Teacher

She arrived in the arena like a semiprofessional with perfect manners. Three lessons later, she was the one putting the crop in my hand and telling me not to go easy.

I knelt in front of the window, never imagining that one of them had already gone around the house and was watching me in silence from the back door.

My whole life I believed I belonged only to him. The afternoon he walked into the dean’s office and found me on the desk, I discovered how much he liked seeing me with another man.

I knew that blouse would make him nervous. What I didn’t imagine was how far I’d be willing to take it that afternoon, with the apartment empty and the door closed.

“I knew you’d come today,” she said, and then he understood that this chance reunion was anything but chance.

I was always the girl who followed the rules, until he ordered me to kneel and I realized my body had spent years waiting for someone to give it permission.

I blush just thinking that you’re going to read this, but he ordered me to: I must tell, without hiding anything, how I learned to kneel and say thank you.

At twenty-nine she still had a good girl’s face, but that morning she walked into my office knowing exactly what she’d have to do for her father to sleep at home.

It began as an academic interest in the brightest student in the group. What ended up happening in my office is still hard for me to put into words.

I was nineteen and impossibly horny. He noticed it the moment he opened his apartment door, and there was no way to hide what we both wanted.

All my classmates sighed over him, but none of them knew what I hid beneath the masculine uniform the world forced me to wear.

My tutor had just fallen asleep when I discovered the half-open drawer of her bedside table. Inside, something was shining that was about to change everything between us.

I was kneeling on the passenger seat when he whispered his girlfriend’s name. I looked up through the tinted glass: she was walking toward the car.

I crossed the street convinced she wouldn’t recognize me. She smiled at me, and I knew that afternoon something was going to change forever between us.

When I walked into the teachers’ lounge, hands wrapped around me from behind and lips slid down my neck. I recognized her perfume instantly.

When I went into the empty classroom to change, the door opened behind me. It was her, the student council president, and she hadn’t come alone with words.

I recognized him the moment he turned around. He was going to be my gym teacher, and at the first touch of his hands on my back, I knew that day wasn’t ending there.

When the classroom emptied, he stayed in front of my desk with a clumsy excuse about an exercise he already knew how to do. And I stopped pretending.