Lesbian

I’d never thought about Nora that way—until she brushed against me in the bar and I understood, from her smile, that she’d been thinking about it for a long time.

I thought I was alone correcting my texts, until her hand settled on my leg and I realized the break was going to last much longer than expected.

Mara covered her friend’s eyes and asked for silence. What she did next with her tongue crossed the line forever.

She had trained for five years and never competed. On that last afternoon, when her coach straddled her, she knew it wasn’t nerves making her shake.

The light barely came through the blinds, she was still asleep, and all I could think about was one thing: losing myself between her legs before she opened her eyes.

I’m writing this knowing you’re going to read it, even if you pretend you didn’t. And knowing, too, the exact way your body used to respond when you thought no one was watching.

I didn’t take my eyes off her when she came to the bed. I knew what was about to happen shouldn’t happen, and still I let her sit on my lap.

We were tousled and makeup-free when Daniela reminded me of that time. I didn’t imagine that, before nightfall, they’d be watching us from the half-open door.

We were two girlfriends going away to unwind and ended up in the bed of two strangers. By then none of the four hands knew whose body was whose.

We were alone in the sand, naked and turned on, when I discovered two young men spying on us from the rocks. Romina just asked if I wanted to keep going.

That morning I opened the envelope expecting a phone number. I found ten thousand euros and a three-word note that shattered me completely.

I walked out of the shower thinking no one had seen us. That same night I found on his phone that someone had recorded every moan from the next cubicle.

She ordered me to take off my clothes, and I let her hands adjust every cable against my skin. When I started getting wet, I knew there was no turning back.

She’d been in all afternoon when she walked in. I knelt to fit her with a heel, and with her bare foot in my hands, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop.

I always thought there was nothing dirtier than feet. That night, barefoot and nervous in my friend’s bed, I found out how wrong I was.

When the elevator doors closed, nobody was pretending anymore. Marina found my hand and guided it under her skirt while you kissed me without taking your eyes off them.

I had never told anyone that my body wouldn’t respond. I confessed it to her, my mother’s friend, never imagining she would end up teaching me everything I was missing.

I’m shy with almost everyone, except my husband. That’s why I was so surprised to want that stranger who sat down in front of me, as if she’d been waiting for months.

I crossed the threshold without underwear, just as she had ordered. What I didn’t know was that on the other side of the door, a face I knew far too well was waiting for me.

In the bathroom, a makeup bag was waiting for me with a note: “put everything on and turn it on.” From that moment on, I stopped deciding what happened to my own body.