The Expedition Where I Fell in Love With Her

The commander’s voice came from the corridor with the calm authority of men accustomed to being obeyed without having to raise their tone. Vera pulled away from Sofía in a fraction of a second, but the distance she put between the two bodies wasn’t enough to erase what was in the air: the heat, the broken silence, two breaths that still hadn’t finished finding the same rhythm.

—Doctor Vera… —Commander Marcos Salcedo’s voice cut through the air of the small onboard laboratory—. I need to speak with you.

Vera found a clipboard on the nearest shelf and gripped it with a firmness she didn’t feel. She turned to Sofía with a quick, almost telegraphic look, and handed her a work coat without saying a word. Sofía took it, slipped it on with slightly clumsy hands, and climbed onto the examination table, trying to look like what she was not.

Vera opened the door.

Marcos Salcedo was a man of about fifty-five, broad-shouldered and with hair more gray than brown, who wore the expedition uniform with the same natural ease others wore a Sunday suit. That afternoon there was something different in his posture: more cautious than usual, more restrained. He invited himself in with a gesture.

—Sorry to intrude. —He swept the small compartment with his gaze, and paused a moment longer than necessary when he found his daughter reclined on the table—. I’m glad you’re both here. It’ll be quicker this way.

—How can we help you, Commander? —Vera asked, trying to keep the neutral tone of someone with a clear conscience.

—I appreciate the effort —he replied, with a mild irony that was not hostile—. Very convincing. —He looked at his daughter with an expression she knew well. Sofía frowned. Marcos shrugged—. But it would be better if we spoke without formalities.

—I don’t understand what you mean —Vera tried.

—You’ve been discreet, that much I’ll give you. The problem is that on a research ship this size, privacy is a luxury that’s hard to maintain.

—Commander… —Sofía began from the table.

—It’s not your fault —Marcos interrupted, raising a conciliatory hand—. The responsibility is mine. I didn’t properly assess the risk when I brought you onto the expedition.

Vera looked at him in confusion.

—Does that mean it was deliberate?

—We’re alone. You can call me Marcos. Or “Capi,” like my daughter does when nobody’s listening. —He paused—. Can you ask me something in confidence?

—Of course.

—Why did you imply that you had my approval? Why did you let this start if you knew the trouble it could bring?

He moved closer to the table and sat beside Sofía. He put an arm around her waist, slowly, without trying to hide it.

Marcos exhaled slowly. He rubbed the nape of his neck with the palm of his hand, as if he wanted to sort out his thoughts before letting them out.

—Honestly... I thought that by the time we reached the Azores, the institute would already have found someone with more experience for this position and that in a few days you’d be back in Gothenburg. I thought it would be brief.

Sofía narrowed her eyes.

—And if you thought I’d only be aboard for a few days... then I understand even less. Why start something that could bring so many problems if you had no intention of letting it last?

—Understand me, my girl. —Marcos looked at her with a tenderness that contrasted with the formal tone he had kept until then—. I’d never seen you like this before. Don’t look at me like that. —Sofía had crossed her arms in a gesture he recognized from when she was twelve—. You’ve had relationships before, I know. You’ve always been discreet, just like now. But this time there’s something different. I can hear it in the inflection of your voice, in your smile, in the way you move around the deck. There’s something in the shine of your eyes that has nothing to do with fieldwork. That’s why I decided to step in.

—And what did you expect to happen? —Vera asked—. What were you trying to achieve by bringing us together under those circumstances?

—I wanted you to have time to find out whether what you feel is real or just a passing attraction. —He paused—. And I wanted it to be more than that.

—Why? —Sofía insisted—. You know it’s complicated. A relationship between the contracted doctor and a permanent member of the expedition creates problems in both directions.

—When this mission is over, Sofía will return to shore for several months. Without institutional hierarchies to complicate things. If what you have develops on solid ground, there will be a real chance at a future without having to hide it. I thought that if the relationship took its own course while you were aboard, you’d reach that moment with something solid in your hands.

—So what do you propose we do now? —Sofía asked, with no intention of separating from Vera at that moment.

—I imagine ending it now would be impossible. —He said it with affectionate irony, watching how they leaned into each other—. The only thing you can do is continue as you have been, be as discreet as possible, and hope that no one comes to me with their suspicions. Fortunately, although they do whisper among themselves, you still haven’t given anyone concrete proof of anything.

—Do you think that will be enough? —Sofía looked at her father with genuine concern.

—I think so. The crew genuinely likes you, and I don’t think any of them has any interest in causing you trouble. —He shrugged—. Can you leave Vera and me alone for a few minutes, darling? Please.

Sofía rolled her eyes. She didn’t like that deceptively sweet tone her father used when he wasn’t really giving her any options, but she knew arguing with him was an exercise in futility. She left them alone.

***

The silence left between Vera and Marcos had a weight of its own. The ship creaked softly with the swell, and somewhere in the corridor footsteps could be heard moving away.

—Good. —The commander looked at the door through which his daughter had left—. Now we can speak seriously, the two of us.

—As if what you’ve said so far wasn’t serious enough, Commander? —The formality returned on its own, without Vera deciding it. It was nerves, she supposed. The instinct to cover herself.

—Yes, it was serious. But there’s something else I’m particularly worried about.

—What is it?

—Listen to me. —Marcos crossed his arms—. She’s my daughter. It doesn’t matter how old she gets or what she achieves. She’ll always be my girl. So I need you to answer me honestly when I ask you this.

—Of course, sir.

—I don’t need Sofía to explain to me how she feels. I know her far too well for that. I don’t know how far this will go between you, but I do know my daughter is falling in love with you. —He looked her straight in the eyes, direct and unwavering—. That’s why I want to know what your intentions are. I know this sounds old-fashioned, paternalistic, and whatever else you want to call it. But I’m not going to sit back if you don’t feel anything serious for her. If this is nothing more than a whim, I advise you to end it before you do any more damage than has already been done. I guarantee you won’t want to know what I’m capable of if…

—Commander. —Vera took two steps toward him, with something that might have looked like shyness but was really the weight of what she was about to say—. May I be honest with you?

—I’d expect nothing less.

—I’m no fortune teller. I don’t know how this will end or whether we’ll have a future. —She paused, exactly as long as it took her to find the right words—. But what I feel for your daughter is real. I’m in love with her. I’ve never felt like this in any previous relationship. And that’s all I can tell you for certain.

—For me, that’s enough.

—Pardon?

—If you truly love her... then I trust everything will work out. —He straightened, recovering the bearing he had on the bridge—. You’ve only got one obstacle ahead of you.

—Which one?

Marcos smiled, and there was something in that smile Vera couldn’t quite decipher. It was unsettling in a way that wasn’t threatening.

—If you think I’m protective of Sofía, wait until you meet her mother. Or her older sister. —He turned on his heel and opened the door—. Good night, Vera.

***

Sofía was in her cabin when Vera knocked. She was sitting on the edge of the bunk with her legs drawn up, her chin resting on her knees and her gaze lost in the painted metal wall. The door opened and Vera came in without saying anything at first. She sat down beside her. Sofía glanced at her out of the corner of her eye.

—He gave you the talk, didn’t he?

—Yes. —Vera let out a short, genuine laugh—. I never imagined I’d experience something like that. A man giving me a lecture about how sweet and delicate his girl is.

—Sorry. —Sofía lowered her eyes—. I’m not really sure why he acts like this. Normally he’s more reserved with my relationships.

—Don’t be sorry. —Vera leaned toward her until their foreheads touched—. Because he’s right about one thing.

—About what?

—That you’re sweet. —Sofía was about to protest, but Vera kept talking—. And you’re strong. And passionate. And determined. —She paused—. And I love you.

The silence that followed lasted barely a second, but it was one of those silences that change the weight of a room.

—Are you sure? —Sofía’s voice had changed. It had become smaller, more vulnerable, as if the question cost her something.

—That you’re all of that? —Vera kissed her slowly, exploring her mouth as if she had all the time in the world. Their lips parted reluctantly, as if neither of them quite wanted to let go of the contact—. Of course. You’re all that and more.

—No... —Sofía hesitated—. That’s not what I meant. Are you sure you love me?

Vera exhaled slowly.

—I don’t know how else to define it. —She searched for the words, looking at her—. Every morning I find myself thinking about you before I even leave the cabin. The way you move your hands when you explain something. The way you laugh when you think no one’s looking. The heat of your skin makes me lose track of whatever I’m doing. Your voice, when you call for me in the corridor, throws me off in a way I can’t explain. —She ran her tongue over her lips—. The way you trust me. The way you give yourself to me. I’m completely caught in you, Sofía. In your strength, in your sweetness, in everything you are.

—Vera…

—And if that isn’t love —Vera said—, then you tell me what it’s called.

Sofía didn’t answer with words. She took the back of Vera’s neck gently, brought her lips to her ear, and whispered:

—Fuck me. Fuck me now, please.

***

The kiss began slowly, exploratory, but it became urgent before either of them could stop it. They had spent too many days holding back something that had nowhere to go in that confined space. Vera’s tongue pushed between Sofía’s lips and found hers, and the two of them began devouring each other’s mouths with hunger, biting at lips, swallowing moans, pressing against each other as if they needed to merge by force. Vera’s hands found Sofía’s shoulders, slid down her back, and pulled her toward her with an intensity that had been building week by week.

Vera laid her down on the bunk carefully. Sofía arched her body toward her as soon as she felt the pressure of Vera’s hands at her waist. Her nipples were already outlined beneath the fabric, hard as stones, and when Vera brushed one through her shirt Sofía let out a rough moan she had to smother by clenching her teeth.

—Ssshhh —Vera whispered against her ear, nibbling her earlobe—. They’ll hear you, my love.

—I don’t care —Sofía panted—. I don’t care at all. Take this off. Take it all off, now.

With fingers a little clumsy from wanting too much, Vera began unbuttoning her shirt button by button, and with every button that gave way she left a wetter kiss lower down: on the collarbone, at the swell of her breasts, on the sternum. She traced a line of kisses along her throat, nibbled softly at the curve of her neck, kept going lower. The fabric finally gave way completely and Vera pushed the shirt aside. Sofía’s breasts were bared, small and firm, with nipples erect and darkened by desire. Vera paused for a moment and looked at her.

Sofía had her eyes closed. Her chest rose and fell quickly. She was biting her lower lip so hard Vera thought she might draw blood.

—Look at me —Vera asked softly—. I want you to look at me while I do it.

Sofía opened her eyes, dark and shining, and didn’t look away.

Vera took one of her nipples between her lips, gently at first, with more pressure after. She licked it in slow circles with the tip of her tongue, then sucked it fully into her mouth, tugging upward until Sofía let out a moan that vibrated in her throat. She ran her teeth over it, very softly, and Sofía arched against her completely. She switched to the other nipple without stopping her caress of the first with two fingers, pinching it, twisting it just enough to hear the trembling whimper that escaped Sofía every time she squeezed a little harder. Sofía held her breath. Vera felt everything: the shiver of her body, the heat of her skin, the way her fingers searched for Vera’s hair as if they needed to hold on to something solid.

—Ssshhh. —Vera lifted her gaze without fully pulling away—. The partition is thin. We have to be discreet.

—I know —Sofía whispered, with a smile Vera didn’t see but did notice in the change in her breathing—. It’s just that if you keep sucking me like that... God, if you keep doing that I’m not going to be able to keep quiet.

—Then bite something. —Vera took a corner of the sheet and put it between her teeth—. Bite this, my girl. And let me work.

Sofía obeyed, eyes misted over, and pressed Vera’s nape to wordlessly ask her to keep going lower. Vera continued. Her lips traced a slow path downward, every curve, every centimeter of warm skin, unhurried. She kissed her ribs one by one, licked her navel, nipped at the soft flesh of her lower belly with a care that was torture. Sofía shivered. Her fingers tangled in Vera’s hair more tightly. The ship creaked softly around them, indifferent to what was happening inside that small, warm cabin.

Vera unfastened her pants without stopping kissing her skin. She pulled them down to her knees along with her panties, and Sofía let out a gasp when the cool cabin air touched her soaked cunt. Vera paused for a moment to look at her: Sofía’s pussy glistened with moisture, the lips swollen, the clit already peeking between them, visibly throbbing. She spread her thighs with both hands and settled herself between her legs.

—Can I ask you something? —Vera murmured against the inner side of her thigh, so close Sofía felt her breath on her cunt.

—Now... —Sofía gasped, spitting out the sheet for a second—. You want to talk now?

—Just one thing.

—Fine. One. But for the love of God, while you talk don’t stop… —A wet kiss right beside the lips of her cunt cut her off—. Fuck…

—Do you love me?

The silence lasted only an instant, exactly the time it takes someone to decide whether they’re going to lie to themselves or not.

—Yes —Sofía said, in a voice with not a trace of doubt—. I love you. I’ve spent weeks trying not to tell you. And now, please, don’t stop. Eat me. Eat me whole, Vera.

Vera didn’t stop. She lowered her head and dragged her tongue along Sofía’s cunt, bottom to top, in a slow, broad lick that drew a long moan from Sofía, which she had to bite back against the sheet. She licked her again, and again, tasting the thick, sweet fluid that stained her mouth and chin. She parted the lips of Sofía’s cunt with two fingers and sank her tongue between them, searching for every fold, every sensitive spot, every corner swollen by desire. Sofía clutched the sheet with one hand and Vera’s hair with the other, tugging without realizing it every time the tongue brushed her clit.

Vera closed her lips around that hard, throbbing point and began to suck it with a steady rhythm, alternating suction with short, rapid licks. Sofía’s body writhed beneath hers.

—Ah… ah, fuck… like that, like that, don’t stop —Sofía panted in a strangled whisper, the saliva-soaked sheet hanging from her mouth—. Put it in me, Vera, please, put it inside me.

Vera lifted her right hand and slid two fingers into her cunt in one slow thrust. Sofía was pure silk burning from within, and she clamped down on Vera’s fingers with such force that Vera felt the inner walls pulsing against her fingertips. She began to fuck her with her hand, first slowly, sinking them to the knuckles and drawing them almost all the way out, letting Sofía feel every centimeter. With her tongue she never stopped working her clit, tracing figure-eights, sucking it, letting it go, sucking it again.

—More... faster... —Sofía had lost any trace of restraint—. Deeper, Vera, fuck me deeper.

Vera added a third finger. Sofía jolted and arched her hips toward Vera’s face, and Vera drove them in to the hilt, curving them inside to find that rough spot on the front wall of her cunt that made Sofía’s eyes roll back. When she found it, she began massaging it with her fingertips in the same rhythm as she sucked her clit. Sofía stopped biting the sheet for an instant so she could breathe, and Vera heard a broken plea escape her.

—I’m going... I’m going to come, Vera... don’t stop, fuck, don’t stop...

Vera didn’t stop. She accelerated the pace of her hand until her fingers were going in and out of Sofía’s cunt with a wet, obscene slosh that filled the cabin. She ran her flat tongue over the clit once, twice, three times, and on the fourth Sofía came. She came with her whole body, arched against Vera’s mouth, with her free hand covering her mouth to muffle the cry, and with her cunt clamping around Vera’s fingers in spasms that seemed endless to Vera. She soaked Vera’s chin, hand, and wrist. Vera didn’t move: she left her fingers inside and kept licking her gently, prolonging the climax until the contractions began to ease.

When Sofía finally let go completely, breathing in ragged pulls, Vera withdrew her fingers carefully and brought them to her mouth, sucking her taste off without breaking eye contact.

—Come here —Sofía whispered, tugging at her shoulders—. Come here right now.

Vera climbed up to kiss her. Sofía kissed her with her mouth open, tasting herself on Vera’s tongue, and her hands were still trembling when she began to undress her. She pulled Vera’s shirt off her shoulders, unclasped her bra, yanked her pants down. Vera let herself be stripped, laughing softly against her mouth.

—Now you —Sofía said—. Lie down. I want to give it all back.

Vera let herself be laid back on the bunk. Sofía straddled her for a moment, leaned down, and licked her nipples, one after the other, sucking them with a calm that was also a sweet revenge. She ran her tongue over Vera’s stomach, over the insides of her thighs, deliberately avoiding the place Vera needed most, and then came back up to kiss her mouth. Vera moaned against her lips.

—Sofía, please…

—Please what? —Sofía smiled against her neck—. Say it, Vera. With the words I like.

—Eat me —Vera whispered, now defenseless—. Eat me too. Please.

Sofía went down. She spread Vera’s thighs with her hands and settled between her legs. She blew slowly over Vera’s wet cunt, and a shuddering gasp escaped Vera. Then Sofía licked her for the first time, a long, firm stroke from bottom to top that ended with her lips closed over the clit. Vera brought both hands to her mouth to keep from screaming.

Sofía ate with a studious thoroughness, the same she used in her fieldwork. She explored every fold with her tongue, penetrated her briefly with the tip, came out, went back up to lick her clit with a rhythm that grew more and more insistent. When she slid two fingers inside and immediately found the right angle, Vera arched her back against the bunk and couldn’t prevent a sharp cry from slipping out between the fingers of the hand covering her mouth.

—Sshhh, my love —murmured Sofía without stopping moving her fingers inside—. Now it’s our turn to be discreet, remember?

—I can’t… —Vera panted—. I can’t, fuck, I can’t stay quiet like this…

Sofía rose for an instant, reached for the panties she had taken off Vera, and stuffed them between Vera’s teeth, pressing a firm hand over her jaw. Vera closed her eyes and bit down hard. Sofía went back down and kept eating her with even more intensity, sucking her swollen clit as if it were a little candy while her fingers went in and out of Vera’s cunt with ruthless precision. She added a third finger, then paused for a second to lick her ass with the tip of her tongue, a touch that drew a full-body shiver from Vera, and returned to the clit without giving her any reprieve.

Vera began to move her hips against Sofía’s mouth, seeking her, riding her tongue uncontrollably. Sofía held her by the belly with her free hand and increased the pace. Vera felt the orgasm rising inside her like a tide she could no longer hold back: it was born in her lower belly, lit up her legs, clenched her toes. When she exploded, she bit the panties so hard tears sprang to her eyes, and the moan that escaped her, though muffled, thundered inside her own chest like a clap of thunder. Her cunt pulsed in waves against Sofía’s fingers, and Sofía kept licking her softly, prolonging it until the very last tremor.

When it was over, Sofía climbed up her body, pulled the panties from her mouth with ironic tenderness, and kissed her slowly, her lips and chin shining.

—We’re not done yet —she whispered against Vera’s mouth.

—Oh God… —Vera laughed breathlessly—. Do you want to kill me?

—I want to feel you again. At the same time. —Sofía turned on the narrow bunk and settled on her side, fitting her leg between Vera’s and angling Vera’s leg to fit between hers—. Come. Like this.

Vera understood. She moved with her until their two sexes faced each other, legs crossed scissor-like and cunt pressed against cunt. Sofía pushed with her hip and Vera felt Sofía’s swollen clit sliding against hers, both of them soaked, slipping in a shared wetness that no longer belonged to either one alone. They both moaned at once, and both brought a hand to their mouth.

They began to move against each other, slowly at first, finding the rhythm. Vera tipped her head back and reached with her free hand for one of Sofía’s breasts, pinching it with urgent softness. Sofía mirrored her, finding her nipple and tugging it slightly. Their cunts rubbed together with a low, wet sound barely covered by the creak of the ship.

—Like that, my love, like that… —Sofía panted, voice broken—. Don’t stop, don’t stop…

The rhythm quickened on its own. They began to move almost violently, pressing their sex together in desperation, seeking friction, more pressure, more contact. Their bodies shone with sweat under the cabin lamp’s dim light. Vera felt Sofía’s clit stick to hers with every thrust, and felt them rub directly, with nothing between them, in a pure contact that was driving them both mad at once.

—I’m going to come again —Sofía whispered, almost voiceless—. Again, Vera, fuck…

—Me too, my love, me too, come with me, come with me…

They came together, almost in the same second, pressing a hand over each other’s mouths so they wouldn’t scream. Vera’s cunt pulsed in spasms against Sofía’s, and Sofía’s answered in the same cadence, and the two of them stayed there, trembling, panting against each other’s hand, legs still crossed and sex still stuck together, soaked to the thighs.

When they finally let go, Vera let herself fall back on the bunk, with Sofía on top of her, head resting on her chest, both of them breathing as if they had just run up to the deck. Vera held her, the weight of her body over hers, feeling Sofía’s heart return to its normal rhythm beneath her hand. Outside, the ship’s engine hummed in its steady cadence. The sea, indifferent as always, kept its course.

—What do we do now? —Sofía asked after a while, her cheek pressed to Vera’s shoulder and her voice still a little rough.

—Now —said Vera, running her fingers through Sofía’s damp hair—, nothing. Tomorrow, we’ll see.

Sofía gave a small laugh and held her tighter. Outside, somewhere down the corridor, the commander’s footsteps could be heard heading back toward the bridge. Neither of them said anything. There was no need.