Oral

Her white nightgown barely covered her thighs, and I knew that night I would unbutton it all, one button at a time, in silence.

I never thought a game scene would ignite something between us, or that by that same afternoon I’d have his taste in my mouth and his name looping in my head.

That night I put on the skirt, stockings, and heels I kept hidden in the wardrobe. I didn’t know that someone had been watching from across the landing.

I went downstairs for water at midnight and found her awake, ready to give my wife the one lesson I had never managed to teach her.

—Today we’re just going to take care of you —she whispered, and I understood that after being her slut all night, it was time to be her girl again.

Marina left the phone book open to the letter C. I was only going to talk about my bedroom problem, but that first appointment didn’t end as anyone would have imagined.

The taxi arrived at two-thirty. I climbed four flights with two bags in my hands and the certainty that there was no turning back.

Only one name was left on his patient list, and when he called it, he had no idea who would walk through his consulting room door that afternoon.

Every first Tuesday of the month he rang the bell with the water drum on his shoulder. I greeted him each time wearing less and less, hoping he’d stay longer than necessary.

When three knocks sounded on the bathroom door, I assumed it was Carla. But he was the one who came in, without waiting for an answer, barefoot and bare-chested.

The park was empty at nine. When the three dark silhouettes appeared at the end of the path, I knew I wouldn’t get home the same person.

I never saw them. I only heard every word, every blow of the headboard against the wall, and suddenly their pleasure was mine too.

He lived right across from me and had never looked at me twice. That afternoon I decided that was going to change, even if I had to cross the hallway without a bra.

At fifty-one, after many women, I wrote to a stranger on a gay website not knowing that message would force me to accept what I had always denied.

Every so often I’d type her name to see if I could find her. She never showed up. Until that morning, when the first result was her, exact, unmistakable.

It started as a joke while watching videos in bed. It ended with both of us bent over the mattress, trying something we never thought possible.

I’d been secretly wearing lingerie for years. That week, away from home, I decided to find out what it really felt like with a stranger in bed.

I thought it would just be another chat to kill the boredom. But when he started typing, I closed my eyes and let his words do what no hand had done in months.

At thirty, no one had ever kissed me. The night I spied on my roommate through the crack in his door, something inside me finally awakened.