I Accepted the Swap Without Imagining What I Would Feel

Rubén proposed it to me on an ordinary Tuesday, during our break at work, as if he were suggesting we go out for a drink. A swap. For real this time, not one of those fantasies you toss out in bed to heat things up. I had wanted it at some point, but I had never been sure. Beatriz, his wife, was nice enough, although I wasn’t attracted to her enough. What I did know, without a doubt, was that Noelia would be eager to try it with Rubén.

I knew because one night I brought it up. And I say I brought it up because she didn’t want to confess. She denied having fantasies about anyone while I slowly rummaged between her legs, until she gave in.

—It’s not that I want to fuck him —she finally said—. It’s just a fantasy I masturbated to. It was when you went to Seville and I was left alone with the exam. I was horny, I started touching myself, and suddenly I remembered a day when Rubén seemed to be flirting with me. And you’ll admit he’s handsome. In my head, I let him seduce me, he fucked me, and I came. But I don’t even really like him; it was just a horny impulse.

—So you’d fuck him, but you wouldn’t flirt with him?

—I didn’t say that.

—And what was he packing?

—Ha. Pretty big.

—Bigger than mine?

—Don’t be offended. In a fantasy, size is free, and my mind chose a big one. —She laughed.

That night we fucked in Rubén’s honor. Specifically, he used my body to fuck Noelia, at least in our imagination.

I have to tell you something else, because I think it had something to do with it. Seven or eight months earlier, I’d had a stupid little thing with a coworker, one night when I drank too much. There hadn’t even been penetration, just touching, but I didn’t confess it and the guilt was eating me alive. Some of that weighed on my decision now.

Rubén and I worked together and had become good friends. By association, Beatriz and Noelia also ended up becoming friends. They practiced swapping regularly; we never had. We had only fantasized about it.

***

That night, in bed, I blurted it out.

—Noelia, you won’t believe what Rubén proposed to me this morning.

—A swap.

—How do you know?

—Don’t tell me I guessed right. Seriously? And what did you say?

—That’s it, a swap.

—Come on, don’t be an idiot. Tell me.

—A. Swap. How else do you want me to say it?

—Really? —She raised her eyebrows in exaggerated astonishment—. Funny, isn’t it? You didn’t tell him I already fucked him the night he stuck that huge cock in me, did you? —She laughed.

—How could I tell him that?

—I’m kidding. I thought you’d be excited about it too —I steered the conversation back—. You told me once that you’d like to swap.

—I said it in general. This is specific. And it seems to me you’re the one who wants it.

—If it excites you, it embarrasses me, but if it’s going to happen someday, I’d rather it happen now. And Rubén is the one who’d turn me on the most… —She bit her lip.

—I’m not sure about it. I’m not very attracted to Beatriz.

—Then there’s nothing more to discuss. —And I could have sworn I detected a note of disappointment.

—But you want to.

—Whatever.

—On the other hand, maybe it would turn me on to watch him put that huge cock in you.

—Maybe it’s tiny. —She made a ridiculous gesture with her fingers, holding them barely a couple of centimeters apart.

—Ha. It wouldn’t be that small even on the coldest day. But when he comes across this… —I touched her through her panties— …it’ll swell to the size of my forearm. —And I clenched my fist as I pointed it out.

—You’re going to get me horny.

We ended up fucking, of course. In the calm afterward, I told her:

—Then tomorrow I’ll tell him yes.

—Don’t be ridiculous. Really? Are you sure? I’m embarrassed, but I won’t deny I’m curious. I’m a little wet, how embarrassing. You realize he’s really going to put it in me, whatever size it is. You don’t mind?

—You have two days to blush, because on Saturday he’s going to put it in you, and I know you’re going to enjoy it.

I didn’t want her to lie and say no, nor did I want her to say yes too eagerly and make me jealous, so I silenced her with a kiss.

***

The next day I looked for a moment alone with Rubén.

—I talked to Noelia. We say yes. If you want, this Saturday.

—Seriously? Fuck, I’m getting hard right here. I can’t do Saturday. Come to our place for lunch on Sunday; we’ll have more room. I have a bedroom with two big beds. I assume you’ll want us all together, right? It’s more exciting.

—I don’t know if it’s more exciting. I suppose. It’s our first time.

—Your first time? How exciting! So Noelia’s a virgin at this. And you are too.

—I get the feeling you’re much more interested in Noelia than in me.

—Well, she’s prettier than you. —He laughed—. And I’ve seen plenty of you. Come on, let’s stop fooling around. Sunday: good food. Don’t bring anything; we’ve got everything.

When I got home, I told Noelia the plan. I didn’t touch her: I was jealous of confirming that she was wet, and I was sure she was.

The days until Sunday passed slowly, and then Sunday arrived in a flash. Time is strange. Noelia had bought new lingerie; I asked her to wash it once so it wouldn’t be so obvious that it was brand-new. She hadn’t chosen anything too provocative; she was embarrassed that her desire might show.

They lived fifty kilometers from Valencia. We took the car. Noelia was nervous but excited; the smile never left her face during the whole trip.

—If you really want to watch me with Rubén, I can let you know when it’s about to happen. Do you want me to?

—Okay. We’ll see what it feels like.

They welcomed us warmly, dog included, since for some reason she always made a huge fuss over me. We drank wine with lunch, and Noelia drank more than she usually did, which worried me, but nothing happened. Halfway through the meal, Rubén announced the plan.

—In my experience, the best thing is to play spin the bottle first, to break the ice. The first person to end up naked, we all go to the bedroom. Sound good?

—Sure. It’ll be exciting —I said, without being even halfway convinced that it would.

***

Rubén brought out an empty champagne bottle. He liked big tits, and Beatriz’s were enormous. I liked small ones, and Noelia, dressed, seemed to have more than she actually did. Small, pretty breasts, both of them in their own size. I thought it would disappoint everyone, but it didn’t.

Beatriz was the first to have to show hers, which was better, since she was more uninhibited. Seeing them made me curious more than anything else, and they were pretty. When it was Noelia’s turn, Rubén stood up.

—Let me undo it for you. —He positioned himself behind her, unclasped it, and immediately slipped his hands beneath the cups, taking hold of her breasts. Noelia let out a cry. He finished taking off her bra, left it on an armchair, and pressed himself against her back, one hand on each tit, kissing her neck.

Noelia sought me out with her eyes, turned her head, took Rubén by the chin, and gave him a short kiss.

—Rubén, she’s still my girlfriend. Remember that —I said, trying to sound more composed than I was.

—She is, she is. But today is a special day. Today, in a way, she’s mine. Just today. —He turned her around and hugged her face-to-face, chest to chest—. Daniel, if you feel bad, we’ll stop.

—No, no. Not a chance. —I put on a macho act for Noelia, who I was sure wanted this.

—I see you like previews —she said affectionately. She pinched one nipple until it stood erect between her fingers and drew Rubén’s head toward it so he could taste it. He licked it, kissed it, gently bit it, and she pulled his head away—. That’s enough. We’ll continue later.

I didn’t know whether Noelia had come to enjoy herself or was simply doing what the arrangement called for. Both, I suppose.

We finished the game. Rubén lost his pants, Beatriz her panties. To make up for what they had done, I ran a finger over Beatriz’s naked pussy, and she appreciated it. Then Rubén took Noelia by the hand and tugged her along.

—Let’s all go. We’ve earned it, and I think I speak for everyone when I say we’re eager.

I wasn’t at all sure I was eager. Not only was he going to fuck my girl; on top of that, he seemed to be telling me what I ought to feel. Out of courtesy, I took Beatriz by the shoulder and went in after them.

***

They had already chosen a bed. Rubén had sat Noelia down and took off his underwear. He wasn’t big; he was huge, or at least that was how I saw him at that moment. The two beds were set at an angle, separated by their footboards, so from one you could see the other perfectly, from slightly below.

—What a huge cock you have! —Noelia said in a storybook voice, like Little Red Riding Hood.

—It’s so I can eat you better. All ready for you today, just so you know. —And he advanced toward her, cock first, kissing her on the mouth.

Noelia was weak for kisses. This time she pressed herself against him and returned the kiss passionately, while lowering her hand and taking hold of him. I felt like an idiot. Rubén finished undressing her, lifted her into his arms, and placed her on the bed.

I paid more attention to the other bed than to Beatriz, and of course she noticed.

—I think you’re more interested in what’s happening over there. That happens sometimes, the first time. We can watch for as long as you want. But take off your clothes, so at least I can see you. —I took them off; I was hard—. It’s pretty. Let’s watch the show, and then I’ll eat you.

I watched. Rubén kissed Noelia all over her body, lingering over her breasts, one hand between her legs. She moaned and writhed with pleasure, and I suffered like the asshole I was, hard because of the wrong person. I was a voyeur at my own surrender. He lay on his side, caressing her clitoris in circles while brushing her lips without quite kissing her, and Noelia came clutching the sheet, placing her hand over his to make him stop. Naked, on her back, her legs slightly open, she was gorgeous.

Beatriz was caressing me. I looked at her and smiled.

—You’re a sweetheart —I told her, and I meant it.

—Don’t worry, keep watching. I like touching you. If you have any doubts, remember that Rubén is your friend and what you’re seeing is just sex.

I looked back. Noelia now had the instrument of my torture in her hand, tasted it with her tongue, and put it in her mouth, sliding the glans in and out. Suddenly she noticed me watching her and, smiling, ran her tongue over his frenulum.

—Daniel. Look. The way you like it. —And she put almost the whole thing back in her mouth.

—Can I eat you? —Beatriz distracted me.

—How about we lie down and kiss? —I replied, trying to steer things into a more logical channel.

We did, pressing our bodies together. It wasn’t unpleasant, not at all; having a woman offer you her body is beautiful. I kissed her, grabbed one of her tits, put my hand on her ass. I had never touched such a large breast, but a tit is a tit, and I kissed them. Beatriz enjoyed it.

—What tits! It’s not easy to see ones so big and beautiful —I told her, because I knew she was waiting for me to say it.

—Thank you.

—Daniel! —Noelia’s voice, now full of desire—. It’s going to happen. He’s going to put it in me. Look if you want.

I looked. In the missionary position, they were both watching the exact point where they were about to join. Rubén guided his cock with his hand, rubbing it against her.

—I’m going to put it in very slowly. You’ll like it. If it hurts, let me know and I’ll stop. —Noelia changed the register of her moan, from mmmm to ooooh, and he pushed.

I thought of the first time I put it in her. She wasn’t a virgin, but she wasn’t experienced either, and it felt delicious to me; and back then I didn’t even love her as much as I did now. Rubén’s was longer than mine, only a little thicker, fifteen percent, I calculated like an idiot. Noelia sought his mouth; they played with their tongues while they fucked, she caressed his neck, he pinched her nipples. They looked like two lovers. And once again, jealousy.

***

Meanwhile, Beatriz had crouched down and was taking my cock into her mouth.

—Sorry —I said. I hadn’t been paying attention to her.

—Don’t worry. Even if your mind is elsewhere, your cock is tasty and stiff. Clearly watching your girl turns you on.

—Turn around and I’ll eat you too.

She positioned her pussy at mouth level, and I started licking her, first her lips, then her clitoris, while she sucked me. She was wet despite my halfhearted attention. Hers was a simpler pussy than Noelia’s: plump outer lips, thin inner ones, a small, hard clitoris.

—Oh, that feels so good —Noelia again. I looked away. Rubén had her completely inside him and they weren’t moving, just feeling it. She opened her eyes—. I feel so full. You can move now; it doesn’t hurt anymore. —He began slowly. I noticed my erection growing, or at least that was how it felt. When we fantasized in bed, Noelia enjoyed herself with me even while we talked about another cock. Now she was enjoying herself without me, with a real stranger’s cock, and it was Rubén who was inside her, not me.

Beatriz seemed to be the kind who orgasmed easily, because she had one despite my mediocre attention.

—Do you want to put it in me? —she asked softly.

—Yes. I’d really like to. —More than anything, I wanted to put it in her to find out what Rubén was feeling inside Noelia. As if I didn’t know. I put it in and left it deep inside for a while, as they had done. Beatriz’s vagina was pleasurable and tight, almost childlike, and she was kind. I made her come again, but I couldn’t.

I saw that the other couple had changed positions. Noelia was riding him, and I could see the cock going in and out. I knew her well: she was approaching climax. They had started slowly in the missionary position and ended in a savage fuck that only eased when she began to come, her legs closing and her ass trembling, while he emptied himself inside her and dug his fingers into her buttocks until they left marks.

Since I still hadn’t come, Beatriz begged me to let her suck me again. Now there were no distractions; the others were satisfied. I let myself go and did exactly the opposite of what they recommend, that thing about thinking of someone else so you can come with your partner. I thought of Noelia, imagined she was the one doing it to me, and with that stimulus I came. Beatriz swallowed my semen, the first time anyone had ever done that with me, and I liked it.

***

We got dressed and the four of us went out for a walk, each sheep back with its own partner. I held Noelia’s hand, and feeling that hand seemed like the sweetest thing in the world. We said goodbye with hugs, nothing more.

On the way back, in the car, we talked.

—I really enjoyed it, but I’m looking forward to getting home and holding you in bed.

—You fucked so deeply, gave yourself over so completely, that I got a little jealous —I confessed.

—You have no reason to be jealous. I enjoyed it, yes. It’s the first time I’ve had sex with someone without anything else involved. The few times before you, there was some falling in love, and with you, don’t even get me started. Today we broke a taboo, and that’s all.

—I couldn’t help it. But everything’s fine.

—I thought you wanted me to do it. Even to let you know.

—Shhh. I told you to let me know. Everything’s fine. —And I covered her mouth with my hand.

—I want you to understand something, Daniel. Rubén is a good lover, and so are you. He’s got a big one and knows how to use it, I’m sorry. Yours isn’t as big, but I love it, and I love it when you put it in me. But this is what matters: Rubén would never hold my hand the way you do. Not for now. And I understood that today.

—Well, speaking of that, if you’re not too tired, I’d like to put it in you for a little while, even if we don’t do anything else. I’ve missed your vagina.

—Okay. You make dinner and I’ll take a shower. I’m sorry, but I must have remnants of Rubén inside me and I’d rather wash them out. I know you did all this for me and not for yourself, and I appreciate it. I love you, although it seems I’ve had a fling and you had one too, a little. And I know that, jealousy and all, seeing me turned you on more than fucking Beatriz did. I noticed you watching me.

Hearing her mention the remnants of Rubén inside her, I imagined it again: his hand on her clitoris, emptying himself inside her, the spurts. And I grew enormous.

—Then you’re right. And I love you too. What we did today was break a taboo that was worth breaking. And if we ever feel like it, we’ll think about whether to do it again.