What I Did at That Party and Never Confessed to My Boyfriend

I never told Gonzalo. We’ve been together for almost four years, and there’s one night that’s still mine alone, kept in a drawer I return to whenever I want to blush in private. I’m writing it now because I need to get it out of me, even if it’s without names or faces. I’m writing it with my thighs pressed together, because just remembering it makes my pussy wet, just like it was that morning.

It all started on a Friday, with a call from Carla. My friend from work, the one who always dares to do what I only think about.

—Are you doing anything Saturday? —she asked me—. There’s a party, and I can bring someone.

—I’m not invited —I replied, laughing at the suggestion.

—They told me to bring whoever I want. And Gonzalo’s working nights this weekend, unless I’m mistaken?

She wasn’t mistaken. My boyfriend worked night shifts, and I was left wandering around the apartment, watching shows I didn’t care about. I accepted before I could think too much about it.

Carla picked me up in her brother’s car. She was twenty-six, three years younger than me, but she drove with a confidence I still lacked. On the way, she told me whose party it was.

—They’re three brothers. Marcus, the oldest, is thirty-two. Then there’s André, and the birthday boy is Bruno, who turns twenty-eight today. Their parents are from the Caribbean, but they were raised here. And they’re… —she paused theatrically— a postcard.

I laughed, but she went on, lowering her voice as if someone could hear us in the empty car.

—I was with Marcus a few weeks ago. He fucked me like no one else, Mari. I still remember how big he was. And I want to do it again. —She glanced at me at a traffic light—. You once told me about a fantasy. Tonight you could make it happen, if you’re brave enough.

I felt my cheeks burning, and something lower down was burning too. It was true: one morning, after too much wine, I’d confessed that sometimes I dreamed of a big black cock splitting me open, with a tall, dark man, different from anything I’d ever known. But they were dreams. Things a woman thinks about with her fingers buried between her legs and never says out loud.

They were only dreams, I repeated to myself as we drove up a tree-lined street. And yet I could already feel the tingling between my thighs, my panties gradually sticking to me.

Carla rang the bell of a low house with warm light filtering through the curtains. It took them a while to open, and when they did, I understood what she meant by a postcard. A huge man, close to six foot three, with broad shoulders and a slow smile, filled the doorway. His gray shirt stretched across his chest, and his pants outlined a bulge that made me swallow hard.

—Hi, Carla. —Then he fixed his eyes on me—. And you must be Mariela. Come in.

—Hi, Marcus —she greeted him, giving him a kiss on the cheek that lasted a second too long.

—It’s a pleasure to have you here —he told me—. Carla’s told us a lot about you.

—I hope it was all good things —I replied, regretting the cliché as soon as I said it.

—Only good things —he repeated, holding the door for me and brushing my waist as I passed.

Inside, people filled the entire ground floor, music loud enough to talk over, glasses moving back and forth. Marcus brought each of us a drink. As I drank, I realized something: even though I was older than Carla, that night I felt like the newest one, the most out of place, the one who didn’t know the rules of the game. And yet my pussy throbbed as if it knew exactly where I was headed.

***

After a while, another of the brothers joined us. André. As tall as Marcus, with a white shirt open at the neck and a way of moving that seemed carefully studied.

—This is André —Carla said—. André, this is Mariela. Mari to her friends.

I shook his hand and remembered again what she’d told me in the car. I looked at him despite myself and immediately looked away, but it was too late: Carla knew me too well.

—Your cheeks turn red when you like something —she whispered in my ear, brushing a lock of hair aside—. What do you think of André? Look at his package, Mari. Don’t be an idiot, look.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to. I looked. Beneath his dress pants, a thick, long cock showed itself, hanging heavily against his thigh. Carla smiled, bit her lip, and moved closer to him. She danced pressed against his body, ran her hands over his chest, whispered things in his ear that I couldn’t hear. She grabbed his bulge without even trying to hide it, squeezed, and he let out a slow smile. I watched them from the sofa, my drink sweating in my hand, feeling the heat travel down my body without permission. My panties were already a disaster.

Marcus returned with a tray of drinks, and behind him came the birthday boy.

—Happy birthday —I said to Bruno when he sat beside me.

—Thanks. Are you Carla’s friend? —he asked, looking at me with calm curiosity.

—Yes. I’m Mari.

—We’ve heard a few things about you —he said, and the words left me with a question at the tip of my tongue that I never got to ask.

Because just then Carla came back toward us, took me by the wrist, and, without losing her smile, said something that changed the temperature of the entire room.

—Vicky… —she deliberately got my name wrong, laughing— Mari, I mean. Come upstairs with me. I need to talk to you.

—Should we all go up? —Marcus suggested, as if he’d been thinking about it from the start.

I looked at Carla. Carla looked at me. And although every bit of common sense told me to stay downstairs, I finished my drink in one gulp and followed her upstairs, feeling all three men’s eyes fixed on my ass as I climbed.

***

The room was dim. There was a large sofa against one wall, a bed in a corner, and a desk covered with papers. The music reached us faintly, muffled by the floor below. Marcus poured another round, and the first glass practically emptied itself.

—Mari, do whatever you want —Carla said as she straddled André’s lap—. I came here to fuck, and I’m not wasting the night.

She kissed him. A long kiss, with her tongue deep inside, shameless, the kind that made it clear there was no going back. She pulled his shirt off in one motion and ran her hands over his dark, muscular chest. I was left on the sofa, with Bruno on one side and an awkward space on the other. The birthday boy placed one hand on my knee, barely touching me, waiting for me to decide.

And I decided. I placed my hand over his and let it move upward, up my thigh, to the edge of my soaked panties.

—Are you sure? —he asked quietly, with a gentleness I hadn’t expected from someone his size.

—It’s your birthday —I replied, surprised by my own boldness—. You deserve something. And I’m already soaking wet just thinking about it, so don’t make me hesitate.

A hoarse laugh escaped him, and he kissed me. His lips were soft, and he smelled of cedar and something citrusy. His tongue slipped into my mouth with a calmness that made me tremble. As we kissed, his fingers moved the fabric of my panties aside and stroked my pussy from top to bottom, sliding through my juices.

—You’re soaked, Mari —he whispered against my mouth—. Fuck, you taste so good.

—I told you —I panted, grabbing his hand so he would press harder.

On the other side of the sofa, Carla had already unbuttoned André’s pants. She pulled his cock out, and I couldn’t help looking: a huge black cock, thick as a wrist, with a glistening head. Carla laughed when she saw my expression and, without taking her eyes off André, crouched down and swallowed it whole. I heard her gag, swallow, moan with her mouth full. That soundtrack set me on fire. I felt everything inside me tighten.

Marcus moved in beside me. He didn’t say anything; he simply brushed my hair away from my neck and kissed me there, right where he knew it would make me shudder. At the same time, Bruno pushed two fingers deep into my pussy, with calculated slowness, and began moving his hand. Between the two brothers, I felt small and enormous at once, desired in a way I’d never experienced. Marcus pulled my dress down to my waist, unfastened my bra, and caught one of my tits in his mouth, sucking my nipple hard and biting it until I screamed.

—Carla was right —Marcus murmured against my skin—. You get turned on so fast. Your tits are hard, your cunt is dripping… you’re a beautiful slut.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. Bruno kept fucking me with his fingers while Marcus ran his open palm over my back and bit my neck. I let myself fall backward onto the sofa, eyes closed, feeling four hands that seemed like more, mouths taking turns, the weight of desire crushing every thought of guilt.

Carla suddenly appeared in front of me, disheveled and radiant, her lips swollen from sucking cock. She laughed with that mischievous look of hers.

—This one loves giving kisses —she told the brothers, pointing at me—. But she still hasn’t tried half of what’s here tonight. Take it all off, Bruno. Let’s see her.

She helped me pull my dress over my head, then lowered my soaked panties herself, dragging them down my legs. As she did, she gave me a fleeting kiss on the lips, something she and I had never done before. It was strange and perfect. Her tongue barely brushed mine, and I felt a new tug in my stomach. Then she turned to André, hiked her skirt up to her waist, yanked off her panties, and sat backward on him, impaling herself at once on his black cock. She screamed when it went in and kept screaming, moving up and down while André grabbed her tits from underneath.

I was left with Marcus and Bruno dividing their attention between me. Bruno knelt between my legs, opened them with both hands, and buried his face in my pussy. I felt his broad, hot tongue lick me all over, from bottom to top, closing over my clitoris with a suction that tore a cry from me. Marcus covered my mouth with his and kissed me while Bruno ate me out. When he finally let me go, I no longer knew where I was.

—Suck me —Marcus ordered, pulling his cock from his pants—. I want to see that pretty mouth occupied.

I looked down and nearly choked just seeing it. It was enormous, dark, veined, with a purple head so thick I wondered whether it would fit inside me. I gripped it with both hands, licked from the base to the tip, and slowly began taking it into my mouth. Marcus grabbed my hair and pushed it deeper, until I felt my throat close around it. I came back up, swallowed, and went down again. I sucked his cock as best I could while Bruno kept licking my pussy and slid three fingers inside me, curling them against that spot that made me writhe.

—Oh God, yes, like that, like that —I gasped as soon as Marcus pulled his cock from my mouth—. Don’t stop, Bruno, don’t stop…

***

I’m not going to recount every minute. Some things blur, while others are burned into me. I remember the first time I lost control that night, with Bruno’s mouth where no birthday boy should ever have been grateful to find it, sucking my clitoris mercilessly while Marcus held my face so he could look into my eyes as I came apart. I came screaming, pushing his face against my pussy, my legs trembling around his shoulders. And less than two minutes later, Bruno climbed on top of me, took his cock in his hand, and began pushing it inside me little by little.

—You’re so tight, fuck —he grunted, thrusting—. Your cunt is sucking me in, Mari…

—Put it all the way in —I begged—. All of it, Bruno, come on.

And he put it all the way in. I screamed against Marcus’s shoulder, who had brought his cock back to my mouth. Bruno began fucking me hard, with long thrusts that made my head knock against the arm of the sofa. Marcus put his cock back in my mouth, and there I was, one cock in my pussy and another between my lips, sucking and being fucked at the same time, like a bitch in heat.

On the other side, Carla was already on the floor, on all fours, with André fucking her from behind. Every thrust made her moan loudly, and every moan squeezed me a little tighter inside.

I remember the moment when Carla, on the other side of the sofa, screamed something even she didn’t understand and clung to the backrest, trembling, with André still buried deep inside her, coming inside her with a roar. We looked at each other for a second, both on the edge, and laughed breathlessly, conspirators in a madness we would keep forever.

And above all, I remember what happened afterward, when I’d already lost count of my own shudders. Bruno pulled away, panting, and Marcus turned me around on the sofa, put me on my knees against the backrest, and got behind me. He gripped my hips and drove his cock into me in a single thrust. I howled. I had never felt anything so thick. He stayed still inside me for a second, giving me time to adjust, and then began fucking me as if he wanted to break me. Bruno stood in front of me, still hard, and brought his cock to my mouth. I sucked him without thinking, taking him into my mouth while his brother split me open from behind.

—That’s it, slut, that’s it —Marcus said, slapping my ass so hard it echoed through the room—. Suck my brother good and hard. It’s his birthday. Give him your mouth.

I obeyed, moaning around a mouthful, my eyes watering, feeling that I was about to come again. And when I came, I came screaming around Bruno’s cock, clenching down on Marcus’s, my whole body trembling.

And right then, precisely then, my cell phone rang.

Carla grabbed it from the bedside table and looked at the screen, her eyes wide.

—It’s Gonzalo —she said, covering the microphone with her thumb.

My heart lurched. My boyfriend. Calling from his shift, unaware of everything, while I was in that room with my breathing ragged, my skin burning, and a cock still buried in my pussy.

—I can’t… —I began, but Carla had already decided for me.

—Answer normally —she ordered in a whisper—. I’ll help you. And I’m putting it on speaker so we can laugh about it afterward.

I barely had time to take two breaths. Marcus, behind me, didn’t seem willing to stop; on the contrary, he dug his fingers into my hip and kept moving slowly, sliding in and out with a perversity that made me close my eyes. I answered in the calmest voice I could fake.

—Hi, my love.

—Hi, sweetheart. Everything okay? Are you having fun? —Gonzalo’s voice sounded tired, sweet, completely unaware.

—Yes… very much —I replied, and had to grit my teeth when Marcus made me lose my train of thought with a deeper thrust—. The party’s incredible.

—You sound strange. What are you doing?

Carla covered her mouth to keep from bursting out laughing. In front of me, Bruno stroked his cock against my lips without putting it in, enjoying the scene. I searched for any excuse, the first thing that came to me.

—We’re at the buffet, eating. There are these piping-hot sausages; I almost burned my tongue —I blurted out, and Carla had to bury her face in a cushion so her laughter wouldn’t give us away. Bruno shoved his cock into my mouth right then, choking back a moan from me, and I had to hold the phone with my trembling hand.

—Ha, be careful with that —he laughed, suspecting nothing—. Well, enjoy yourself. I have to go; they’re calling me here.

—Yes, my love. See you tomorrow —I said, pulling Bruno’s cock from my mouth just enough, a thread of saliva hanging from my lip.

—I love you. Behave yourself.

—I love you too —I said, hanging up just in time, before a sigh could betray me. A second later, Marcus thrust deep and came inside me with a grunt that rose from his throat. I felt the hot spurts filling me and couldn’t hold back: I came too, biting the cushion to keep from screaming.

I set the phone face down and stared at it for a second, caught between a dizzy rush and an adrenaline high I didn’t know what to do with, Marcus still inside me. Carla lifted her head from the cushion, red-faced and crying with laughter.

—“I almost burned my tongue” —she repeated breathlessly, pointing at Bruno’s cock—. You’re dangerous, Mari.

And I, who had never felt so guilty and so alive at the same time, laughed with her until the laughter turned into something else. Bruno still hadn’t finished. He lay back on the sofa and beckoned me with one finger. I climbed on top of him, positioned his cock in the pussy soaked by his brother, and impaled myself in one motion. I began moving on my own, bouncing on his dick, my tits jumping in front of his face. He gripped my hips and helped me bounce harder. Marcus came closer, spread my ass with both hands, and I understood what was coming. He pushed in one wet finger, then two, and then the tip of his cock.

—Relax —he whispered in my ear—. You’ll see how good it feels.

No one had ever fucked me in the ass. I howled as he eased it inside. It hurt and it didn’t hurt. Bruno kept moving beneath me and Marcus above me, and between the two of them they filled me completely. It was animal, obscene, impossible to forget. I came once more, dripping between the two brothers, and felt them both come inside me almost at the same time.

The night continued on. I lost count of the times, the mouths, the hands. At some point Carla lay down beside me, sweaty, and hugged me like a friend who had also been something else that night.

***

When we drove home, it was already early morning. The streets were empty, and we were silent. Carla drove with a fixed, satisfied smile. I looked out the window, going over every image, every decision. Everything on me was sore, and I liked that it was.

—I had a fantasy —I finally told her—. Being with someone like that. There. I made it happen.

—With three, darling —she corrected me, amused—. And in all three holes.

—With three —I admitted, laughing softly—. And from now on, I’ll be faithful to Gonzalo.

Carla turned her head for a moment, looked at me with the expression of someone who didn’t entirely believe a promise, and let out a laugh that filled the car.

I never went back to that house. I never told my boyfriend anything. And yet, every so often, when a doorbell rings at night or someone mentions a birthday party, I feel the heat rising up my neck again, just as it did that time in the doorway, and my hand slips between my legs on its own. Some confessions are made aloud. Others, like this one, are written for one person alone, with her fingers occupied.