I Spied on My Children That Night and Couldn’t Stop

That night I couldn’t sleep. The house was silent, that thick silence of the early hours when any noise becomes enormous. I got up barefoot to drink a glass of water and, as I crossed the carpeted hallway, I heard muffled moans coming from Marcos’s room.

My first thought was the most innocent one: again watching movies with the volume up. I went over to ask him to turn it down, more out of habit than annoyance. The door was ajar and the dark hallway hid me completely.

I nearly fainted when I looked inside.

Marcos wasn’t alone. His sister Lucía was with him, the two of them on the bed, not a single item of clothing on either body. I froze in the shadows, unable to move, unable to breathe.

I watched Lucía run her tongue over her brother’s sex until it hardened, and then she lay back while he slid between her thighs and penetrated her with a slow, firm motion.

My daughter’s legs lifted and closed over Marcos’s body, drawing him in. He began to thrust slowly, setting a rhythm the two of them seemed to know by heart.

I should have screamed. I should have gone in, torn them apart, demanded explanations. Instead I stayed there, in the half-light, my back pressed to the wall and my heart hammering in my throat.

They looked so natural like that, as if they’d been doing it forever. And at the same time, the fact that they were siblings stunned me, stirred something inside me that I couldn’t name right away.

Without thinking, I lowered a hand and found my clit, throbbing beneath the fabric of my nightgown, swollen, treacherous. I pulled my fingers away as if I’d been burned.

I moved away from the door and went back to my room almost running, with a mixture of rage and something far more shameful. Because deep down, under the anger, there was a desire I didn’t dare admit even to myself.

I wanted it to be me. I wanted to be in Lucía’s place.

***

That thought lit me up in a way I hadn’t felt in years. I shut my bedroom door, took off my nightgown, and lay down on the bed naked, my breathing quickening.

I opened the drawer of the nightstand and took out the vibrator. I had put new batteries in it that same week, almost as if some part of me had foreseen that I was going to need it.

I slid it slowly over my body, down across my belly. The wardrobe mirror gave me back my own image: my thighs open, skin aflame, everything wet and ready before the device even touched me where I wanted it most.

The image of Lucía being penetrated by her brother kept spinning in my head. And instead of frightening me, it made me jealous. Jealous of my own daughter. Jealous of not being in that bed.

I closed my eyes and moved the vibrator up and down, over and over, letting the buzzing blend with my moans. From bottom to top, from top to bottom. Pleasure rose in waves.

My moans grew louder than I meant them to. The climax was there, about to burst.

Then I opened my eyes. I felt, before I saw her, that there was someone else in the room.

Lucía was standing by the door, watching me. She was wearing a short nightgown bunched up to her waist, and with one hand she was rubbing herself between her legs without the slightest attempt to hide it.

I stopped the vibrator and covered myself with my hand, the heat of shame rising to my face.

—Mom, please, keep going —she said softly—. Seeing you like this turns me on so much.

I swallowed, speechless.

—I saw you in the mirror —she went on, coming closer—. I saw you watching us before, Marcos and me. And I know you liked it too.

I couldn’t deny it. There was no point denying it.

***

Lucía let the nightgown fall to the floor and lay down beside me on the bed with that ease that completely disarmed me. Her young, warm body brushed against mine.

—Do you still want us, Mom? —she asked, and there was a mixture of playfulness and real need in her voice.

—Of course I do, daughter —I answered, my voice breaking—. You’re my whole life.

She leaned in and kissed me on the lips. It wasn’t a daughter’s kiss. It was deep, slow, passionate, her tongue seeking mine and exploring my mouth without the slightest hurry. I let myself be carried away, stunned by the intensity of that passion.

—Sweetheart, we shouldn’t —I murmured against her lips—. I’m your mother.

But my voice conveyed almost no conviction, and we both knew it.

Her hand slid down my belly until it found the wetness between my legs. Her fingers traced the slippery flesh, feeling, searching, until they slipped slowly inside.

Suddenly she pulled back and moved down my body. Without hesitating for a second, she buried her head between my thighs and placed her mouth exactly where I wanted it most.

Her tongue rose to my clit and licked it from the base, with a precision that tore a cry from me. It had been so long since a mouth had been there that the pleasure was almost unbearable.

I had never felt anything like it. I gasped, moaned, clung to the sheets while that whole area blazed from the deepest part of my body. The orgasm hit me without warning, long and violent.

—Mom —Lucía whispered, lifting her head—, I want us to touch ourselves at the same time. Both of us. Please.

She rolled over on the bed and lay back. I ran my tongue over her belly, slowly moving down until I reached between her legs, giving her back exactly what she had given me.

A few strokes over her clit were enough for her to explode, arching her back and gripping my hair with both hands.

***

I looked back and saw an erect cock a few inches from my face. I tilted my head farther and found Marcos’s smile.

He was standing silently behind me, naked, watching us from who knew how long, the tip wet and his body taut with desire.

I smiled at him. Then I leaned in, opened my mouth, and breathed against him before taking him in. I ran my tongue over the tip and took him all the way in, slowly.

I started moving, my mouth going up and down with a rhythm that grew more determined with each stroke. Marcos sighed and lowered a hand to stroke my hair. This is my son’s body, I thought, and the idea only lit me up even more.

It didn’t take long. I felt the first burst deep in my throat, hot and abundant. When I pulled him out of my mouth to look at him, still pulsing, a second wave splashed my face, my hair, my naked breasts.

I stood there fascinated, watching him keep coming, unable to believe what I was living through in my own bed.

***

My children started kissing again in front of me. I watched their tongues search for each other, Lucía’s hands roaming over her brother’s chest, how they reignited each other effortlessly.

She took Marcos’s sex and guided it back to her mouth. Little by little she hardened him again, until he was hard as a rock, ready once more.

Then Lucía made me lie back and began kissing my lips with the same passion as before, while Marcos positioned himself between my legs and rubbed the tip against me.

My body responded at once to the double stimulation: my daughter’s mouth on mine and my son about to enter me. I was completely lost, and I no longer wanted anyone to rescue me.

I sighed when he slid inside me. I felt his firm hands gripping my hips, drawing me toward him, sinking all the way in with a single thrust.

His thighs crashed against mine with every stroke. He moved his hips in circles, up and down, from side to side, as if he wanted to memorize every inch of me.

I wrapped my legs around his back and pressed him against my body, taking him to the limit. Marcos exploded deep inside me, right in the same place from which I had brought him into the world so many years earlier.

***

The three of us ended up stretched out on the rumpled bed, tangled together, kissing and caressing slowly, catching our breath between soft laughter and complicit silences.

—Children —I finally said, my voice still trembling—, today you made your mother very happy.

Lucía rested her head on my shoulder. Marcos kissed my temple.

We’ll never be a normal family again, I thought. And I discovered that I didn’t care at all.

—I don’t want to get in the way of anything you do with each other —I added, stroking both their hair—. And I hope that, whenever you want, you feel free to do it with me too. This house keeps secrets, and this one will be the best of them all.