My Brother Couldn’t Stand Seeing Me with Another Man That Night

I was dancing in the middle of the floor, surrounded by my friends, with the music pounding in my chest. Noelia was moving beside me, rubbing herself against a guy she’d just met, but she couldn’t stop glancing over toward the bar.

—My brother won’t take his eyes off you —I yelled in her ear so she could hear me over the bass.

—Ugh… —she moaned, licking her lips—. Last Saturday he nearly split me in two in the back seat of his car.

I knew Noelia was crazy about him. They’d hooked up three or four times, quick, hot encounters that always ended in the parking lot. I’d seen them come back once or twice: her with smeared mascara and a dumb smile; him with that poker face that never let anything show.

I moved around looking for a spark that would make me feel alive, rubbing against unfamiliar bodies, feeling other people’s sweat sticking to my white top. I had just turned nineteen and my body was burning with hormones and cheap vodka. That night I wanted something to happen, anything.

Adrián was eight years older than me and he was there, leaning at the bar with his friends, a beer in his hand. His gaze was a laser. But that night the laser wasn’t aimed at Noelia.

It was burning me.

A stranger pressed himself against me from behind. He had big hands and a several-days beard that scratched my neck when he bit my earlobe. I turned around and searched for his mouth. The kiss was a clash of tongues with the taste of gin and urgency. I felt his erection pressing against my belly, hard, insistent.

—What’s your name? —he asked when he pulled away.

—Marina —I answered, completely forgetting my brother and Noelia.

We spent quite a while dancing and grinding together. Every now and then we kissed, as if we knew each other from before.

—You’re so fucking hot —he kept telling me.

—You’re not bad yourself —I replied, smiling.

—Let’s get out of here —he panted, slipping a hand under my skirt, his fingers brushing the edge of my panties—. The bathrooms are upstairs and you’ve got me ready to explode.

I followed him, my head spinning, the alcohol dancing in my blood and a stupid recklessness pushing me up the stairs. The bathroom hallway was dark and smelled stale. We got into a filthy cubicle and the latch creaked shut, sealing us inside.

The guy didn’t waste any time. He slammed me against the cold tiled wall, his body pressing mine with an urgency that turned me on despite everything. He yanked my top up and started devouring my breasts, his hot, wet mouth moving over my nipples, nibbling them with such hunger that it tore a muffled moan from me.

I took my hands down to his crotch and felt the bulge straining against his pants. He was rock hard, throbbing under my palm. He hiked my skirt up to my waist and yanked my panties down in one sharp pull, tearing the lace at the side with a sound lost beneath the music outside. I felt the cold tile against my bare ass and the heat of his hand squeezing my breast, almost brutally, while the other fumbled for my wetness with clumsy desperation.

I was just about to take it out. My breathing had become a constant gasp when the main bathroom door crashed against the wall with a bang that froze my blood.

—Marina! —Adrián’s roar silenced even my heartbeat.

He appeared like a furious shadow. He grabbed the guy by the collar and threw him out of the cubicle as if he were a sack of trash.

—What the fuck are you doing, Adrián?! Get out! —I shouted, trying to cover my breasts and pull my skirt down, humiliation burning my throat.

—Is this what you want? —he spat, bloodshot eyes blazing, his jaw so tense it looked about to split—. To have some random club asshole shove it into you against a bathroom wall? You’re pathetic, Marina.

—Go to hell! —I yelled, shoving him—. You fuck my friends in the car and nobody says a word!

—It’s different! —he roared, punching the door—. I didn’t know you were like this.

The guy, seeing things getting ugly, tried to act brave.

—Hey, relax, man, we were just having some fun.

Adrián cut him off cold. He grabbed him by the lapel with one hand and slammed him against the opposite wall.

—If you ever touch my sister again, I swear I’ll break you. Get out of here. Now.

The guy didn’t think twice. He ran out of the bathroom pulling up his pants, leaving me alone with my brother. With that man looking at me with a mix of disgust and pain that turned my stomach.

—Don’t ever talk to me like that again in your life —I said; my voice was trembling, but not from fear, from pure rage—. You’re nobody to judge me. Go away.

He said nothing. He held my gaze for one more second, a look charged with something possessive that made my skin prickle. His eyes dropped to my torn panties, abandoned on the floor, and he turned around. I heard him leave the club.

I went back to the dance floor, but nothing was the same anymore. The music irritated me, the smell of people made me sick. The guy from before came over again, with a smug grin.

—Looks like your little brother ran away with his tail between his legs —he whispered in my ear, his hand brushing my hip again.

I shoved him away with a force I didn’t know I had.

—Get lost —I barked, not hiding my disgust—. Leave me alone.

—Wow —he spat, his face twisting into a sneer—. First you get me hard and then nothing. You’re such a tease.

I didn’t answer. I grabbed my purse, said goodbye to my friends with some excuse, and called a taxi. All the way home I couldn’t think about anything except Adrián’s face when he opened that door. About the way he had looked at me.

***

I got home almost two hours later. Everything was silent, swallowed by a thick darkness. I climbed the stairs trying not to make a sound, but when I opened my bedroom door I froze.

Adrián was sitting on my bed, in the dark. Only the moonlight coming through the window outlined his silhouette, a silhouette I knew far too well.

—I thought you’d take longer —he said, his voice hoarse, a voice I could barely recognize.

—What are you doing here? Get out of my room.

He stood up slowly. He came toward me until I could smell his cologne, that scent that had always made me feel safe and now set my skin on edge. We were so close I could feel the heat of his body.

—Forgive me —he whispered, his breath stroking my cheek—. What I said in the bathroom… I didn’t mean it. I went crazy. I couldn’t stand seeing him touch you. I couldn’t stand the idea that anybody could have you like that.

—You told me I was pathetic, Adrián.

—I know. I’m an idiot. But you don’t understand… —he ran a hand through his hair, desperate—. I’ve spent years pretending you’re only my little sister. I try to scare other guys away because I can’t stand the idea of them looking at you the way I look at you.

The silence became suffocating.

—And how do you look at me, Adrián? —I asked, and my voice was nothing more than a broken whisper that vanished into the dimness of my room.

He didn’t answer with words. He took another step, invading my space, and cupped my cheek. His thumb, rough and warm, traced my lower lip with a gentleness that hurt more than his insults at the club. Then he kissed me.

It wasn’t the clumsy, slobbery kiss from the guy in the bathroom. This one tasted of years of restrained desire, of secrets, of an urgency that made my knees weak. His lips claimed mine hungrily, devouring me. I let myself fall back onto the bed and he followed, covering my body with his, weighing me down like a slab of fire.

—You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this —he panted against my ear, his breathing raising the hair on the back of my neck.

Those hands that had cared for me and protected me since I was a child were now stripping me with feverish urgency. He freed me from my top and my breasts were exposed. Adrián stopped for a second, devouring me with his eyes.

—Fuck, Marina… how many times I’ve dreamed about this —he growled before lunging at them—. You have no idea how many times I’ve touched myself thinking about you.

He started eating them with an almost animal voracity, alternating slow licks with gentle bites that made my back arch. I felt his hot tongue circling my nipples, tugging them until they were hard. I moaned, burying my fingers in his brown hair, pulling him harder against me. I was naked beneath him, exposed to his dark gaze, to his unleashed desire.

—Do you like me more than Noelia? —I asked, feeling a sudden pang of jealousy toward my friend—. She’s crazy about you.

He looked me in the eyes.

—She’s nobody. When I was fucking her, I was only thinking about you.

—Promise me —I said, pushing him away for a second—. Tell me you like me more than her.

He bit my lip.

—I swear it, Marina. Nobody turns me on as much as you do.

He got rid of his clothes with clumsy movements, blinded by lust. When his pants hit the floor, his erection was freed, hard and throbbing. He knelt between my legs and made me look at him. I reached out, trembling, and wrapped my fingers around him. He was burning hot, so firm it seemed ready to burst.

—Adrián… —I whispered, swallowing as I stroked him—, it’s too much. I don’t know if I’ll be able to… you’re going to split me open.

He let out a rough laugh, a mix of pride and desperation.

—You’ll be able to, baby. I’m going to stretch you wide open —he replied, gripping my thighs and spreading them apart.

He lowered his head and started licking me, exploring my wetness with his tongue. I was soaking, my body betraying me completely, responding to him without me being able to stop it.

—You’re on fire, Marina. So tight and so hot you’re going to drive me insane —he panted, sliding a finger inside me while he licked my clit at a rhythm that made me tremble.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him up, sealing my answer with a kiss that tasted like both of us. Adrián lined himself up and, without warning, pushed in. He entered in one thrust, filling me completely. A sharp moan, half pain, half pure pleasure, slipped from my lips. I felt myself stretching to the limit to make room for him. He stopped for a moment, his forehead resting against mine, savoring the resistance of my body.

—Goddamn… you’re so tight —he whispered through clenched teeth, the veins in his temples standing out—. I’m almost coming just from putting it in you.

He started moving, first with a torturous slowness that made me beg for more, and then with a force that made the headboard bang against the wall. We had to hold back so we wouldn’t wake our parents, asleep on the other side of the hall, and that threat made everything more unbearable, more forbidden.

Each thrust was a crash of flesh against flesh, a filthy sound that lit my blood on fire. I moaned his name like a prayer, my face buried in the pillow to muffle the noise.

—Adrián, Adrián… don’t stop.

The rhythm built until it became frantic. My brother was pounding into me with an intensity that left me breathless, his eyes locked on mine, marking me as his in every inch of my skin. The line between brother and lover burned in that fire until it disappeared.

—You’re mine, do you understand now? —he asked, driving deeper—. Only mine.

—Yes, I’m yours —I gasped, clutching his back—, but don’t stop.

I came first. A tearing shudder ripped through me as my muscles clenched around him. He covered my mouth with his hand to muffle my cry.

—Quiet —he whispered against my ear—, you’ll wake the whole house.

He came inside me with one final shudder that left us both trembling, soaked in sweat and in something like guilt. We stayed wrapped around each other, our hearts hammering in unison in the dark.

—What happens now? —I whispered, my voice still shaking from the orgasm—. Am I still your little sister or am I something else now?

He pulled me tighter against his sweaty chest.

—Both things, baby —he replied, and kissed me again, slowly, as if he wanted to carve my mouth into his memory forever.

We slept together, skin to skin, until there was half an hour left before Dad’s alarm went off. Adrián got up quietly and, before leaving my room, turned back and gave me one last kiss. A kiss that tasted like a promise, like this was going to happen again every night, in the complicit silence of our secret.