My Worst Enemy Fucked Me Inside the Wrecked Car

Hey, midnight degenerates. It’s me again, the guy you fantasize about every time you switch off the light: Joker, mercenary, living legend, and future national treasure.

I know perfectly well why you’re here, so I’ll spare you the spiel and get straight to the point, since you’ve got one hand busy and the other impatient. This is going to be quick, filthy, and memorable.

Quick summary for the latecomers: I’ve spent years chasing a bastard who won’t die no matter how many bullets he takes. Literally. His name is Cain, he’s as tall as a wardrobe, he growls instead of speaking, and he’s got a skeleton lined with metal and blades that come out of his forearms whenever he gets angry. And he’s always angry.

I needed him for a very well-paid job, so I found him sunk in booze in a roadside dive, won him over with my usual charms — that is, by lying to him — and we took off in a battered family sedan some poor fool had had the bad luck to park badly.

The problem came when, once we were on the move, I let one little detail slip. That maybe I’d lied to him. Just a tiny bit. Enough for that walking wardrobe to have all his wires crossed.

He said things, like that my last boyfriend kissed better than he fought.

And I did things, like punch him right in the face.

As you can imagine, things did not end well at all.

***

The fight continued inside the car, to the rhythm of a syrupy ballad the radio had decided to blast at the worst possible moment. Joker hurled Cain against the windshield and he went through it headfirst, but he sprang back up, pulled the blades from his forearms, and lunged at the vehicle again.

He drove the blades into the hood to propel himself, and the momentum set off the airbag, which exploded into Joker’s face like a slap from fate. By the time he managed to shove it aside, Cain was already on top of him, growling, teeth clenched.

They rolled across the seats in a tangle of elbows and knees. Joker saw his opponent smile — quite the event — just before he flung him through the sunroof and watched him crash like a sack onto the ground of the vacant lot.

—I take it back —Joker said, settling into the back seat—. This heap has its charm. Shame you fuck worse than you drive.

—This has only just begun —Cain shot back from outside, making a two-finger gesture for him to come back in.

Joker, stung in his pride, unsheathed the daggers he carried on his back and lunged back into the car, ready to give that overbuilt brute a fight. Bad plan. Cain grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against the rear window, which exploded into a thousand pieces over the upholstery.

The sedan rocked with every hit they landed inside it, creaking on its shocks like it was alive and sorry to exist. Joker managed to slip in a kick that sent Cain crashing into the dashboard and, in the process, silenced the radio with a sharp crack.

—See? —Joker panted—. Even the car prefers silence when you’re around.

Cain didn’t answer. He came back on the attack with his fists while the vehicle shook as if someone were fucking it from behind in earnest. Joker managed, in a lapse, to grab him by the head, flip him onto his back with his legs spread, and plant his ass in his face.

—Sulfur bomb! —he announced proudly.

The growl Cain let out wasn’t anger, it was pure disgust. He yanked his face away with a gag and Joker took advantage to kick him back into the steering wheel.

—Fine nose like that has its downsides, huh, cupcake? —he laughed—. Yesterday’s beans give it a special touch.

—You’re the most disgusting thing I’ve ever met —Cain muttered, baring his teeth.

—And you still haven’t seen me naked.

Logan —sorry, Cain— growled and lunged at him, raining punches down. Joker gave back every blow between laughs, until on one pass he spotted one of his own daggers gleaming on the seat. He picked it up. And drove it straight into Cain’s ass, slicing through his tactical pants and into the flesh.

—Aaaah, bastard! —Cain roared, feeling the blade come out the other side as he reached back—. You tore my fucking pants.

—Take it as a compliment —Joker said—. You’re not much for gallantry. Are you really going to take me from behind without even taking me to dinner first?

Cain went very still. Something changed in his eyes, a mix of rage and something thicker, hotter.

—Shut the fuck up already —he said, voice rough, coming up behind him—. I’m going to wreck you. Worst of all, you’re going to enjoy it.

He yanked down his zipper and his cock emerged big, hard, and veined, the swollen head flushed red and a shiny bead peeking from the tip. He spat on it and rubbed it slowly, unhurried, while Joker felt the weight of that shaft searching for its place between his ass cheeks.

—I’m sure of it... mmm —purred Joker—. Give me everything, daddy. Though you should know I’ve got a very stable relationship with my right hand lately and...

—Shut your mouth —Cain cut in. And pushed.

—Fuck! —Joker moaned, this time without a single joke ready, feeling that cock fill him all the way to the bottom, with not a shred of gentleness.

***

Cain started moving slowly and quickly sped up, driving hard, growling with every shove like an animal inside the wrecked car. He moved his hips at a mad pace and Joker took every thrust without doing anything but moan and cling to whatever he could grab.

—Ah! Mama! —he gasped, though the truth was he was having a fantastic time.

—Big mouth... faggot... son of a bitch —Cain growled as he drilled him, veins standing out on his forehead and his teeth clenched in a furious grimace.

—You really know how to say the nicest things, you’re going to make me blush —Joker managed to get out before a deeper thrust left him breathless.

He was a beast. But what a beast. He was fucking him senseless. The sedan rocked beneath them nonstop, the seat springs protesting with every hip slam. Cain leaned forward, let a spit of saliva fall where their bodies joined, and kept right on, drawing increasingly sharp moans out of him.

—What’s the matter, smartass? —he panted, almost amused—. Has the cat got your tongue? Come on, say something clever.

Joker muttered something no one could make out. Cain drove into him to the hilt again to silence him, smiling with a smile that had nothing pleasant about it.

—You’re going to find out —he murmured.

He leaned forward, covering him with his whole body, and without pulling his cock out he stabbed his blades into Joker’s sides with savage force. Joker let out a scream that scared the birds off the vacant lot.

—Aaaah! God! This is workplace abuse! —he shouted while feeling the wounds close on their own, with Cain’s cock still drilling him like nothing had happened—. Fuuuck!

—You’re not so funny now —Cain growled.

He retracted the blades and let the flesh heal completely before slowly pulling out. He straightened to his knees on the seats, with his head poking through the shattered sunroof, and his cock ended up right at Joker’s mouth, thick, hard, and glistening.

—Wow —Joker said, looking at it with something close to admiration—. I see the skeleton isn’t the only thing you’ve got made of metal.

—Shut up and open your mouth.

—Not even a compliment for me? You’re hurting my feelings, big guy.

—If I could see your face, I wouldn’t get hard for you even with a box of blue pills. To hell with your feelings.

Cain grabbed his head with one hand and, without further ado, shoved his cock into his mouth in one thrust, finally shutting him up. Joker, instead of resisting, relaxed and started working it with his tongue, tracing the full length, licking the head, taking it in as far as his desire and jaw would allow.

—At least you’re good for something like this —Cain commented, letting out a deep sigh as he slowly pushed Joker’s head down until his balls knocked against his chin.

—My hero... mmm —Joker purred between licks.

—Come on —Cain muttered impatiently, though he ended up sighing in pleasure when that skilled mouth wrapped around his balls and covered them in saliva.

Joker gave his balls long licks, seeming to enjoy himself without any visible enthusiasm, because he knew that as soon as the other got too comfortable he’d ruin it with one of his usual tricks. Cain let him, looking out at the empty lot, with no witnesses or gawkers in sight, holding him by the nape.

—Dreams do come true —Joker sighed, looking up with Cain’s cock resting on his face.

Cain lowered his gaze and caught him staring at him with rapt adoration. He grimaced.

—What the hell are you doing?

—Enjoying the view.

—Don’t stop and swallow, fuck.

And he rammed his cock down his throat, shutting him up again, fucking his mouth without mercy and tearing gagging sounds out of him that he cared about not at all. He was too content with the silence to slow down.

He kept at it for a good while, until with a rough yank he pulled out, leaving it hanging in front of Joker’s face, completely soaked and connected to his lips by a strand of spit.

—Move over —Cain barked, letting himself fall back on the folded-down seats.

—Ah, I see where you’re going with this —Joker said, catching on—. Good thing this thing’s spacious. Dirty old man.

—Can’t you shut up for five minutes? Get on and ride.

—Ride the steel pony? Sure, daddy.

He positioned himself on top, clutching those massive shoulders, and slowly sank down onto that thick cock until he was face-to-face with Cain, who looked at him with equal parts exhaustion and desire.

—I love that rabid-dog face —Joker remarked, earning himself a growl—. Damn. This really is like climbing onto a rocket for the...

—Shut the fuck up already! —Cain cut him off, and started driving up into him, fucking him mercilessly to silence him.

—Ooooh! OOOH! Fuck! Aaah! —Joker moaned, bouncing on him, clinging to his shoulders like they were red-hot iron.

Cain answered with a feral growl, drilling him with his hips and his gaze at the same time. He moved his hips like a man possessed, wrecking his ass as if there were no tomorrow, slamming into him harder and harder while the seat creaked beneath them with an alarming crack.

—Jesus! You’re going to split me in two —Joker panted, and for once it didn’t sound like a complaint.

Cain didn’t answer. He sped up even more, as if he wanted to make him unusable. The truth was, if he managed it, he wouldn’t regret it too much: the guy was a fucking unbearable smartass. Though his ass swallowed cock like few others, and his mouth, when he managed to keep it shut, wasn’t bad at all either.

The whole car was shaking. Joker, in the middle of the rattling, brought a hand to his thigh and drew the dagger.

—By the way —he said—. You know how to give, but do you know how to take?

And he opened a clean slash from Cain’s neck to the middle of his chest, ripping through the tactical shirt and the skin in one motion. Blood burst out and this time it was Cain who shouted, while the fabric turned red.

—What’s wrong? Did you think you’d be the only one who ended up with ripped clothes? —Joker laughed while the wound sealed itself in seconds—. Don’t be such a crybaby, it was just a scratch.

He shoved his fingers into the tear and pulled until the shirt opened all the way. Underneath was a massive chest, sweaty and shining, with pecs like slabs and a defined abdomen that could bend metal.

—Holy shit —Joker said, rubbing that body with relish and pinching the nipples, hard as stones—. With tits like these you could take someone’s eye out. Way better than your kitty little blades.

—Son of a bitch —Cain growled. And far from throwing him off, he grabbed him by the hips and drove into him again with even more eagerness, making the whole car tremble.

—OOOH YES! JOKER HAS BEEN VERY BAD, DADDY! Jesus! —he howled, delighted with life.

Cain roared, fucking him as if he wanted to blow the vehicle apart from the inside out. Joker’s hands roamed over his soaked abdomen, pinched his nipples, teased him, and the growl at every thrust got deeper, more animal.

—Come on, old man, make me sweat —Joker panted—. My cock’s about to burst.

That lit him up completely. He clenched his teeth and gave it to him full force, slamming the seat with every roll of his hips, hearing that bastard roar with pleasure at every thrust. Joker looked up at the sky through the shattered roof, moaning nonstop.

—Give me everything! —he begged.

The seat gave way with a dry crack. Cain felt his cock swell inside that hot ass, throbbing, and with a shout that echoed across the vacant lot he began to empty himself, shot after shot, hot and abundant. For the first time all night, Joker didn’t ruin it with a joke: he moaned, came inside his own suit, and let himself fall onto that steel chest.

For a moment the two of them kept silent, breathing hard amid the smell of semen, sweat, blood, and ruined upholstery. Cain liked that silence. He wanted to enjoy it as long as possible.

It didn’t last long.

—A dream come true —murmured Joker, running a hand over his abs—. With these nipples you could nurse an entire herd, man.

And it was all ruined again.

—Get off me, fuck —Cain growled, pulling out with a shove and sending him against the door.

***

And that’s it, degenerates. Worth the wait, wasn’t it?

You have no idea what it’s like to get blasted by Cain himself inside a heap of scrap, and as you’ve no doubt noticed, the skeleton isn’t the only thing he’s got made of metal. You’re probably dying of envy because yours truly got to enjoy that huge beast of a man, those hot muscles slick with sweat, while you’re stuck settling for your imagination and your usual hand.

—I came from pleasure —Joker declared, collapsing again onto Cain’s bare chest.

—Good. Because I don’t do repeats. Especially not with you.

—For the love of... —he sat up, pretending to be offended—. Why do you have to be so closed off? I’m not an object, I have feelings.

—Shut the fuck up already —Cain cut in, and landed a punch that knocked him unconscious—. There. Finally, silence.

Even so, he too was breathing hard, exhausted. He fell asleep beside Joker in the wrecked sedan, on the torn upholstery and broken glass, not caring in the least about the mess.

Someone was watching them from the darkness of the vacant lot.

But that, friends, is another story.