First Time

She was twenty, had a date in three days, and had never touched a man. She asked me for help—and I knew someone willing to be her first lesson.

From the darkness I watched her move on top of him, and I understood I no longer knew whether it hurt more to watch or to want to keep watching.

I never saw him in person. I only needed my words, a candlelit altar, and the certainty that a man can kneel before someone who will never return the gesture.

Adrián thought he was just going up to a friend’s place. He didn’t count on Lucas being awake in the living room, or on the need he’d spent all night holding back.

They had shared the same room since childhood, and she watched her sleep every night. That morning, when her aunt let the towel fall in front of the mirror, she knew she could no longer keep pretending.

She always sat in the back, untouchable, until a kiss on the cheek cracked her armor. I never imagined the most reserved girl in class would end up trembling in my arms.

When she slid the latch shut and dropped her jacket on the chair, I knew we weren’t going to spend those hours on the narrow bunk sleeping.

I wore Carolina’s black panty under tight pants, walking the city’s darkest avenue and waiting for someone to stop beside me.

She went down to reception just to ask about a trail, but she kept staring too long at the green eyes of the girl behind the desk. And the girl noticed.

I arrived in the city knowing no one, and that very afternoon a stranger offered me a slice of pizza. Neither of us knew where that gesture would lead.

I thought it would be a little innocent peck, just to laugh. But her mouth stayed on mine longer than it should have, and I knew that night we weren’t going to sleep as friends.

She arrived at dinner thinking it would be a quiet evening among friends. She had no idea that night would teach her, in a stranger’s arms, everything her body had kept silent for years.

She lowered the blinds, locked the door, and stood behind me. “You just need to relax,” she whispered. What came next wasn’t on any exam.

The Rio girl sat between them like the night belonged to her. “Soft or the kind that break things?” she asked. Neither of them knew what was still waiting to be discovered.

I’d never thought about another woman like that until her white coat brushed my knee and I knew this exam would be unlike any other.

She had never imagined what it would be like to be with a woman. That afternoon, with her blouse half open, she stopped wondering.

I fell asleep in my underwear thinking how fun the party had been. Renata got under the sheets, and her hand didn’t seek my waist: it sought something else.

“And you don’t mind that she’s got a cock?” her cousin asked before introducing her to me. I said I wanted to get to know her first. That same night I ended up on my knees at her feet.

I practiced in front of the mirror for weeks. The night I packed the dress into my backpack, I knew there was no turning back: this time it would be real.

I wanted to see another man inside my girlfriend. What I hadn’t reckoned with was what I would feel, lying in the next bed while she moaned for him, not me.