The Intern I Wanted to Make Mine from Day One

I was forty-one years old, with a clothing brand that was billing better than ever and a loneliness money couldn’t cure. I had built an empire and, at the same time, had no one to celebrate it with.

The company had been built by the three of us when we were practically kids: Marina, Damián, and me. Three misfits who had crossed paths in the hallways of high school and didn’t fit in anywhere else. Marina and I were a couple for more than twenty years. Damián, on the other hand, never settled down; he jumped from one love to the next without stopping at any of them.

The two of them died on the same road, the same night, in the same car. I had not gotten in by pure chance. For a long time I wondered why the world hadn’t ended with me too, why I had been left out of that ending.

We were thirty-six when it happened. The brand stayed alive because it was well positioned and because we had designers and employees who kept it going better than I was capable of at the time.

As for me, I turned night into day. I took whatever came my way, legal or not, without measuring the consequences. It made no difference to me whether I woke up next to a man or a woman; the only thing I wanted was not to be alone when I opened my eyes, even though I almost always was anyway.

After a short stay in a recovery center, I came back into the world with my skin still raw. The first thing I did was stop by the factory to see how production was going. I walked the logistics line and then I saw her.

She was a beautiful woman, very young, with a concentration on her face you can’t learn. I had no idea who she was or what she was doing there, but I knew in that very instant that she was going to be mine.

I looked for Mónica, my right hand since forever, and asked her about her. She looked at me with a distrust she didn’t bother hiding.

—Mónica, tell me who she is. How long has she been working here?

—Not her, Renata. Please, not her.

—How long have you known me? You’ve been here almost from day one. You know perfectly well I’m not going to stop until I find out. You tell me, or I go ask her myself.

She huffed and gave in. She told me she was still on probation, that her name was Catalina, that she was twenty-two, and that she studied fashion design. For now, that position on the line was enough for her.

I asked her to organize a meeting with everyone who had joined in the last year. It was two long days. I met new faces, heard familiar stories, nodded a thousand times. Until finally Catalina’s turn came.

I knew I’d be seeing her on the second day, so I got myself ready like I hadn’t in a long time. A pair of jeans that looked painted on and a low-cut bodysuit that left very little to the imagination.

When she walked through the door, I got up to welcome her and showed genuine interest in her.

—Well, Cata, tell me: what do you like doing in your free time?

—My family has horses, so I ride whenever I can. And traveling, of course.

—Do you have any trips planned? I love the horses thing.

—I’ve got one scheduled to Vietnam with my boyfriend for next fall.

—So much advance planning. That’s like eight months away.

—I hope that’s not a problem. I told Mónica when she interviewed me.

—Not at all, you’ll sort those things out with her. And are you comfortable here? She told me you studied design.

—Yes, it’s like a dream. For my first job to be this place… I’m just starting college, I’m taking it at my own pace so I can handle everything.

—When we started the company, we had no idea about anything, but we were convinced we were going to succeed. I see that in you, Cata, that force, that thing not everyone has. I’d love for you to grow here. I hope I can help you with what I’ve learned.

—That’s an enormous compliment coming from you. I hope I get to be half of what you are.

—Don’t even think about it! Do I really look that old? Use tu, please.

—I’ll use tu, then. It would be a pleasure to learn from you.

—I’m looking at some profiles for people to work close to me. I like yours a lot.

A few weeks later, Catalina and a guy named Bruno were called in to be my assistants. Bruno really stood out; I knew he’d be useful to me. With Catalina, my intentions were different, though that didn’t mean she wouldn’t learn something along the way.

The first thing the two of them did was compete. They went out of their way to get my attention, each in their own way.

Bruno was brilliant, so I didn’t hesitate to send him to Paris with the design team to choose next season’s fabrics. Catalina’s face when she found out was pure distress, but she didn’t say a word.

One afternoon she knocked on my office door to ask if she could leave early: she had to take a midterm. I told her of course and offered to drive her to college myself. It was the first time we were alone.

During the drive we barely talked. When she got out, before closing the door, I said:

—Cata, you’re going to do great. Don’t get nervous. You’re going to eat that professor alive today.

—Thank you, Renata. Your words do me more good than you know.

She hugged me and got out. That hug wasn’t like the others. It lasted a second too long, her cheek stayed pressed to mine, and I knew the ground was starting to soften. I was going to seduce her little by little, without rushing.

The next day, the first thing I did was ask her about the exam. She told me she’d done well, though she’d gotten nervous. Bruno came back and kept me entertained for a good while with his comments about the trip. I hadn’t felt so comfortable at the factory in a long time; so renewed that I almost forgot about Catalina.

One afternoon she came up to me, shy, biting back her doubts.

—Renata, I’ve been thinking maybe I’m not doing the job right. There are days when I don’t really have much to do.

—Cata, you can help Bruno, though don’t get frustrated if he has trouble letting go of anything. I know guys like him.

—See? You two have a special relationship. It’s like you knew each other before.

—And with you I have another one that’s beautiful and special too. Besides, we’re both women. We understand each other from places a man never reaches. Believe me, we could be even better if we got to know each other more.

—You’re the best mentor anyone could hope for. Tell me what I have to do to improve.

I didn’t think about it much.

—Let’s do this. Your term ends this week. We’re going to tour the stores in the provinces where we have the strongest presence. You’re coming with me and we’re going to get things in order together. Want to?

The following week we were taking the plane to the first destination. While we flew I explained how things were going in that province, where she needed to focus, what details to look at. As soon as we landed, we went straight to the store. She moved around pretty well; I talked to the employees and coordinated the rest.

After the first review, we went to the hotel and then out to lunch. She told me how happy she was, how she hoped she wouldn’t disappoint me. After lunch I went to take a nap and told her that if she wanted, that night we could go out to dinner and have a drink.

I found her in the lobby at nine. She was wearing a very short dress with three-quarter sleeves and one shoulder bare, over stilettos that made her legs look even better. I’d put on a lace top and satin shorts. When we saw each other, we both laughed.

—You look good enough to eat, Cata.

She blushed and looked down. We had dinner in a dimly lit bar and tried, one by one, almost every cocktail on the menu. She loosened up with every glass. She asked me about Marina, about Damián, and I told her how it had all started in the kitchen of my house, how I had fallen in love with Marina without even realizing it.

—And how did you know it was her and not a man?

—That’s easy. I’ve always liked women, Cata. Men don’t attract me. The same way you like guys, I like girls. A good conversation, things only another woman understands.

—Oh.

—Does that answer not sit right with you? —I laughed.

—No… it’s just… have you never been with a guy?

—Of course I have. That’s precisely why I can tell you so confidently that I like women. You’ve never…?

—Oh, Renata! Yes. At school, with my classmates, we kissed to practice.

—This conversation is getting interesting. And did you like it?

—I don’t know. It was to be ready when it was our turn to kiss a guy. It wasn’t bad, but they were only kisses.

—A kiss can be much more intense than anything else.

—Then I’d like for you to kiss me.

I laughed out loud. I had her exactly where I wanted her.

—No, miss. It’s flattering that you ask, but I’d rather it not involve alcohol.

—I’m asking you seriously. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m dying to know your kisses.

The night went on along that track. She praised, I dodged. Suddenly I felt her leg rubbing against mine under the table. The sensation went through me whole. I asked her what she was doing and she told me, without shame, that she felt like doing exactly that.

We went back to the hotel both pretty drunk. She asked me to go with her to my room to give me kisses. I took her to hers and, before I could refuse, she pulled me inside by the arm. I told her I was staying, but nothing was going to happen. I took off her dress, put her pajamas on her, and lay down beside her. She fell asleep right away.

I was aroused in a way that’s hard to explain. There, in the dark, with her breathing next to my ear, I slipped my hand into my underwear and touched myself. I moved my pelvis slowly, moaned just a little, in silence, and came almost immediately. I licked my fingers to taste myself and let myself drift off to sleep.

In the morning, Catalina was acting strange. She knew perfectly well what she’d drunk and how she’d gotten. I told her she shouldn’t feel bad about anything, that I’d only stayed to take care of her sleep, that the night had been wonderful but that there was no need to talk about it.

—Renata, please. The only thing I want is to talk about last night. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.

—I don’t want you to get confused. You have a boyfriend. I don’t want you making rushed decisions.

—Half asleep, I heard you touching yourself next to me. And I loved it. I enjoyed it so much. I didn’t know what to do, but I was dying for a kiss.

I rested a finger on her full lips, as if to say there was no need to add anything else. I moved it slowly over her mouth, made her taste it, slipped it in so she could suck it. I whispered in her ear that with that finger I had touched myself thinking about her. I felt her heart race.

I sat up in the bed and sat her on top of me. I stroked her neck, kissed it, left soft kisses on her cheek, sweet, and suddenly I found her lips. I ran my tongue over them, then pressed mine to hers and started moving my mouth. Her lips parted, our tongues found each other, and the kisses grew thick, passionate. My hands were in her hair, messing it up. The harder she hugged me, the closer she came. I pulled back just a little, looked at her.

—Did you like it?

For answer, she started taking off her clothes.

She ended up almost naked, with a tiny thong as her only defense. Her breasts were firm, perfect. I took off my pajamas and was left in my underwear. I kissed her again hungrily, brought one thigh against her pelvis and hers against mine, and started moving slowly so they would rub together. I could feel her heating up. I stroked her breasts, kissed them, took her nipples between my fingers until they hardened, and she moaned, asking for more while she rocked over my leg.

I took off her thong and slid two fingers into her, after first running them through my mouth. She liked it; I stroked her belly while I opened her. Her whole body arched, her pelvis pushed against my hand, she moaned with her head thrown back. I felt her clench again and again. I went down and ran my tongue through her slit without removing my fingers, slowly, tasting all of her. Her moans grew so loud she had to cover her mouth. At one point her hand pushed my head, almost involuntarily, and I attacked harder until I left her exhausted and trembling.

Then I lay down beside her. She looked at me, still breathing hard, and kissed me without caring about anything. Clumsily, she tried to return the favor, so I guided her. I brought her fingers to my clit and explained as I went, helping her a little. I liked that feeling of knowing she was learning, giving me pleasure for the first time. She kissed my breasts in the meantime, and that made everything much easier. I told her she looked beautiful naked, that I loved it, and she couldn’t stop playing with my body, as if a whirlwind inside her had suddenly awakened.

I took her face in my hands and kissed her for a long time.

***

I explained that we had to stop, that they were waiting for us at the store. She refused, told me she couldn’t, that she didn’t want to. After insisting that work was work, I went back to my room, changed, and we met up to leave.

Her face was completely wrecked. I didn’t need to ask. I knew, the moment I saw her, that she had spoken to her boyfriend.