Taboo

For years I thought fun meant books and documentaries. Then she locked the bedroom door and started undressing in front of the two of us.

The moment I shook the newlywed’s hand, his wife held my gaze a second too long. That night she whispered to find her after the trip.

I heard my twin sister moving in the shower. When I went into the bathroom, I saw her panties on the floor, and everything got complicated that very morning.

I was alone on the sofa when the door opened. It was Marina, my sister’s friend, and what she saw made her smile. What happened next took me by surprise.

I went down for coffee in mid-afternoon. The half-open door, the gasps from the room beyond, and the decision I should never have made: pushing the wood a few inches farther.

When the warning arrived, I turned on the screen thinking it would be just another meeting. I never imagined I’d see my sister-in-law kneeling in front of my father-in-law’s business partner.

She lived two floors above me, and every time I ran into her in the elevator I thought the same thing: you’re going to be mine. That afternoon, with a rose in my hand, I asked her to come down for coffee with me.

It was three in the morning when I peeked into my parents’ room and saw my father in front of the television. I didn’t leave. I kept watching.

We’d been alone at home for a month when she offered to examine me after the hit. I never imagined my mother would kneel between my legs.

When I opened the door and saw her standing there with the grocery bags, I had no idea that that welcome-home dinner would be the start of years of blackmail.

Nineteen years old, a 100-degree afternoon, and my aunt by marriage mopping my room in tight jeans. That afternoon I couldn’t hold back anymore.

At eleven we turned off the movie. At midnight I curled up against his chest. At one he kissed me in a way he never should have. And I, a virgin, knew I was his.

When she let the sweater fall to the floor and took off her shoes in front of me, I knew that afternoon I wouldn’t leave my father-in-law’s house the same man.

They thought she wanted jewelry or a trip. When they asked what she really desired, there was nothing left to do but say the one thing she had never dared speak aloud.

My mother leaned in front of me to pull an old tape from the box, and when she slowly adjusted her robe, I knew she had seen what I didn’t want her to see.

The moment he turned eighteen, he went looking for the woman his father had torn from him. He never imagined that in a café that afternoon, she’d come with a different plan.

When I came back from the bathroom with her garment tucked in my pocket, I had no idea she’d be waiting that same afternoon with a deal that would change everything.

Esteban was asleep when I got up to shower. By the time he woke again, I had already decided who else I wanted in that bed before noon.

When I saw him get off the train, he was no longer the boy I remembered. In that moment I thought my husband would have to learn to share, even if he never knew how.

When I found him behind me in the kitchen, his body pressed to mine and his breathing ragged against my neck, I knew I was going to give in before I fought.