inside, took a shower, and put on one of my own robes that hung off my body. I’d have to put together an entire wardrobe for my new self. I opened a shopping app and ordered clothes, jewelry, makeup. I didn’t know how to use any of it, but I would learn. When everything arrived, I tried on a pink pajama set with little bears and smiled at myself in the mirror. I never thought something like that would suit me so well, so delicately.

I kept taking things out, took off the pajamas, and was left in my underwear when I heard a voice behind me.

—Adrián?

It was Bruno. He stared fixedly at me and I stared at him, not knowing what to do. The shopping bags, the women’s clothes, my bare breasts, only one garment on top. I screamed, like a girl would scream, and ran to lock myself in the bedroom.

—I’m sorry, really —he said from the other side of the door—. I thought Adrián was playing a joke on me and came to surprise him. The surprised one was me. I suppose you’re Alexia. Still, I’d like to talk to him. I don’t understand why he left like that, without saying goodbye like a normal person.

—Adrián’s already gone —I answered—. I don’t know much about it. I only know he wanted to go back to the village and left me taking his place. Think of it as a replacement.

—Adrián is… is irreplaceable. —His tone melted my heart, even though I knew it was friendship—. I’d like to meet you, even if only for a moment.

—I don’t think I can. My clothes are outside, in the living room. Bruno, please, use your head.

There was silence, and then his voice again.

—I’ll leave the house. I’ll be waiting outside until you’re ready for me.

Ready for me? That phrase made me shiver. I heard his footsteps recede and the door close. I picked up the clothes, put on one of the new pajamas, a pale pink one, and let him in.

He looked at me with an intensity that made me nervous. He came dangerously close.

—You really are Adrián’s cousin —he blurted with a half smile—. He tells me exactly the same thing when he loses his patience. If you weren’t a woman, I’d swear you’re the same person.

His gaze seemed to strip me naked. No, he couldn’t know my secret. Anyone but him.

—We’re family. It’s logical that we’d look alike —I said, pretending to be calm.

—Well. My apologies again. See you at the company, partner —he replied in a strange tone that left me on edge.

***

The next day I was on time. I went into my office, made myself a coffee as usual, in a formal look and athletic sneakers. I still didn’t know how to walk in heels; I had fallen trying. And makeup made my face look like a clown’s. Things to practice.

I felt breathing behind my ear.

—Adrián…ia. Hi —said Bruno, drawing out the syllables with a mocking smile.

Is he flirting with me? It was strange. I liked it and it annoyed me at the same time. Having a woman’s body to catch his attention was depressing.

—You’re too close —I told him.

—You’re too beautiful —he answered, and I felt helpless.

I ignored him and kept working through the paperwork. He circled my desk.

—Adrián taught you everything. You do it so perfectly it’s as if he were doing it himself.

—I’m efficient. And we’re family. I don’t see what’s new. Better go work on the new project and let me work.

—Wow. You know about the new project. Curious, because Adrián and I weren’t planning on telling anyone until it was ready.

—I’m replacing him. That’s why he told me everything —I answered in a thin voice.

—Makes sense —he said, and walked out with that smile that was starting to get on my nerves.

Night arrived in a blur of pending tasks. I didn’t have a car. Bruno offered to drive me and, after insisting, I accepted. When we got home he got out, walked me to the door and, when I thanked him, he simply pushed it open and came inside.

—Bruno, I want to rest. I appreciate it, but now go. I’m losing my patience —I said, genuinely annoyed.

He smiled.

—Adrián, Adrián, Adrián… —he repeated, looking straight at me—. I know it’s you. Tell me, what trick did you use to get this body?

I blushed. I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out.

—How…?

—The scar on your lower back —he said—. The one you got when you almost fell backward on my farm, onto the cattle-branding iron. A circle with my initial and a moon tip because of a factory defect. My brand. I saw it on Alexia. I thought it was a coincidence. Then you treated me with your same old words and I knew. It’s you, but in her.

There was no point in denying it anymore. I fell silent.

—And why are you doing this, then? —I asked.

—Because you slipped away from me as a man for years —he said, coming closer—. As a woman, you’re not going to get away.

***

He grabbed me by the waist and threw me over his shoulder. I screamed for him to let me go, but he carried me to the bedroom and dropped me onto the bed. He started taking off his shirt with an ever-widening smile, while I looked at him, bewildered, at his mercy.

—What are you planning to do? —I said.

—What do you think?

He pounced on me and kissed my neck. I weakly said this wasn’t right, that he should stop, but my body said otherwise and my eyes even more so. He kissed my lips with an intensity I had been waiting years for. As Adrián, I would never have managed it: our strength was equal. As Alexia, there was no way to resist him, and deep down I didn’t want to.

—Tell me —he whispered, sliding his hands down my legs—. Am I going to be the first to break in this body?

—You’re a complete asshole —I said, half annoyed, half breathless.

—Yeah. But this asshole is going to make you truly his. As Adrián or as Alexia, from now on you’re mine.

He tore my clothes off until I was naked. My first time in this body, and also my first time in my whole life, was going to be his. I could feel myself wet, a new, unfamiliar sensation. Every caress weakened me more, left me more at his mercy, hotter, wanting more.

He ran his tongue over my nipples while his fingers played with my entrance, alternating kisses between my mouth, my neck, my chest. I let him do it. I gave in to his will, because deep down it was also mine. I watched him pull down his pants. He positioned himself and started rubbing his cock slowly against my entrance, not going in, torturing me. I writhed on the bed, wanting more, and the idiot still didn’t move forward.

—Ask me for it —he said—. Ask me to make you mine. You can have tits or not have tits, I don’t care. I only want you to ask for it, as yourself, as Adrián, without hiding behind a mask.

Those words filled me with something different. Knowing he didn’t want me for a woman’s body, but for being me, made something inside me stop holding back.

—Make me yours… I want to be yours, Bruno —I said.

He smiled and I felt him enter slowly. The sensation was delicious. I didn’t want anything more than to have him inside me. He moved slowly at first, then hard, without pausing, and I moaned without being able to stop myself.

—That’s how I like it —he whispered in my ear, burying his hand in my hair—. Let’s finish together, Adrián. Mine alone.

That was the trigger. I felt him come inside me while I finished with him, my whole body vibrating like it was being run through with a current. He collapsed on top of me, breathing raggedly, and I did too.

***

Afterward he asked me to turn over.

—Get on all fours. I took you as a woman, now I’m going to take you as a man.

I was startled, but I obeyed, because surrendering completely turned me on. He licked me, lubed me up, and in that position he began to come in carefully.

—Breathe. It’ll hurt at first, but it’ll ease little by little —he said.

I nodded. He started to enter and it hurt terribly, so much that I was about to ask him to stop. He held my hip with one hand, covered my mouth with the other, and thrust in all at once. The pain was unbearable, tears fell from my eyes and my screams were muffled. He stayed still for a few minutes, letting my body get used to it, until, very slowly, it began to give way.

—I want to enjoy this slowly —he murmured, stroking my ass, alternating with the occasional smack—. I’ve wanted it for years.

He started moving harder.

—This mark on your skin, with my initial, is mine —he said—. Since we were young, you’ve belonged to me. It’s just that neither of us had said it.

That revelation made me tremble. Could he feel the same way I did? But his thrusts pulled me out of the thought. I felt completely invaded and, at the same time, fulfilled. I came again at the exact moment I felt him finish. We collapsed onto the bed and he, without pulling out, wrapped one arm around me while his other hand moved over my chest and down between my legs, taking me to the edge once more.

***

While we rested I told him the whole truth: what I felt for him, the will, the cliff, the lagoon. He understood everything. He said he wanted to go to the lake, that he wanted to make me his even as Adrián. We got ready and went. I recognized the path, we saw my car wrecked against the trees, and I stepped into the water. He watched my transformation from woman to man. Then he got in, but in his case nothing changed. We undressed and he started taking me again, and it hurt just like the first time.

—Say it, Adrián. Ask me for it.

—Bruno… make me yours. You’re the first, as a man or as a woman —I said, far too aroused.

He took me hard, without hesitation, while his other hand jerked me off. In the middle of my orgasm I felt something strange: I got shorter, with less strength.

—Interesting —said Bruno—. Look at you. You’re a woman again. It seems you turn into whoever you are while I’m inside you.

He turned me over, lifted me, and penetrated me in my other version, and that’s how we did it several times, in both bodies, until we lost count. His pleasure was my pleasure, and I let him have it.

We went back home, but he was insatiable. And he was right: I could be Adrián or Alexia at will. That became our secret, only ours. At work I was Adrián; at home, whatever I wanted to be. Bruno didn’t care as long as I was his. Several years have passed since that night. We live together, he never left, and for the first time I can say I feel complete. Prosperous and, above all, happy.