Hotel

I had spent thirty years closing projects for the company. On my farewell trip, I never imagined the woman traveling beside me would be the one to say goodbye to me in a different way.

I’d been unsatisfied all night when the phone rang. It was him, and what he suggested made me say yes before I finished my coffee.

We’d been neighbors for years and barely exchanged a hallway hello. That night, when I put my sweater over her shoulders, I knew we were done pretending.

He slipped a scrap of paper into my hand as he cleared the plate. I read it in the room: it was his number. And I knew I wouldn’t be alone that night.

I’ve never done it, but I know every detail: the café, the elevator, his hands. This is the fantasy that repeats and that I never dare say out loud.

At six in the morning, with a plate of tacos in my hand, I decided to sit at the table of two strangers who had been watching me for a while.

He shut the room door with all my clothes in his hands and left me on my knees, naked, with one order: “I’ll wait for you in the car.”

I was sweaty and breathless when his voice reached me from behind. He didn’t want to take me to dinner: he wanted to buy my whole night, and I wanted to be bought.

“I want you to give her what my mother never had,” she said with a smile. And when I saw that mature woman, I knew I wasn’t going to say no.

I’d gone almost two years without touching anyone when I saw her step off the minibus with that smile. I promised myself that before I flew home, that mouth would be mine.

—Marina, you won’t believe this: I went in to clean the room and there was a couple in the bed. And I just stood there watching from the doorway, unable to move.

I learned early that my body was worth more than any degree. What none of them knew is that I never felt a thing while they paid me.

I put on the white apron and the little cap, did my makeup like a slut, and called him to let him know the room was ready. We had the rest memorized.

I had just come out of the shower when I saw her message on the screen. She wasn’t what I was looking for, but her photo changed my plans that very afternoon.

When he put my hand on his crotch while driving, I knew there was no going back. That night I stopped pretending and gave myself to him completely.

I went down to the garden looking for her and found her behind the glass, seated in the chair, with her assistant kissing her eyelids as if I didn’t exist.

I asked for the room and turned off the lights so she could take care of me like never before. Until my hand found something between her legs I’d never imagined.

No one knew my truth. I went to the matches just to watch his legs, until that afternoon he looked up and held my gaze as if he knew everything.

I knocked a thousand times and nobody opened. When reception let me in, I found suitcases that weren’t mine under the bed and an unmistakable smell.

I pressed send and left my phone facedown. I wasn’t expecting a reply that night. When he answered, I knew there was no turning back.