I Broke In My New Toys Alone in My Bed

I’d been turning the idea over in my head for months without quite daring to do it. I wanted to know what it really felt like, to explore myself slowly, to touch exactly where I felt like touching and for as long as I felt like it. I pictured myself stretched out on the bed, soaked, cumming over and over with nobody setting the pace but me.

The fantasy followed me through the dumbest moments: washing the dishes, waiting for the bus, right before falling asleep. And one day, without thinking about it too much, I stopped fantasizing and started acting.

I opened an erotic shop website one night, in my pajamas, with the lights off and only the screen lighting up my face. I browsed through categories at my own pace, reading descriptions, biting my lip every time something caught my eye. It took me more than an hour to decide, not because I was unsure, but because I liked the thrill of choosing.

In the end I went for a realistic one with a suction cup, two vibrators of different sizes, a clitoral sucker I’d read amazing things about, and, what made me most curious of all, a toy designed for the back end. I hit buy with my heart racing, as if someone might be watching me.

The waiting days were a delicious torture. Every time the building buzzer went off, I jumped.

***

They arrived, of course, on the morning I had the afternoon shift. The box showed up in the parcel locker just as I was leaving with barely enough time to clock in. I took it upstairs, left it unopened on the bed, and stood staring at it for a few seconds, knowing I’d have to wait hours before I could touch it.

I work in a hair salon, on my feet almost all day, with my hands busy and my head somewhere else. That day felt endless. I smiled at the clients, chatted about the weather, recommended hair masks, and inside I thought only about the closed box waiting for me.

You can imagine what my underwear was like by mid-afternoon. Every time I bent down to pick something up, every brush of fabric reminded me where I wanted to be. I counted the hours, then the minutes. When I finally hung up my apron and stepped outside, I almost ran home.

At last, this afternoon is mine, I thought as I took the stairs two at a time.

***

I didn’t want to rush in headfirst. I’d waited too long to ruin it with impatience. I took a long shower, let the hot water loosen the tension in my work-weary shoulders, and dried off slowly in front of the mirror, looking at myself in a way I almost never do.

At last I opened the box. I took out each toy and lined them up on the sheet like someone arranging a small treasure. I switched off the main light and left only the bedside lamp on, that warm glow that makes everything feel more intimate. I lay down naked, the toys beside me, and took a deep breath.

I started with what I knew: myself. I ran my fingers over my belly, moved down slowly, and at the first touch on my clit a shiver shot through me that I hadn’t expected so soon. I was already wet. I’d been like that all day, lit from within, and my body had decided not to wait any longer.

With my other hand I reached for the smallest vibrator. I turned it on at the lowest setting and brought it close slowly, prolonging the moment, until I barely rested it against my clit. My whole body trembled when I felt it vibrating there, right there. I let out a sigh that sounded louder than I meant it to in the silence of the flat.

My own hand started getting in the way. I moved it aside, spread my legs wide, and left the vibrator in place, barely holding it, feeling it do the work on its own. I turned the power up a notch and the trembling became waves. In one of those spasms the toy slipped, and the tip landed right at the entrance.

I pressed a little with my hand and let only the tip go in. I closed my eyes. It was so much better than I had imagined on all those waiting nights, and my imagination had been generous.

I turned my head and saw the others waiting their turn. I wanted to try them all. I had the whole afternoon and the whole bed to myself.

***

When I went to take the vibrator out, I accidentally brushed the back entrance with one finger and found it slick with the fluid that had been dripping down. I didn’t think about it. I took my finger there and started moving it slowly, in circles, getting used to a new sensation. It was crystal clear what the next toy would be.

I got onto all fours, back arched and ass raised. I grabbed the anal toy with one hand while with the other I kept slipping my finger in and out. I brought it up cold, fresh out of the box, and just as I withdrew my finger I pushed it into place. It went in without effort, almost as if it were asking for it.

The contrast in temperature drove me wild. That unexpected cold against my body heat tore a long moan out of me against the pillow. I stayed still for a moment, just feeling, letting my body adjust to the new presence.

Then I started moving it. I slid my hand underneath me, tracing from my clit to the back, setting my own in-and-out rhythm. And then I discovered that, when I moved my arm, my forearm brushed my clit with every sway. Two pleasures at once, synchronized by my own movement.

It wasn’t enough. I wanted more, I wanted to feel overwhelmed. I reached with my free hand, grabbed the realistic toy with the suction cup, and took it to my mouth. I was driving myself completely mad alone in my bed, with nobody there, and I loved it more than I expected.

I stayed like that for a good while: my arm grazing my clit with every motion from behind, my mouth occupied, my whole body trembling. The sensation built in ever-higher waves until it stopped climbing and simply exploded. I couldn’t hold back any longer.

I came so hard I felt the gush shoot out as I convulsed. I ended up lying on my back, breathless, legs hanging off the bed and a stupid smile I couldn’t get off my face.

***

I couldn’t stop there. I still had toys left to break in and there was still plenty of body left to give it all. I waited for my breathing to settle a little, stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, and went back in for more.

I stuck the suction cup of the realistic toy to the headboard, pressed until I made sure it was firmly in place, and moved the pillow aside so it wouldn’t get in the way. I got back onto all fours, facing away from the headboard, and impaled myself slowly to get used to it. The position gave me total control; I could decide every millimeter.

With one hand I grabbed the sucker and pressed it against my clit. The combination stole my breath: the rhythmic suction at the front, the realistic toy at the back, and the anal toy still in place reminding me I was completely full.

I started thrusting against the headboard, first gently, then harder and harder. The wood thudded against the wall in a rhythm that filled the room, and the sound only made me hotter. Every thrust shifted the toy in my ass and made me see stars.

It barely took a couple of minutes. The second orgasm hit me all at once, another gush, another shudder that ripped through me from head to toe. I collapsed forward and ended up face down, exhausted, clutching the sheet as if I might fly away.

And even so, I didn’t want to stop.

***

I carefully pulled the toy from my ass and set it aside. I stayed lying in the same position, face down, and slid my hand underneath me. With my arm pinned beneath my own weight I could barely reach my clit, but there was something dirty and exciting about that awkward, uncomfortable gesture. I was soaked, lying in my own slick, with not an ounce of shame.

Then I looked over and saw the pillow I’d moved aside earlier. I smiled. I grabbed it, wedged it between my legs in the same position, and started grinding against it while squeezing my thighs. I knew that one well. Until I bought the toys, that had always been my favorite way to do it. That poor pillow had ended up soaked too many times to count.

I rubbed myself like that for a while, getting my strength back, letting desire rise again from below at its own pace. When I felt my body answering once more, I pushed myself up onto my knees with the pillow held tight between my legs and started riding it back and forth.

Faster and faster. Harder and harder. I grabbed the headboard with one hand to keep my balance and kept moving against the fabric, chasing the last orgasm of the afternoon with everything I had left.

It came. This third time there was no gush, but it was the one that truly left me in pieces. A deeper pleasure, slower, that ran through me completely and emptied me out.

I let myself fall onto the unmade bed, among the toys and rumpled sheets, too drained even to cover myself. I fulfilled every one of the fantasies I’d imagined for weeks and discovered a few new ones along the way.

I ended up so wrecked that I fell asleep right there, naked and satisfied, without setting an alarm and with no intention of moving.

Tomorrow I’m doing it again, I managed to think before closing my eyes.