The Bali Travel Guide Made Me Lose Control

I don’t know if I should tell this story. I still can’t quite believe how things turned out and, although I swore I’d take it to my grave, just remembering it is enough to feel the heat rising inside me again. I need to get it out somehow. I need to unload.

My name is Carla, I’m thirty-one, and I’m openly lesbian. I’m very feminine, and believe me, that has brought me more than one headache with women. My type is feminine women too, and there’s the tragedy: fems almost always like masc women, or at least they look for that energy, even if the other woman is delicate. I don’t work that way.

I’m softer than ice cream in the sun, that’s true. But my softness ends at the bedroom door. Being feminine doesn’t mean being passive. In my humble opinion, there’s nothing hotter in this world than seeing a woman begging to be fucked until she comes. The problem is they almost never find that out, because they stop at appearances. And since I’m not one to make the first move either, it all came down to one thing: I’d been on an almost two-year absolute dry spell.

That changed completely last month, on my trip to Bali.

***

The moment I saw her, my mind went to work looking for a way to win her over. I had promised myself that on this trip I’d be bolder. I was hoping for opportunities, because on the island they’re pretty open with everyone, but I never thought I’d fall so fast.

Indira, the guide assigned to our group, was the most beautiful thing my eyes had ever seen. Straight black hair down to her waist, a shy smile, a tiny waist, and a pair of breasts that looked as if they’d been drawn on purpose to drive me crazy. She was the exact definition of the woman of my wet dreams. When she introduced herself, her accent as she spoke Spanish seemed like the cutest thing on the planet.

I have so many plans for that mouth of yours, I thought while she explained the itinerary to us.

I only had one week. So, to work.

***

It goes without saying that I didn’t leave her side. Every morning I greeted her with a kiss and a hug, stealing a little of that vanilla perfume she wore on her skin. At every opportunity I asked about her tastes, what she did in her free time, about her life. By the third day I already felt close to her in a way that scared me a little.

It became our routine to meet every afternoon at a café next to the hotel. The conversations flowed naturally, without effort. We had told each other almost our entire lives.

—It’s funny how, no matter the continent, men are unfaithful everywhere —Indira said, stirring her coffee.

—Don’t think we’re that different on this side of the world —I replied, laughing.

—It’ll never be the same.

—And have you tried? —I asked, testing the waters.

—Tried what? Being with a woman?

—Yes. That.

—I’ve had my experiences. Nothing long-term. They’re very complicated —she said, smiling crookedly.

—I’m not complicated —I shot back, giving her the most flirtatious look I had in reserve.

—That’s what they all say. I’d have to check for myself.

—Are you free tonight? —I asked, completely serious.

She burst out laughing. When she saw I didn’t move a single muscle in my face, she stopped dead.

—Sorry, I thought you were joking —she said, suddenly flustered.

—It’s only a joke if you want it to be —I replied, putting my hand over hers.

There were a couple of seconds when everything went silent. She looked me up and down and something in her expression changed. I dare say that was the first time she saw me as more than a friendly tourist.

—There’s a women-only event tonight, from eight to ten, at a club downtown. Do you want to come with me?

—It would be my pleasure —I answered, unable to hide the excitement in my voice.

***

That night I wore a short black dress with thin straps, tight to my body. Heels and my hair down. I took my time with my makeup: nothing over the top, but eye-catching. When I looked in the mirror, my heart sped up. God, I look good. If this doesn’t get her, I’m changing my name.

When we got to the club, my nerves started working against me. Waiting was driving me crazy, so I ordered a drink to calm myself. It didn’t help, because the moment I saw her I felt my blood pressure drop. Indira was wearing a pastel pink top and skirt set with a subtle sheen that highlighted every curve she had. That mix of good girl and dangerous woman made everything between my legs react, throbbing, getting wet. I don’t know how, but I had to restrain myself from jumping her right there.

Time was moving too fast for my taste. Between drinks and that look of hers stripping me little by little, I could feel my body temperature shooting through the roof.

—What? What did you say? —I shouted over the music.

—I asked if you’re having a good time —she repeated, leaning toward my ear.

—It’s just that the music won’t let me hear. But yes, I couldn’t be better —I answered in her ear too, holding her by the waist and leaving a quick kiss on her neck.

Her body shuddered beneath my mouth. Her gaze said more than a thousand words.

—Come with me —she murmured, taking my hand to lead me to a more secluded corner.

Without waiting another second, she pounced on me and kissed me. She kissed in a way that undid me. Small bites between kisses, hands that never stayed still: she caressed my thighs, squeezed my waist, sucked on my neck, my earlobes. She was devouring me. My gasps rose, and no matter how much I tried to take the lead, I was completely frozen. My mind went blank. Her skill had my arousal through the roof.

She started making her way down, giving me wet kisses along my thighs, sucking the bare skin, moving up slowly. I was about to collapse. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to feel her hot breath between my legs.

—So no underwear, huh? —she said, looking up at me from below, kneeling.

—It just… didn’t go with the dress —I replied, brokenly.

—What a lame excuse, pretty girl. I love it.

The next thing I felt was her shy little licks on my clit and her fingers playing at my entrance. Little by little she increased the speed, the force of her tongue, her fingers sinking into me, working magic. Not even a minute passed before I exploded in her mouth.

—Aah, no… —I cried, pressing her head against my center with both hands.

—No? —she asked, confused, adjusting my dress.

—Sorry… it’s just… I didn’t last at all. It’s been a long time since I…

—It’s okay, Carla. That’s not a bad thing —she said, kissing my cheek.

I only sighed. My name coming out of that mouth that smelled like me was addictive. All at once I became aware of the music playing in the distance, and embarrassment came crashing down on me.

—Do you want to go somewhere quieter? —she offered, noticing my discomfort.

—A little walk would be nice —I thanked her.

On the way back, the mood turned light again. Hand in hand, we joked like nothing had happened. We said goodnight with one last intense kiss at my room door. I thought about inviting her in, but remembered that at six in the morning we had a diving tour and held back.

—Good night, pretty girl.

—Sleep well, Indira.

—After what just happened, I don’t think I’ll be able to. But I’ll try.

***

It was hard to sleep. I was amazed at how much control I’d lost. Indira had taken the reins and I hadn’t been able to resist for a second. I had to regain control of the situation. I wasn’t like this.

The trip to the small island in the south was spectacular. Beaches of impossible blue, local food on every corner, a thousand activities. But I felt Indira far away: she was rushing from one place to another, looking after everyone, making sure every detail was in order. I needed her all to myself.

That night I invited her to dinner, intending for it to end up in my room. Just as I had planned, it worked. Once inside, this time I was the one who took the initiative. I kissed her for a good while while I grabbed her breasts and squeezed them again and again. Her gasps were rough, and they turned sharper when I started circling her nipples with my tongue, sucking them slowly.

I lowered my hand to undo her shorts, but she stopped me dead. She threw me onto the bed, held my wrists above my head, and started kissing me fiercely. She undressed me little by little, caressing every inch of my skin. This time her licks between my legs weren’t shy: they were hungry laps. I started trembling uncontrollably, my legs going weak. It was a power struggle I had no guarantee of winning.

—Let me taste you —I begged.

—Wait. Not yet.

—Let me touch you.

—Just enjoy what I’m doing to you, pretty girl.

—Are you one of those who don’t let anyone touch them? —I asked, already resigned to my bad luck.

—No. It’s not that.

To me, that was green light. I straddled her and, without giving her time to react, pulled down her shorts. And I froze at what I saw.

She… she had a dick.

—But…? You…? —I stammered.

I was speechless. Everything was spinning. How was that possible? Her features were delicate, her body feminine in every last gesture. We had connected like I’d never connected with a man. How had I not noticed?

—Carla, I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner —she murmured, trying to pull her shorts back up.

—Wait. —I put my hand on the zipper, stopping her from closing it.

I don’t know if it was the arousal I was already carrying, or how much I liked the person in front of me, but all my prejudices vanished. I didn’t know what I was doing. I only knew I wanted to do it.

—You’re beautiful —I told her before kissing her.

From there I lost track of my actions. I took her cock and started jerking it slowly, up and down. I felt it grow in my hand, and my God, it was not small at all. I rested the tip of my tongue on the head, licked, and little by little I took it all the way into my mouth, sucking it again and again. I never thought I’d enjoy something like that, but looking up and seeing Indira’s face lit up, her hair mussed, her eyes closed, her mouth parted, moaning without shame… that made no logical sense. And I couldn’t stop anymore.

—Make me yours —I whispered to her.

—Carla, are you sure?

—Please. I need this.

***

I ended up on my back with Indira between my legs. She took my hips, lifted them a little, and started to enter slowly. First the tip, then she filled me little by little.

—If it hurts, tell me to stop, okay?

—Mm-hm —I nodded, feeling my whole body prickle and an unfamiliar heat growing in my belly.

—Ahh… Indira, it feels… it feels so good —I said between moans.

—The one who feels good is you… so hot, so wet.

—Give me more —I pleaded.

She pushed all the way in at once, to the base, and I let out a muffled squeal. Our breasts lined up in such a way that, with every thrust, our nipples rubbed together. It was an experience on another level. After a while we changed positions and this time the control, if it can be called that, was mine. I rode her like it was the end of the world, moving my hips in circles, side to side, forward, or just bouncing on her with frenzy. The wet sounds and our moans echoed all over the room.

—You’re so beautiful, Carla… I didn’t think you’d like it this much —she panted.

—Me neither, believe me —I replied, grabbing her breasts and intensifying the motion.

I was on the edge of the abyss, with nothing that could stop me.

—Carla, wait, if you keep going I’m going to finish… wait —she cried, breathless, holding my hips.

I didn’t listen. I moved even harder.

—Ahh… yes —I shouted.

—Yes… —she moaned.

Our moans in unison, overflowing, full of release, consumed us both at once. I collapsed onto her chest and stayed still for a few minutes, listening to her heart pounding as hard as mine.

***

During the few days that were left, there wasn’t a single one in which I didn’t explore this new discovery about my sexuality, always with the necessary care.

Right now my head is a mess. Should I stay in touch with her? Or should I forget what happened and look for a girl who makes me forget her? If only it were as easy as it sounds.