The Secret I’ve Kept Since the New Doctor Arrived

I’m sitting down to write again because this is weighing too heavily on me and I have no one to tell. I’m not proud of what I’m about to confess, but I’ve been carrying this secret in my chest for months and I need to get it out somehow, even if it’s like this, in silence, with no one on the other side to judge me.

My name is Marina. I’ll start by describing myself a little so you can understand. I’m the mother of two little whirlwinds, blonde, not very tall, and I’m one of those women they now call curvy: big breasts, wide hips. Until a few months ago, I thought I was happy, that fucking once a week was normal after more than ten years of marriage. I believed that was all there was, and I’d grown used to believing it.

I started working at the clinic as soon as I finished my degree. I did my internship there and stayed on. For a long time, everything was routine: my patients, my coworkers, and then back home to my family. An orderly, predictable, comfortable life. I didn’t complain. I didn’t ask myself whether I wanted anything else, either.

Everything changed last summer. One of the doctors had an accident and took several months off, so management decided to hire someone to cover the position. On the day he arrived, he gathered us all together to introduce himself. His name was Andrés. He was tall, dark-haired, Colombian, with a calm voice that seemed made to reassure patients.

The first few days were completely normal. In the locker room, though, my coworkers talked about nothing else. How hot he was, how one of them wouldn’t mind sucking his cock right there, that smile of his. I laughed along with them, but inside I didn’t attach much importance to it. He was handsome, yes. So what? I had my Rubén at home.

At the end of an exhausting shift, I ran into Andrés at the door.

—Hi, Marina. It’s finally over —he said, stretching.

—Yeah, honestly. I can’t wait to get home.

—Want me to drop you somewhere? My car’s right here.

—No, thanks. The bus stop is right across the street.

—Okay. See you tomorrow. Get some rest.

—You too, Andrés.

And that was it. An inconsequential elevator conversation. Or so I thought.

***

On one of my days off, I took advantage of the children being at school and went grocery shopping in peace, without anyone asking me for treats in the supermarket aisles. I was choosing fruit when a familiar voice called my name.

—Well, well, what’s one of my nurses doing in my neighborhood?

—Andrés! You’re here? What do you mean, your neighborhood?

—Of course. I live just behind here.

—So we’re almost neighbors. I live right behind the park.

—Almost, almost. What a pleasant surprise, neighbor.

From that day on, instead of simply saying good morning as we did with everyone else, we greeted each other with a “good morning, neighbor,” which became our own little private joke. And, of course, my coworkers noticed right away.

—Look at the blonde, she’s already got the doctor flirting with her —Lucía threw at me one day in the locker room.

—What are you talking about? We really do live in the same neighborhood, that’s all.

—Yeah, sure. And what about the way he looks at you when he’s in the ward?

—How could he possibly notice me? Besides, I already have my Rubén.

—Your Rubén isn’t the same as the hunky doctor —she laughed.

—Stop it, stop it. Don’t get me into trouble. How could he notice a chubby girl like me?

—Maybe he likes big-breasted women —Noelia commented, laughing her head off—. With tits like yours, I bet he gets hard just looking at you.

Between one joke and another, without meaning to, I started paying attention to Andrés every time he entered our ward. And then I realized something I’d preferred to ignore until that moment: he couldn’t keep his eyes off me, either. His gaze locked onto my cleavage every time I bent over, and I could feel my nipples hardening beneath my uniform, unable to stop it.

***

Another day, we ran into each other again at the end of our shift.

—Hello, my beautiful neighbor. Finished already?

—Yeah, that’s it. Home now—what a day.

—I’ll insist, then. Shall I give you a ride?

I was genuinely tired and, this time, I wasn’t going to say no. During the drive, we talked about a thousand things. He told me he was single, that he’d been practicing medicine in Spain for ten years, that he’d bounced from one city to another and that was why he’d never been able to form a serious relationship. He dropped me at my door and said goodbye with a soft kiss on the cheek, very close to the corner of my lips, which left my pussy throbbing in a way I hadn’t felt for a long time.

From then on, it became customary for us to go to and from work together. I kept telling myself nothing was going to happen, that I was married, that it was only neighborly kindness. Nothing’s going to happen, I told myself. Or, well, that’s what I thought.

My relationship with Rubén had grown colder over time. He was a hospital orderly with impossible shifts, and the monotony of our relationship had begun to take its toll, especially in bed. When we finally fucked, it was always the same: two minutes in missionary, he came, turned over, and went to sleep. I was left with my hand between my legs, finishing myself off alone and silently so I wouldn’t wake him. I heard my coworkers talking about their weekends, about the orgasms their partners gave them, and I hadn’t even remembered what it felt like to have a real orgasm for more than two months—one I didn’t have to give myself with my fingers. I laughed with them, but inside I wondered when my life had become so gray.

***

One of those afternoons when Andrés was driving me home, he asked if we could stop at a shop first to pick up some things he’d ordered from his country.

—Sure, no problem —I said.

We arrived, and he came back with three fairly bulky boxes, which he put in the trunk.

—Wow, you ordered a lot of things.

—It’s my mother. She doesn’t want me to go without anything from back home. She sends me little things from Colombia every so often.

—I see —I smiled.

—Well, I’ll take you home, neighbor.

—No, come on. I’ll help you carry the boxes upstairs and then I’ll leave.

—No, Marina, I don’t want to take advantage of you.

—You’re not taking advantage of me. It’s the least I can do, considering how much you save me on the trip every day.

—Okay. Thank you very much, sweetheart.

We carried the boxes up to his apartment. It was very nicely decorated, with the somewhat cold neatness of a bachelor’s home: technology everywhere, pictures with sports motifs, not a single family photograph.

—Neighbor, how about a little wine for your efforts? —he offered.

—I’m not going to say no.

He poured me a glass of white wine and got one for himself. Leaning against the kitchen counter, we began reminiscing about the antics of one of the clinic’s funniest patients, the man who always had a quip for every nurse. Between laughter and wisecracks, our bodies gradually moved closer without either of us really noticing.

Then we fell silent, looking into each other’s eyes. Andrés kissed me on the mouth. It was a slow, hungry kiss, with tongues, and I returned it, opening my lips without thinking. I tasted the wine on his tongue and felt his hand slip beneath my blouse, searching for my skin.

I didn’t resist in the slightest. On the contrary. It had been so long since I’d felt desired, cherished, looked at that way, that I surrendered to the kiss as though I’d been waiting months for it. He pressed me against the counter, and I felt the unmistakable hard bulge of his cock against my belly. A moan escaped inside his mouth. His hands moved down my back, and when they grabbed my ass and squeezed it hard, rubbing me against his erection, an image of my children flashed through my mind like a lash. I pulled away abruptly.

—I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I have to go.

And I practically ran out of his apartment, my heart pounding, my panties soaked, guilt close on my heels.

***

When I got home, fortunately, the children were with my mother and Rubén wouldn’t be back for a while. I wouldn’t have known what to tell them to explain why I’d arrived so agitated. At dinner that night, I could barely look my husband in the face. I felt I was betraying him, even though I told myself that nothing serious had happened.

—Honey, what’s wrong? You seem strange —Rubén said.

—Nothing, sweetheart. It’s just been a day I’d rather forget.

—I can imagine. Some patient got worse, right?

—Yes, yes, that was it —I lied, feeling even worse.

—Yeah, honey. But you know what our work is like. Even if we never get used to it.

—I know, babe. I don’t feel like talking.

—Okay. I’ll shower and we’ll go to bed.

That night, and the nights that followed, I didn’t even go near him. I gave him a thousand excuses not to fuck. At work, I tried not to be alone with Andrés; I avoided him at all costs. And yet I was a walking contradiction, because every night I ended up messaging him until late. I can’t explain it. I knew it was wrong, but I needed those conversations. I loved the way he referred to me, how his words made me feel desired again, alive again. One night, locked in the bathroom with my phone, I ended up sliding two fingers into my pussy while reading what he wrote to me, imagining his cock inside me, and came with my hand over my mouth so Rubén wouldn’t hear me from the bed.

***

I ran into him again while grocery shopping on another of my days off. After a brief chat, we ended up having coffee. I wasn’t in a hurry: the children were at camp and wouldn’t be back for a couple of days, and Rubén was working a double shift, so he wouldn’t arrive until well into the night. Fate, or whatever it was, seemed determined to leave me without excuses.

At the café, he kept telling me how beautiful I was while holding my hand across the table. Beneath the tablecloth, his knee brushed mine, and I squeezed my thighs together, feeling my panties soaking through again. I knew perfectly well where all this was heading. And, for once, I decided not to stop it. When he invited me upstairs to his apartment, I followed him as if in a trance, my pulse racing and my stomach tied in knots.

As soon as he closed the door, he pulled me toward him and began kissing me with a different urgency than the first time, as if he knew I wasn’t going to escape today. He pressed me against the wall of the entryway and slid one leg between my thighs. Unable to help myself, I began rubbing against it while he bit my neck.

—I’ve been imagining this for weeks, Marina —he whispered in my ear—. I’ve had a hard-on since I saw you walk through the door.

He took my hand and guided it to his fly. I closed my fingers around his bulge and squeezed him through his pants. He was rock-hard. A gasp escaped me.

—Andrés, fuck...

—To the sofa. Let’s go to the sofa.

I’m not quite sure how, but I ended up on the living-room sofa with the top half of my clothes on the floor. He yanked open my bra, and my tits spilled onto his face. A growl escaped him when he saw them.

—What a sight, fuck. What tits you have.

Andrés positioned himself over me, his face buried between my breasts. He kissed them, bit them, sucked my nipples one after the other, tugging on them with his teeth until they were red and rock-hard. He caressed me with an urgency that drew sighs from me I didn’t remember ever making. He went down, licking along my belly, undid my pants, and yanked them down along with my soaked panties.

—Look at you, sweetheart. All wet for me.

He spread my legs and buried his face between my thighs. When his tongue touched my clitoris, I arched my back off the sofa. Rubén hadn’t eaten my pussy in years, and now this man did it as if he were starving, sucking my lips, licking me from top to bottom, pushing his tongue deep inside me. He slid two fingers into me and began moving them in circles while continuing to lick my clitoris. I grabbed his head with both hands and pressed him against me shamelessly.

—Yes, yes, right there, don’t stop, please don’t stop...

I came in his mouth a few minutes later, trembling all over, my legs closed around his head. He didn’t pull away until I stopped convulsing, licking up every drop. When he lifted his face, his chin was shining with my juices, and the satisfied, masculine smile on his face turned me on all over again instantly.

I moved away for a moment to undo his pants. I freed him, and a gasp escaped me when I saw it emerge. It was huge, thick, with a swollen purple head and a bead of pre-cum at the tip. I began stroking it slowly, never taking my eyes off him. There was such raw desire in his gaze that it aroused me even more. I could feel it throbbing in my fist, and when I got an idea of its size, my mouth went dry: it was bigger and thicker than my husband’s; there was no comparison.

I started with small kisses on the tip, gathering the drop that had appeared with my tongue. I ran the length of it from top to bottom with slow licks, feeling him shudder. Then I took it into my mouth and went down until it reached the back of my throat, so far that I gagged and my eyes filled with tears. I didn’t give up. I pulled back, took a breath, and sank onto it again. I kept going, setting a rhythm, while caressing his testicles with one hand and squeezing the base of his cock with the other. I sucked him eagerly, hungrily, making filthy noises I didn’t recognize as my own, letting saliva run down my chin.

—Fuck, Marina, you suck like a goddess. That’s it, sweetheart, that’s it...

He held my head gently, and his breathing quickened with every movement. When I felt him getting too hard, I pulled him from my mouth with a wet pop.

I took off my panties, which were already soaked from how badly I wanted him, and straddled him. I gripped his cock and rubbed it over my wet lips, placing it between my folds without actually taking it inside, torturing both of us. Andrés squeezed my tits and panted.

—Put it in me, fuck, please.

I eased it inside little by little, feeling it push its way into me inch by inch. The sensation took my breath away. It filled me in a way I’d never felt before, stretching me, touching places I hadn’t even known existed. When I had taken all of it inside, I stayed still for a moment, mouth open, trying to take it in.

—Oh my God, you’re so big...

—And all for you, sweetheart. Ride me.

I began moving up and down slowly, then faster and faster, while Andrés kissed me desperately and his hands clung to my hips, driving me down onto him. My tits bounced against his face, and he took the opportunity to suck my nipples whenever I lowered myself. Our moans filled the living room. Every thrust of his hips against my ass drew a cry from me.

—Wait, love. Come on, let’s get more comfortable —he whispered.

He took me to his bedroom with his cock still hard, dripping with my juices, and laid me on the bed on my back. He pressed my legs against his chest, folding me almost in half, and began penetrating me with slow, deep thrusts that made me see stars. Then he sped up until he made me scream uncontrollably, no longer remembering where I was.

—What a delicious pussy you have, fuck. So tight, so hot...

—Harder, Andrés, harder, don’t stop...

He fucked me with all his strength, slamming his balls against my ass with every thrust. I clutched the sheets and begged him not to stop. When he felt I was about to come again, he pulled his cock out abruptly and turned me over, putting me on all fours at the edge of the bed.

That was when I noticed there was a large mirror on the wall directly opposite us, and that I could see everything. I saw myself with my hair tousled, my nipples rock-hard, my makeup smeared, my mouth open as I panted like a bitch in heat. And behind me, him, that brutal cock in his hand, aimed at the entrance to my pussy.

His hands closed around my waist, and he drove into me in a single thrust all the way to the hilt, drawing a moan from me halfway between pleasure and pain. He began fucking me hard, almost violently, gripping my waist to slam me against his cock. The pounding of his hips against my ass made a wet, obscene sound that filled the room. The image of my tits swinging to the rhythm of every thrust in the mirror’s reflection, Andrés biting his lip behind me, my ass trembling with every blow... all of it pushed me relentlessly to the edge.

He smacked my right buttock hard, and I cried out with pure pleasure.

—You’re mine this afternoon, aren’t you, sweetheart? Tell me you’re mine.

—Yes, yes, I’m yours, fuck me, don’t stop...

He grabbed my hair, pulling my head back, and kept thrusting with such force that the bed creaked. With his other hand, he found my clitoris and began rubbing it in circles while continuing to bury himself inside me. I felt I couldn’t take any more.

—Can I come inside, love? —he whispered in my ear, leaning over my back without stopping his fucking.

—Yes, yes, yes, come inside me, fill me —I answered between moans, watching his face of pleasure in the mirror.

He sped up even more, pounding into me like an animal during the final seconds. A deep growl rose from his chest, and I felt a hot release inside me, jet after jet, as he drove himself all the way in and stayed still, trembling. At the same time, an orgasm shook me, making my legs tremble, so intense that I had to grip the sheets with my teeth clenched so I wouldn’t wake the whole building. I could feel his cock still throbbing inside me, emptying itself, and my pussy contracting around it, squeezing him. I had never come like that in my life.

When he finally pulled out, I felt his semen begin to run down the inside of my thigh. I collapsed facedown on the bed, exhausted, my ass raised and his cum trickling from my pussy. Andrés fell beside me and hugged me while we both caught our breath. We stayed like that, tangled together, until sleep overcame us for a while.

***

A couple of hours later, I got dressed, my panties still damp with sticky wetness between my legs, and returned home before Rubén arrived. I showered twice, as if the water could erase what I’d done. It couldn’t. I could still feel Andrés’s cock inside me whenever I closed my eyes.

I’ve kept this secret ever since. I don’t know whether it will happen again, and I don’t know if I have the courage to leave it behind or continue. I only know that, for the first time in a long while, I felt desired, truly fucked, made to feel like a woman again. And that feeling, no matter how wrong it is, still hasn’t left my body. That’s why I needed to tell it. That’s why I’m here.