In Public

“Just the first three levels,” I promised him on the plane. Neither of us imagined how far that book of challenges would take us before we came home.

I told them my comfort was more effective than any cold drink. I took off my clothes before going in and waited for the hot water to betray me in the steam.

We came home from the cinema freezing cold, but the moment the elevator doors closed I knew we weren’t going straight to bed that night.

When the stall door opened a few inches, I knew Nuria was letting me look on purpose. What I couldn’t have imagined was how the night would end.

I’d wanted it all summer and never dared. That afternoon, with the pool silent and no one nearby, Adrián jumped in naked and looked at me from the middle.

I only wanted to watch the sun go down and photograph the sea. Then I heard another bicycle approaching through the sand, and I knew that afternoon wouldn’t end like the others.

I checked the time at half past three when I walked into that empty bathroom. I didn’t lock the door. It was the mistake —or the stroke of luck— that changed forever what I thought I knew about myself.

He sat right beside me even though the theater was nearly empty. His knee touched mine and didn't move away. Then his mouth found my ear, and I knew that afternoon belonged to him.

When I opened my eyes in the steam room, he was already looking at me. And I knew exactly who he was, even though I never thought I’d have him that close.

I left the gym with my body still burning and took the dirt track to smoke in peace. I never expected that black car to stop right behind me.

He chose the urinal next to him without thinking. When their eyes met in the mirror, he knew neither of them had gone in just to wash their hands.

I’d swum three thousand meters flat out and only wanted hot water on my shoulders. Then he turned beneath the shower beside me, and I knew that afternoon wouldn’t end like the others.

We crossed the black curtain and the darkness swallowed us: only two red lights, the pulse of techno, and a mattress ringed by shadows already waiting for us.

I recognized his devil’s smile leaning on the bar, with the black towel and red harness, and knew that night the whole sauna would witness what was ours.

When the door shut and swallowed the last of the light, there were only the hands, the mouths, and Mateo’s voice saying that night I was his.

When we went in naked and dripping, the three guys soaping themselves stepped aside without a word and left us the center, as if they knew the night still wasn’t over.

We came out of the showers wrapped in short towels, shaking with cold. In the jacuzzi, two strangers were waiting for us, smiling like they had just found dinner.

I lay naked under the last September sun, offering my body to anyone who wanted to look. Then the only man I thought I’d never see again appeared.

He had a girlfriend and acted tough, but that night, locked inside the bathroom stall, he was the one who grabbed my neck and asked me to suck him properly.

He thought he was alone under the water, until an arm circled his neck from behind and a rough voice whispered in his ear what was already obvious.