Memories

Her mother went to mass on Wednesday afternoons, and that half hour became the office’s best-kept secret.

I worked while the city slept locked away, and the only time that was mine was that empty train car. Until he stopped asking for the permit and started asking for something else.

No one suspects the respectable woman I pretend to be by day. Only you know what I whisper when we’re alone again, glass in hand.

The bus’s swaying pressed us together so tightly that her hand ended up exactly where it shouldn’t have, and neither of us did anything to stop it.

I stepped into the center of the circle thinking I had the situation under control. I had no idea my shorts would slowly ride up until they left me nearly exposed in front of everyone.

What we had was already over, but that summer night I discovered how far I was willing to go just to feel him inside me again.

I shaved everything, put on the blonde wig, and crossed the province with a backpack full of hope. What I didn’t bring was a heart of steel, and that was my mistake.

A hundred and fifty meters from my parasol, she was stroking him without hiding it. I knew I’d return through the dunes so I wouldn’t miss what came next.

We always played at being girlfriends in front of everyone, until heat, the river, and a few beers blurred the line between the game and what we really wanted.

You begged me in whispers, holding your breath while I reached for the lubricant. And I never told you I looked forward to that dawn as much as you did.

She’d been married for twenty years to a man who prayed before every meal. That afternoon, under the park tree, she confessed who she truly missed.

I put on the wine-colored dress he had chosen, took a deep breath, and understood that night would be the real gift: finally feeling like the woman I had always been.

I’d been sleeping with men for five years, and kneeling there again, I did the exact math of how many had gone through my mouth. That night I realized something had broken.

I promised him this time would be different. I kept it up for exactly three weeks, until the bar bouncer arrived an hour early.

I look at myself in the mirror in my garter belt and fishnets, and I smile: I lost the bet, and I know exactly what he’s going to ask of me this afternoon.

I spotted her in the back of the bar and my heart lurched: it was her, the teacher who stole my sleep when I was just a kid. And this time I was no longer that child.

In the dark, a few meters from my building, his cock shone under the only streetlamp on the street. And I already knew I was going to lower my head again.

It was after eleven, everyone was asleep, and the rain was falling hard. I thought I’d just go get wet in the patio for a while. I had no idea how far I was going to dare to go that night.

I came out of the water shivering and saw her adjusting her bikini in the sun. Neither of us knew that morning would change everything between us.

We weren’t planning anything that afternoon. But when he dropped his pants in front of me, I knew I was about to try something I’d never tried before.