The Neighbor at the End of the Hall Knew My Secret

There are desires one pushes to the back for years, until one ordinary afternoon they slip loose on their own and there’s no way to put them away again. That was what happened to Damián.

Damián was nineteen and had the orderly life of any neighborhood kid: friends, street soccer, hours wasted in front of the console. But there was something else, something that only appeared when he was alone, and that was the persistent curiosity about being with another man. He had always had it, though he managed not to look it in the face.

It wasn’t as if he lacked opportunities with girls. He was five foot seven, had fine features, dark hair worn long and always tied back in a little ponytail, and a body honed by all the sports he played without ever becoming muscular. He was attractive, and he knew it. But that other thing he only allowed himself in the privacy of his room, with some video in the dark, always imagining the same role: the younger one, the one who let himself be led by someone with more experience.

That January afternoon he was playing a match with the usual guys when a ball came straight into his face.

—Damián, are you okay? —they asked when they saw him cover his nose.

—Yeah, yeah —he replied, while a thin line of blood ran between his fingers.

He tilted his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was nothing new: any hit made him bleed, he’d had that since he was a kid. He tried to keep playing, but this time the bleeding wouldn’t stop.

—I’m going home, guys, this won’t stop.

He walked the three blocks to his building with his head thrown back, trying not to stain his T-shirt any more.

—Again? —said Aníbal, the doorman, opening the door for him.

—Classic, Aníbal. I’m sick of it already.

He pressed the elevator button and heard the doorman greet someone coming in behind him.

—Esteban, good afternoon.

—Good afternoon, Aníbal, thank you.

Esteban lived on the same floor as Damián, in the apartment at the end of the hall. He was a man about thirty-five, skinny, with careful manners, and the subject of all kinds of stories in the building. That he liked young boys. That he threw get-togethers at his place with them. But no one had ever actually proven anything: there was never any strange noise at his door, they never saw him come in with anyone, and with the neighbors he was always the most correct guy in the world. Even so, all the parents in the building had warned their children to be careful, not to accept any invitations.

—Uh, what happened to you? —Esteban asked when he got to the elevator.

—Nothing serious. A ball to the face and this nose that bleeds at the slightest thing.

The doors opened. Damián got in first and Esteban pressed nine.

—And this happens to you all the time?

—All the time. I’m sure it’ll stop soon, anyway I need to change.

—Yeah, you’re all bloodied up —he said, and laughed softly.

They got to the floor and got out together.

—Bye, get better —Esteban said as he walked toward his door.

—Thanks —Damián answered, searching his pocket for the keys.

Fuck, I lost them.

He checked both pockets with no luck, and when he realized they really weren’t there, he kicked the door in frustration. The blow echoed through the whole hall.

Esteban’s door opened again.

—Are you okay?

—Yeah, sorry. I lost my keys and no one gets home for another two hours.

—That sucks. Want to come in and I’ll give you some cotton for your nose and you can clean up a little?

—No, thanks, it’s not necessary —he answered quickly, remembering everything people said.

—You can’t stay like that. Come in, clean up, and then you can go. At least you won’t be walking around with your whole face covered in blood.

—All right, sure —Damián gave in, hesitating, but with a spark inside him pushing him to shake off his doubts about that man.

***

Esteban took him straight to the bathroom. He grabbed some cotton, squeezed it into a little plug, and handed it over so he could put it in his nose.

—With this it should stop for sure. I’m glad you came in, I know people don’t speak very well of me.

Damián stayed quiet, not knowing what to say.

—No need to say anything, I know what they whisper. It’s nothing. Your name’s Damián, right?

—Yeah.

—And what do you think of me? —he asked, staring at him.

—Nothing, it’s all good —he answered, half stammering.

—Relax, I was teasing you —Esteban laughed—. Look, why don’t you take a shower and clean yourself up properly? I’ll lend you a towel and some clothes, and meanwhile I’ll wash yours. In half an hour you’ll have them ready.

—No, really, it’s not necessary.

—I insist. Here.

He tossed him a towel. Damián caught it by reflex and, before he could say anything else, Esteban was already closing the door from the outside.

—Shower in peace, I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.

Damián sat for a few minutes on the edge of the tub, going over everything they’d told him about that man. But that same spark from before won out again. He undressed, left his clothes on the floor, and stepped under the water. He soaped himself, washed off the traces of blood, and let the heat distract him for a while. Esteban’s voice brought him back as he came into the bathroom.

—Keep at it, I’m taking your dirty clothes and I’ll leave these here for you.

Damián, surprised, turned to cover himself, and in the movement he accidentally offered a full view of his back and ass. Esteban lingered for a second looking, met his eyes, and left with the hint of a smile, without saying a word.

Once again, Damián felt a strange excitement running through his body. He could tell something had been lit in that exchange of glances, though he was still fighting with his own head. It didn’t take long for him to realize he was hard, and that only turned him on more. He thought about masturbating, even started to, but stopped and decided it was time to get out.

He towel-dried his hair halfway and left it loose. He took the clothes Esteban had left him and got dressed. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he barely recognized himself. It was a tiny pair of shorts, actually for a woman, though at the time he didn’t register that and simply thought they were too small, and a thin-strapped tank top, tight across the chest. He felt strange, but something ran through him and gave him goose bumps. He felt sexy, like the guys in the videos he watched in secret.

He went out, following the sound of the washing machine, to the kitchen.

—I think these shorts are too small for me —he said when he walked in.

—Oh, sorry. It’ll only be a minute, I’m already washing yours. Want a drink?

—Got soda?

—Of course, I’ll pour you some.

Esteban went to the fridge, passing very close to him. Bottle in hand, he pointed to a high shelf.

—Can you get me a glass from up there?

Damián got on tiptoe, stretched his arm, and still couldn’t reach. Then he felt two hands taking him by the waist from behind. Esteban, smiling, held him with one hand while reaching for the glass with the other.

—I’ve got you.

A shiver ran through him from head to toe. He felt a hard bulge pressed against his ass, separated only by the thin fabric of the shorts. The sensation seemed enormous to him, and he didn’t know how to react: he froze, as hard as the erection he was already carrying and which now was visible under the fabric.

—Here you go —Esteban said, already seated, pouring him the soda.

Damián took a long drink. Then he gathered courage from his stomach and blurted out the question.

—So is what they say about you true?

Esteban looked at him in surprise, but immediately smiled.

—What, that I like boys like you?

Damián didn’t know where to put himself. Esteban stood in front of him, very close, and spoke almost in a whisper.

—And I think you like guys like me. Or at least that’s what your friend down there says.

He let his gaze graze Damián’s crotch. Damián still couldn’t speak, hard, looking up at him. Then Esteban took his neck gently and went for his mouth. Shy at first, he gave himself over to the kiss, and the intensity slowly grew. Esteban’s tongue explored him hungrily while his hands kneaded his ass, alternating soft squeezes with firmer ones, without separating for even a second.

Minutes passed that seemed eternal. Esteban pulled back to catch his breath.

—If you want me to stop, tell me now. If not, I’m going to make you mine, which is what you’re dying for.

Damián couldn’t handle the excitement. It was his first time, he was suddenly living everything he’d forbidden himself for years. No words came out: he only looked at him hard, wanting him to continue, with no strength to say it aloud.

—I’ll take that silence as a “no” —Esteban said, and kissed him again.

This time he moved to his neck, biting him slowly, and Damián couldn’t hold back a moan.

—That’s what I like, knowing you’re enjoying it —he whispered in his ear—. You’re all mine.

He nibbled on his earlobe. In a new burst of courage, Damián brought his hand to the other man’s crotch.

—Go on, don’t be shy. Grab it, it’s yours —Esteban said, pulling down his pants.

Damián took it. It felt huge. He had seen plenty in videos, but it was the first time he had one in his hand. He started an awkward handjob and could feel it growing between his fingers.

—I want you to suck it.

—Okay —he managed to say—, but I’ve never done it before.

—Don’t worry, I’ll guide you.

Esteban sat down in the chair and arranged him in front of him.

—Like a lollipop. Slowly, and watch your teeth.

Damián leaned in and took it into his mouth. To his surprise, he didn’t find the taste unpleasant, and soon he was going up and down, taking it all in. It came easily to him, almost as if he’d done it before.

—Are you sure this is your first time? —Esteban asked, puzzled.

Damián nodded without taking it out of his mouth.

—Let’s see how much you can take —the other said, taking him by the hair and pushing a little deeper.

Damián gagged and pulled away, coughing.

—I can’t, it’s too much.

—You did great. Open again, slowly, little by little you’ll be able to take more.

And so he did, gaining confidence with each attempt, until between strands of saliva he had to pull away to catch his breath.

—I can’t believe how good you are —Esteban said—. Time to return the favor.

He turned him around and pressed him back against the counter, hands on the cold surface. He bent down, pulled down his shorts, and spread his cheeks with his hands. He didn’t need to play much with his tongue to bring out the first sighs.

—Uff —Damián panted, arching his back.

—I knew you’d like it.

Esteban wasn’t in any hurry. He kissed him, licked him, ran over every fold calmly, determined to savor him completely. Damián was surrendered, and without realizing it he started stroking himself while the other kept going from behind.

—I want to fuck you —Esteban blurted, still buried between his cheeks.

—I’d like that, but I’m a little scared.

He wasn’t lying: he wanted it, but he had never experienced anything like this.

—I’ll take care of you, I promise. You’re going to love it.

He lifted him up and kissed him, this time softly, to give him the confidence he needed. They went to the bedroom while finishing undressing along the way. Esteban laid him on the bed and settled on top of him, and Damián wrapped his legs around his waist. They melted into a long kiss and then Esteban went down his neck, chest, abdomen, tracing him all over with his tongue while Damián, eyes closed, let himself drift.

—Stay like that —he said, and reached to the nightstand to take out the lube—. Have you ever put your fingers in yourself?

—Yeah, sometimes, in the shower.

He put lube on his fingers and guided him to start with one and then continue with two. Damián obeyed, and with the help of the lubricant they went in without effort.

—You look so beautiful like this —Esteban said, kneeling in front of him, stroking himself.

He couldn’t hold out much longer.

—Now then. Let me make love to you.

Damián looked at him, with that mix of desire and fear, but determined. Esteban got into position, guided his penis with his hand, and went in very slowly, expertly leading him: take a deep breath, relax, stroking him at the same time. Without even realizing it, at one point he was all the way inside him.

—That’s it. Breathe easy, I’m going to start very slowly.

—Slowly, please —Damián begged.

—Relax, you’re going to love it.

He started to pull almost all the way out and go back in, even slower, until Damián’s body accepted him without tension.

—Ah, it hurts a little. Gently.

—Shh, relax. Focus on enjoying it.

He kept the pace slow, and when he noticed the other starting to loosen up and enjoy it, he increased the intensity. He put Damián’s legs on his shoulders, sped up, and the sound of bodies colliding began to fill the room. Damián was already enjoying it; he said nothing, but his face said it all.

—Do you like it? —Esteban asked, wanting him to let go.

—Yeah, keep going —he answered in a very low voice.

—You’re beautiful. I’m going to make you mine.

He kept going for a while longer until he felt himself getting close. But he wanted more: more time, more positions, more of everything. He pulled out without warning.

—Did something happen? —Damián asked, surprised.

—No, relax. Turn over.

Damián ended up face down. Esteban put a pillow under his stomach to lift his hips and went back in with a single thrust, kissing his neck as he resumed the rocking motion.

—Are you enjoying it?

—Yeah, I like it.

—I want you to lose that shame. What would you like me to do to you?

Damián closed his eyes and imagined himself in his room, in front of the screen, going over what turned him on most. And he remembered when he got most excited, when he slapped himself and looked at the mark of his hand on his skin.

—I want you to spank me.

—How? —Esteban replied, surprised, but smiling.

—A spank. I like it.

—Whatever you want.

He lifted him up until he was on all fours and, without letting go of his waist, gave him a soft smack.

—Like that?

—Yeah. Another one.

The second one was firmer, just as he resumed the rocking. He took him with both hands and increased the pace. Damián was panting: he had hit the exact spot and the sensation was ecstasy. Esteban let go of one hand from his waist, grabbed him by the hair, and pushed harder and harder. Sweat ran down both bodies and the sound of the blows filled the room.

—Ahh… ahh —Damián cried out.

A final spank echoed through the whole room, and he panted harder. Esteban sped up until the tingling warned him again.

—I’m coming, I’m coming…

Damián felt a hot liquid flooding him from inside, shot after shot.

—What an orgasm —Esteban murmured, exhausted.

Damián lay still on the bed. Only then was he starting to come down from what he had just done. He had enjoyed it like never before, but the idea also hit him that he had crossed a line, something forbidden, something he was supposed not to feel.

Esteban noticed the change in his face.

—Are you okay? I see you haven’t finished yet. Let me fix that.

He turned him onto his back at the edge of the bed and took Damián’s still-hard member into his mouth. He swallowed it whole. Damián forgot everything again and gave himself over. It didn’t take much for him to feel himself coming.

—Ah, I’m coming —he managed to say.

Esteban didn’t pull away. He kept going until Damián finished in his mouth, showed him the result, and swallowed it all.

—Mmm. Delicious.

Damián looked at him in amazement, as if he were inside a movie. He got up to go to the bathroom and, passing in front of the shelving unit, noticed a small red light blinking among the books.

—Is that a camera? —he asked, his voice breaking—. Was everything recorded?