Exhibitionism

I let my dress fall on the balcony knowing he was watching from the other side of the glass. And I knew my husband had planned everything.

No one on that trail could imagine what I was wearing under my clothes, or the wild woman the brush of the air finally woke in me that afternoon.

It was two in the morning when a video put the idea in my head. Days later, I walked through the supermarket with a secret vibrating between my legs.

When her friend was asleep on the sofa, Vera challenged me to show myself and touch myself for her. I couldn’t refuse.

I get home, strip naked on the sofa, and lose count. It’s my routine, my secret, the only thing I truly need at the end of the day.

I was alone, the heat was unbearable, and the water ran lukewarm over my skin. Then I got an idea I’d been imagining for months and had never had the courage to try.

I turned on the vibrator, opened a bingo game, and promised myself one rule for every ball. What happened next took me weeks to tell anyone.

I never thought watching a stranger touch herself at dawn would ignite such a strong desire in me that I’d end up in a park that same night, losing all shame.

Three mornings a week she cleaned the corridor right on the other side of my desk. And three mornings a week I learned not to look away from the glass.

I asked my husband for a photo of himself and got one of another man: a perfect stranger. That night I had no idea how far that image would take me in my sleep.

I’d spent weeks showing myself to her on camera. That night, with one whispered sentence, she asked me for something that changed forever what I thought I wanted.

By day, I seemed like the most innocent of all. By night, behind a closed door, I discovered a version of myself no one would ever have imagined.

Half an hour ago I opened my email with my legs already restless. I wanted to know how many had jerked off thinking about me. There were more than I expected.

I asked my friend to help me fulfill a fantasy I’d had for years: letting strangers watch me. I never expected how much I’d enjoy it.