Gay

I came out of the shower wrapped in a towel, knowing my father was alone. That night I wanted to see how far he’d dare go without alcohol.

When he got into the car and smiled at me, I knew we weren’t going to make it anywhere decent that night. It had to be ours, even if it was only on a dirt road among almond trees.

I needed company. Without thinking, I asked him if he wanted to get in with me. What happened next changed everything I thought I knew about myself and my friends.

It was eleven and I couldn’t focus anymore. I opened the app without hope, but thirty minutes later I was walking to his building with a box of condoms in my pocket.

We started with stupid stickers at the end of the shift. Then came the nickname. Then the fantasy. That night he texted that my place was closer, and I couldn’t say no.

When I pushed open the metal door, I expected to find him alone, like always. But under that hanging bulb were four more men, and none of them looked in any hurry.

Four days tied to his bed, twelve thousand euros richer, and a body that no longer resists the same way. The worst part isn’t what he does: it’s what starts shining in my eyes.

At three in the morning, Damián was still sunk into my sofa, shirt soaked with sweat and breathing heavy. And I was no longer thinking about anything else.

I rang his bell with trembling hands. Twenty years older, a declared sadist, no mercy. And me, a virgin, begging him to begin the moment he closed the door.

The receptionist winked at him when he handed over the towel. That gesture was only the beginning: in every room, a different body and a new turn-on waited for him.

I got off the bus hot-headed and tight in my pants. I knew what I was going to the vacant lot for, but not that I’d get fucked three times in a row.

When I reached the clearing, Iker was already waiting, leaning against the rock, with that nervous smile he only ever gave me when we were alone.

When my phone buzzes at four in the morning I know it’s him, that no one else wanted him tonight, and that he’ll pay anything if I show up.

He met my gaze with the note in my pocket, not yet knowing that that same afternoon I’d dial his number and find out how far his offer went.

Diego always turned me on and I avoided him because of my boyfriend. Until that afternoon he took me to the gym sauna and I realized I couldn't keep lying to myself.

I met him at an awards show neither of us wanted to be at. I gave him a light in the back hallway and, without knowing it, I gave him everything else too.

The key fell into the water and the back door jammed. Trapped in a square meter, cuffed and half naked, we discovered something neither of us had imagined.

When I opened the door at ten in the morning, I had no idea a favor with an iPhone would end with him moaning on his back in my bed.

I climbed onto the chair in front of the mirror, legs in the air for the photos my girlfriend asked for. I didn’t expect him to walk in, or what came after.

The doorbell rang after midnight and I opened it expecting pizza. It was a stranger with a bottle in his hand and the truth about my wife on his lips.