Gay

I only wanted to watch the sun go down and photograph the sea. Then I heard another bicycle approaching through the sand, and I knew that afternoon wouldn’t end like the others.

The order was simple: kneel. My body obeyed before my mind could resist, and I knew that night would take me past a point of no return.

The rule was simple: when the elevator doors closed, I stopped being a person and became part of his furniture.

I came back from the kitchen naked, cloth in hand, and knew that night there would be nothing left of my pride on the black marble of his living room floor.

That afternoon, with the fan roaring and the house empty, my cousin looked at me differently and said he had something to prove to me. I had no idea how far he'd go.

I checked the time at half past three when I walked into that empty bathroom. I didn’t lock the door. It was the mistake —or the stroke of luck— that changed forever what I thought I knew about myself.

The arm resting across his abdomen wasn’t his girlfriend’s. It was heavy, warm, and masculine. And Bruno couldn’t remember a thing about the night before.

He sat right beside me even though the theater was nearly empty. His knee touched mine and didn't move away. Then his mouth found my ear, and I knew that afternoon belonged to him.

When I opened my eyes in the steam room, he was already looking at me. And I knew exactly who he was, even though I never thought I’d have him that close.

I left the gym with my body still burning and took the dirt track to smoke in peace. I never expected that black car to stop right behind me.

He chose the urinal next to him without thinking. When their eyes met in the mirror, he knew neither of them had gone in just to wash their hands.

Four months alone in the mountains had left him with a hunger no whisky could soothe. That night, behind the inn’s red curtain, three boys knew exactly how to take him in.

On a Friday at ten, the gym was nearly empty and a guy who was loading twice what I was on the bench beside me. One look in the mirror was enough to send everything off the rails.

I’d swum three thousand meters flat out and only wanted hot water on my shoulders. Then he turned beneath the shower beside me, and I knew that afternoon wouldn’t end like the others.

The door has barely closed and already his mouth is finding mine, still with the taste of the night between our teeth. Now the bed is ours alone.

Iván and Nico walked through the door like the penthouse already belonged to them, and before they’d even said hello they’d shoved us against the living room wall.

We crossed the black curtain and the darkness swallowed us: only two red lights, the pulse of techno, and a mattress ringed by shadows already waiting for us.

I recognized his devil’s smile leaning on the bar, with the black towel and red harness, and knew that night the whole sauna would witness what was ours.

When the door shut and swallowed the last of the light, there were only the hands, the mouths, and Mateo’s voice saying that night I was his.

When we went in naked and dripping, the three guys soaping themselves stepped aside without a word and left us the center, as if they knew the night still wasn’t over.