Oral

I hit send and left the phone face down. I wasn’t expecting a reply that same night. When he answered, I knew there was no going back.

I crossed the street convinced she wouldn’t recognize me. She smiled at me, and I knew that afternoon something was going to change forever between us.

I had never gone out into the street dressed like that. That morning, with the house all to myself, I decided it was the day to fulfill the fantasy that had been keeping me awake.

I’m 1.62 and he was 1.88. When he opened the door in shorts and I saw what he had between his legs, I thought about turning around. I didn’t.

Her nickname said “active transvestite,” and I’d only had one experience so far. That afternoon, in a hotel near the subway, I learned what it was to be truly dominated.

It was the first time I saw her in person. I meant to tell her about the pool and the lifeguard, but her hand on my thigh changed the conversation before I finished the sentence.

“Don’t rush,” she murmured against the wall. “I want to feel everything you do, slowly, until the whole night feels too short.”

I got off the bus with my head full of class and my body full of something else. Twenty minutes later I was in a stranger’s car, learning what I’d never dared to ask.

Bruna knelt in the shower in front of her cousin, and none of the women in the bathroom could look away. Not even the mother, who already had her hand under her dress.

I lowered the zipper of his trousers very slowly, afraid of waking him. That morning changed forever what I understood pleasure to be.

When I went down for a coffee in the hotel’s empty café, I had no idea he’d leave the party to follow me upstairs with a bottle and a very specific idea.

When I went into the empty classroom to change, the door opened behind me. It was her, the student council president, and she hadn’t come alone with words.

I locked the door and turned off the lights in the study room. All I wanted that afternoon was to comfort her; all she wanted was to forget her boyfriend.

When she gave me the keys to her apartment and left for work, I already knew that night we were going to debut much more than the bottle of wine I had packed in my suitcase.

Dressed like a man, but lace is hiding under my pants. That morning, in the last subway car, someone noticed and couldn’t take his eyes off me.

When I turned to wash my hands, I saw him in the mirror: tall, gray-haired, with his zipper open and his gaze locked on mine. My night was just beginning.

When she came through the salon door, I knew that session was going to break something inside me. And I wasn’t wrong.

I’d known him since high school as the toughest macho in class. Last night he saw me transformed into someone else, and the next day his message left no room for doubt.

When I got into the car that morning and saw that she was alone at the wheel, I knew the weekend wasn’t going to be innocent.

I had my fuchsia dress in my backpack and one idea in my head: that night, I was going to belong to whoever paid for me.