The Day My Boyfriend Stopped Respecting My No

Let me start by introducing myself: my name is Bruno, I’m from a small town in Cáceres, and when what I’m about to tell you happened, I was twenty-one. I come from a very conservative family, the kind with mass on Sunday and silence at the table, so for a long time I repressed who I was and forced myself to date girls. Until one day I got fed up, dropped out of my degree halfway through, and moved to Valencia to live however I pleased.

By the time this story takes place, I’d already been there a year, and six months dating Dani. Let me set the scene: I’d never been with a guy before getting to Valencia, and as you can imagine, it was one of the first things I wanted to explore. I downloaded the apps, went out into the scene, all that. I had no trouble hooking up, and though it’s a bit ugly to say it, I’m not bad-looking at all: average height, dark skin, green eyes, and a body honed by years of sport. But my first experiences were a disaster.

I wanted to take things slowly, and almost all the guys I met were trying to get it in on the first go and made a face when they didn’t manage it. Some even got nasty. And then Dani came along, and that was something else entirely.

Dani is a few years older than me, he’s twenty-eight, and he works as an architect. He’s very attractive, tall, blond, with a short beard and a body built by the gym five days a week. But above all, he’s a good guy: smart, attentive, one of those who asks how your day went and actually listens to the answer. From the start he was different from the pigs I’d run into, because he treated me like a person and not like a hole to unload into.

We met at a party and clicked right away. We talked for hours, and when after kissing I didn’t want to go any further, he didn’t pressure me. We met up a few days later, and that’s how we started seeing each other.

With the others I was embarrassed to admit I had almost no experience, but with Dani I felt safe enough to tell him my story, about my family, and that I needed to go slowly because I still carried a lot of taboos in my head. He was understanding, and so, little by little, I started discovering sex by his side, without rushing and without pressure.

Well, I’m lying. There was one thing that after six months I still didn’t feel ready to do, and it was the most important thing for him: letting him penetrate me.

***

Dani is one hundred percent top. At first he understood perfectly that letting him fuck me cost more than, say, a blowjob. But as the months went by, his frustration became more and more obvious. Half the time we ended up naked in bed he would try to insist, and although he respected my decision, I could feel the disappointment hanging off his face like a shadow.

Once he even tried to do it behind my back, taking advantage of a moment when I let my guard down, and although he only managed to press the tip in, it hurt like hell because I was clenched up tight as a drum. I got really angry. And the whole thing had me bitter, him too, because on the one hand I was dying to go all the way with Dani, and on the other I couldn’t get rid of that fear. His pressure, far from helping me, made everything worse. And inside me one thought kept gnawing away: that this was going to ruin us.

***

It’s Thursday night and we’ve gone out to dinner. A nice place, one I couldn’t really afford on my own, but Dani is generous and almost always pays. The dinner has been perfect: lots of laughter, complicity, his knee brushing mine under the table.

He has to work the next day, so we can’t drag it out too long, and when we leave he asks if I’m going back with him or if I want to get a taxi home. I feel a little dizzy thinking about what might happen, but I also want to be with him in a more intimate way, so I tell him I’m going to his place.

As soon as we walk through the door he throws himself at me kissing me and I at him, and we stumble toward the bedroom while tearing each other’s clothes off. In a matter of seconds we’re naked in bed, him on top, kissing my neck, and me with both cocks in my hand, jerking off at the same time.

But I know he’s very turned on and that tonight he won’t be satisfied with a handjob. So I push him onto his back, settle over him, and start working over his body the way I know he likes. I stop at his pecs, lick his nipples for a while, move down over his abs and reach his cock, hard as a rock, and I dive in to suck him off. It’s not to brag, but over these months I’ve learned how to do it well, and I go all in.

From time to time I look up to meet his eyes, because I know that drives him wild.

—Mmm, you’re being so good tonight —he says with that cocky grin, the kind of guy who knows he’s in control, which turns me on so much.

I nod like a good boy while he strokes my face.

—Want to be even better? Get on all fours.

There I stop the blowjob dead, because I can smell that we’re going to start again.

—Relax —he says—, I just want to see your ass. I’m not going to do anything you don’t want.

I stop sucking him and obey, though not without a certain unease fluttering in my stomach.

—Fuck, what a gorgeous ass you’ve got, Bruno —and he lands a hard smack on my cheek, one of those that leaves a mark, which turns me on and turns him on even more.

Then he goes to work eating me out. Normally he doesn’t do it, even though I love it, but he says that when he eats an ass he does it as foreplay, before putting it in. I’m so horny I let myself be carried along, savoring the feel of his tongue working my hole.

After a while he makes me lie face down and pulls my cheeks apart with both hands.

—You make me so hard —he says in a rough voice, and spits on my asshole before positioning himself over me, his cock resting right at the entrance.

That’s when I really start to worry.

—Dani, seriously, I don’t want to.

—Don’t worry, I’m just going to rub a little —he answers while he slides his cock between my cheeks and kisses the back of my neck.

On the one hand I’m still tense, but on the other what he’s doing to me turns me on like crazy, so I trust him. I relax. A huge mistake. Because the moment I let my guard down I feel him start to go in, with no consideration at all, pushing. I stiffen all at once and a hell of a pain shoots up my whole back.

What a fucking bastard.

—Dani, pull it out now, for fuck’s sake! —I snap at him, furious.

But right now all he cares about is getting it in hot, and being on top of me, bigger and stronger, I can’t do a thing to get him off me. I’m completely at his mercy, and that feeling scares me more than the pain.

—Come on, just the tip. Your ass is just too hot —he says without stopping pushing.

I’m having a terrible time, to the point that tears start streaming down my face. It’s then, when he notices, that he finally pulls it out, reluctantly, as if I were ruining his night.

My first instinct is to roll over and put my ass out of harm’s way. My second is to give him a proper telling-off. But before I can say a word he’s on top of me again, grabbing my head so I’ll suck him off, or rather so he can fuck my mouth without mercy. Luckily he’s so close to the edge he comes almost immediately, because otherwise I think I would have choked, and I swallow everything as if I had any choice.

***

When he lets me go I suck in a sharp breath and go to the bathroom to rinse out my mouth. When I come back to the bedroom, my blood is still boiling, and finding him sprawled on the bed, half asleep, as if nothing had happened, doesn’t help.

—Do you think what you just did is normal? —I spit at him while shaking him a little to wake him up.

—I got carried away, sorry —he answers without much conviction, and that only makes me even angrier.

—You almost raped me!

—Come on, Bruno, don’t exaggerate. I got carried away and I pulled out right away. And if I got carried away, it’s because I’ve spent months on blowjobs and I’m dying to fuck you. But I can see things aren’t moving forward.

His words hit me like a bucket of cold water, and I think it shows on my face, because his expression changes instantly.

—Look, I’m really tired and I have to get up early tomorrow. Better we talk about this another day, okay? I’ll call you a taxi.

I’m seething, and honestly I don’t want to stay the night either, but being thrown out like that, just like that, after he’s come in my mouth, feels like a kick in the teeth. So I get dressed without saying a word and go downstairs to wait in the street.

Dani gives me a goodbye kiss and I act cold as ice, which makes him put on his usual “what I have to put up with” face, and I have to restrain myself from kicking him where it would hurt most.

The taxi takes forever. And while I wait, leaning against the façade of his building with my phone in my hand and a knot in my throat, I can’t stop turning over the same thing in my head: that I loved that guy, that I really loved him, and that even so that night he had shown me something I was never going to be able to forget.

In the end, it seems it’s true that all men are pigs.

To be continued…