My Friend and the Threesome She Never Wanted to Tell Me About

The first time Valeria told me about the trip to Búzios was four days after she got back, in my kitchen, while we waited for the water to boil for mate. “I met a guy,” she told me, and when I asked for details she said, “I’ll tell you later.” That later lasted four months.

I heard the full version on a Friday night, sprawled out in her room with a half-finished bottle of white wine and YouTube playing something neither of us was listening to. Valeria was on the ottoman in an oversized T-shirt, one of those that used to fit her too tightly and now hung loose, her hair in a messy bun, and all of a sudden she burst out laughing for no apparent reason.

—Paula. I never told you everything about Búzios.

I sat up in a flash.

—What do you mean you never told me everything? There’s an “everything” I don’t know about?

—There’s a lot. Do you want the details or the summary?

—The details. All of them.

Valeria covered her face with her hands for a second, laughed, and started in.

It was in January, with her mother, by car from Buenos Aires to Rio and from there to Búzios. Two days on the road, one night in a cheap hotel in Rio, and on the third day they arrived in the town: cobblestone streets, bougainvillea everywhere, the smell of salt from any point. They stayed in a small pousada near João Fernandes beach, which has that blue water that looks edited but is completely real.

Her mother was forty-six and the kind of woman who stopped traffic without trying. Tall, blonde, with that way of moving some people have that makes others turn their heads almost without noticing. On the beaches of Búzios men came up to her with a regularity Valeria found almost comical: Brazilian guys with surfer bodies, tourists in expensive clothes, middle-aged men who knew exactly what they were doing. “¿De onde você é, linda?”, “Vem tomar um drink comigo.” Valeria’s mother thanked them with a smile and kept walking.

Valeria, beside her. Twenty-two years old, with a body she always described with the same word: “too much.” Too many curves, too much ass, too many tits that took three sizes bigger than what most of the locals had. On the beach, the ones who came up to her were always the wrong kind. The drunk men at sunset, the ones who looked at your mouth before they looked at your eyes, the ones who had already decided what you wanted before asking you. She felt invisible in a specific way: not that nobody saw her, but that the ones who did saw her wrong.

—It made my blood boil —she told me—. I’d walk around in my micro bikini with my chin up and think: let them look, fuck them. But inside I wanted to die.

On the fifth day Nicolás appeared. And with him, Mateo and Gabriel.

They were playing soccer in Geribá, the biggest beach, near the shore. Nicolás was twenty-three, dark-haired, with that face of a guy who knows he’s hot but would rather not mention it. Mateo was blond, thinner, with the manners of a bilingual private-school kid. Gabriel was Brazilian, twenty-four, fair skin contrasting with black hair, and a smile that shut down silences without effort. The three of them spent the summer together, sharing a rented house in Manguinhos.

They started talking the way people do on beaches abroad: no formal introduction, no pretext, as if they already knew each other. They had açaí at a kiosk, walked along Rua das Pedras looking in the shop windows, bought coconut caipirinhas in a plastic cup and sat on the sand watching the afternoon go by. Valeria told me Nicolás made her laugh in a way that wasn’t the way guys do when they’re trying to impress you. He laughed with her, not for her.

Three days passed like that. Valeria and the three of them, from beach to beach, from kiosk to kiosk, nothing happening beyond conversation and casual touches. On the fourth day, at sunset, Nicolás invited her over to the house.

—The guys are there, let’s have a drink. I’ll take you back after.

Her mother was exhausted and gave her the okay without much thought. Valeria bought a little bottle of vodka on the way and got there at eight.

The house was rented by the week, small, with worn wicker furniture and only one decent bed in the main bedroom. The other rooms had cots that creaked just looking at them. They started with vodka mixed with orange soda, talking nonsense, and then Mateo suggested games.

“Never have I ever” started innocently enough. Never have I gotten lost in an airport, never have I eaten something without knowing what it was, never have I cried watching an animated movie. They drank quite a bit. Then the game migrated on its own to another territory, the way those things do when there’s enough alcohol and enough desire for them to migrate.

—Never have I ever been in a threesome —said Nicolás, looking at Valeria with a smile that wasn’t entirely innocent.

Valeria drank. The three of them got a little crazy.

—Never have I ever sucked someone off on the beach —said Gabriel.

They all drank.

They moved on to Truth or Dare when the vodka had already done its work. The dares escalated: first a kiss between Valeria and Nicolás, a long tongue kiss that he returned by sliding a hand under her shirt and squeezing one breast over the bikini bra. Then she touched the dicks of the other two over their shorts and felt the three hard cocks against her palm, each one with its own texture, each one swelling more when she squeezed them. Then she knelt in front of Nicolás and yanked his shorts down.

His cock sprang into her face. Thick, dark, with the head already shiny from the anticipation. Valeria took it with both hands, looked at it for a second as if measuring it, then opened her mouth and took it all the way in until the tip touched the back of her throat. Nicolás let out a rough moan and put a hand on the back of her neck. She started slow, sucking from the base to the head, leaving his balls wet with her tongue, spitting on it so everything would run with more sound. Then she picked up the pace until she was deepthroating his cock with both hands at the base, her mouth making a wet splashing sound every time he pushed her head down. Mateo and Gabriel had pulled down their shorts on the sofa and were jerking off while watching her, their cocks out, their hands moving back and forth slowly.

—That’s when I realized there was no turning back —she told me—. I was on my knees sucking a guy off that I’d met four days earlier, with two others jerking off beside me, and all I could think was that I wanted more.

The formal proposal came from Gabriel, with the same ease with which he’d suggested everything before. The consequence of the last round: Valeria stays with the three of them.

Silence. Valeria looked at Nicolás, with a strand of saliva and precum still hanging from her chin.

—Do you guys want to? —she asked, though she already knew the answer.

—Yeah —said Nicolás. Simple. No embellishment.

Valeria took a long sip from her glass.

—Condoms the whole time. That’s nonnegotiable.

—Of course —the three of them said, almost at the same time.

What I thought at that moment, Valeria told me, was that she’d taken that trip to feel truly desired, not from far away, not through indifference. And in that room there were three men with hard cocks because of her. That was enough.

They started with Nicolás alone, awkwardly at first. He took her to the main bed, yanked off her bikini, and bit one breast as soon as she was naked. Valeria has big tits and he latched onto them as if starving, sucking her nipples until they were hard and red, biting the side of her breast, leaving marks that would turn purple the next day. Then he went down, spread her legs, and buried his face in her pussy. He licked her clit patiently, with a flat, broad tongue, and slid in two fingers, curling them inside her, searching for that spot not everyone knows how to find. Valeria arched her back, grabbed his head with both hands, and shoved his face into her cunt until she came the first time, her legs shaking and her heels digging into his back.

The bed dipped in the middle and creaked with every movement. The first time Nicolás slipped while putting on the condom and had to grab the headboard, they both cracked up, and that broke something that made the scene feel more real and less like a movie. When he finally got it on properly, he turned her face down, lifted her ass by the hips, and pushed into her in one single thrust that made Valeria let out a half-smothered scream into the pillow. He started fucking her hard right away, his open hand in the middle of her back, his pelvis slamming against her ass with a sharp, wet sound.

Then the other two joined in. It was exactly what Valeria described as “a coordinated disaster”: heads bumping, positions not quite working, Gabriel going to the kitchen to get a bottle of coconut oil they used for cooking when Valeria asked Nicolás to put it in her ass, the bed making a noise that had to be audible from the street.

Mateo climbed onto the bed with the condom already on and shoved his cock into her mouth. Valeria opened wide and took him all the way in, while Nicolás kept fucking her pussy from behind. The two of them settled into a rhythm: when Nicolás pushed her forward, Valeria’s mouth sank down on Mateo’s cock; when he pulled back, she rose up. Gabriel, meanwhile, came up beside her, grabbed a breast, and licked it while jerking off slowly, waiting his turn.

They switched. They put her over Gabriel, her on top, riding him. Gabriel grabbed her by the waist and started lifting and lowering her on his cock with both hands, while Valeria braced her palms on his chest and moved her hips in circles. Nicolás got behind her. He poured a generous amount of coconut oil on her ass, put one finger in first, then two, and when he felt her loosen enough he lined up the tip and started pressing in slowly. Valeria went still for a second, mouth open, not breathing, until the head of Nicolás’s cock made its way in and entered all the way. Then she let out one long moan, the first she’d made all night.

They double-penetrated her for a long while. Gabriel in her pussy from below, Nicolás in her ass from behind, the two of them moving off-beat so she always had a cock inside her pushing. Mateo got hard in front of her face and Valeria opened her mouth without being asked. The three of them at once, taking her from three sides, while she moaned with her mouth full and her hands squeezing her own tits, twisting her nipples between her fingers.

—Never in my life have I felt so fucked —she told me, without smiling, as if stating a fact—. And never have I felt so at home inside my own body. It was weird.

They switched six or seven more times because no position ever worked quite right, and with every change someone laughed or apologized for bumping a head or an elbow. Valeria on her side with Gabriel behind and Mateo in front. Valeria on all fours with Nicolás in her ass and a cock in each hand. Valeria sitting on the edge of the bed sucking all three of them in turn, moving from one mouth to the next without letting go of the other two with her hands, leaving strings of saliva between cock and cock.

In the end they put her on her knees on the floor, on the rug. The three of them took off their condoms at the same time, formed a tight semicircle around her, and started jerking off while looking at her face. Valeria opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, grabbed her tits and lifted them upward. Nicolás was first: he came in her mouth in a thick stream that she swallowed half of and half of which hung from her lip. Gabriel right after, also in her mouth, and some of it landed on her chin. Mateo came last, on her tits, a long stream that crossed from her cleavage to her neck.

Valeria stayed there for a second, kneeling, her face and chest smeared with semen, breathing hard. Sweaty, with the rug marks on her knees, and she told me that what she felt at that moment wasn’t exactly happiness. It was something closer to the satisfaction of having done something you knew you were going to do.

—Before cleaning up I asked them to take photos of me with my camera —she said, with a smile that was half embarrassment and half pride—. I wanted to remember. I still have them saved. My face is dripping and my eyes are shining. It’s the most honest photo anyone’s ever taken of me.

***

The next day, in the afternoon, Valeria went back to the house. The other two had gone surfing. Nicolás greeted her at the door with a different smile, quieter, less playful.

—Today it’s just us —he told her.

That afternoon was something else. Nicolás was in no hurry. He kissed her slowly in the doorway, against the frame, one hand on the back of her neck and the other sliding down her back to grab her ass over her shorts. He took her to the bed without the creaking because they had put several blankets underneath to soften it. He took off her clothes one piece at a time, looking at her every time he uncovered part of her body, as if memorizing her.

He explored her without rushing. He kissed her neck, her collarbone, the space between her tits. He sucked her nipples slowly, one and then the other, making circles around them with his tongue and then sealing his lips and tugging just enough until she let out a sharp breath. He moved downward kissing her belly, paused for a while at her groin, and then settled between her legs and opened her pussy with his thumbs. He licked her clit with a patience he hadn’t had the night before, tracing letters with his tongue, alternating pressure and softness, sliding his whole tongue in and out of her cunt. He slid his fingers inside her and searched for that spot deep inside, and when he found it he stayed there, moving them only slightly, while still sucking her clit.

Valeria came trembling against the pillow, both hands gripping her hair, biting her lip so she wouldn’t scream too loud. When she finished she grabbed his hair and pulled him up, then returned the favor: she went down his body, sucked his balls first, one at a time, and then climbed up his dick with her tongue until she reached the head. She took him in her mouth without hurry, eyes closed, with that way of sucking that was no longer the way she’d done it the day before. The day before she’d done it to heat him up. That day she was doing it because she wanted him to like it.

Then he put on the condom and fucked her missionary, her legs spread and their hands entwined above the pillow. He fucked her slowly, his forehead pressed to hers, looking her in the eyes the whole time. Every time he entered her all the way, he let out a low moan that she answered with another. He murmured things in her ear, simple things like “you’re beautiful” and “I really like you,” and Valeria told me that for the first time on that trip she believed someone.

They changed to spooning, him behind her, her leg lifted over his and one hand on her clit while he fucked her from the side. He bit her shoulder when he came, a soft bite, leaving a mark. They rested a while and started again. With her on top after that, moving slowly, braced on his chest with her hands, lowering herself all the way and rising back up. And like that two more times that afternoon, no rush, no clock, staying inside a while even after he finished.

They lay there staring at the ceiling, silent for a while. Then Nicolás told her that the night before he’d had a good time, but that sharing her had made him a little uneasy, because he liked her in a more specific way. “But you were okay with it, so I didn’t complain,” he clarified. Valeria thought that was honest in a way that was unusual on that trip.

The days that were left, Valeria kept seeing only him. Sometimes at the house, sometimes hidden behind rocks on some quieter beach. One afternoon he took her to a lookout over the sea near Praia Brava, and they did it standing up with the wind and the sound of the waves in the background. She leaned against a rock, her dress pulled up to her waist, her panties shifted to one side, and he stood behind her fucking her slowly so as not to make noise, one hand over her mouth because there were people far off. He came inside her, with the condom on, biting her neck. Before Valeria went back to Buenos Aires, Nicolás asked for her number. “When you’re in BA, text me. I want to keep seeing you.” Valeria said yes, thrilled in a way she tried to hide.

***

The penultimate day, Valeria went out walking alone on Geribá to clear her head. That’s when a Brazilian guy appeared, not the kind who asks permission to come over: big, dark, tattooed on the arm, with that energy of people who know exactly what they want and say it without beating around the bush. He hit on her directly. Valeria, still hot from the day before and with that mix of confidence and nihilism that comes at the end of a vacation, said yes.

It was intense in a completely different way. The guy took her to a nearby apartment and didn’t waste time on conversation. As soon as he closed the door he pressed her against the wall, grabbed her jaw with one hand, and kissed her, shoving his whole tongue into her mouth. With the other he yanked down her bikini shorts and slid two fingers into her cunt without preamble, finding her already wet.

—Qué puta que tás, hein —he told her in Portuguese, with a smile that wasn’t exactly kind.

He took her to the mattress on the living room floor, no sheet, and put her on all fours from the start. He tore off what was left of her bikini and tossed it aside. He spread her ass with both hands and spat on her cunt, then stood behind her and drove into her all at once, no condom, no foreplay. Valeria let out a cry and he grabbed the hair in her bun and yanked her head back, fucking her hard, slapping her ass so hard it left the imprint of his hand red on her skin.

—Ask for more —he told her—. Say it to me in Spanish, I want to hear it.

—More —Valeria said—. Harder. Fuck me harder.

And he fucked her harder, until the sound of thighs slapping against her ass could be heard from the hallway. He grabbed her tits from behind and squeezed them until they hurt. He pulled her down from all fours and turned her onto her back, lifted her legs, and rested them on his shoulders, folding her almost in half. He shoved into her again and fucked her looking her in the eyes with a smile that wasn’t friendly, spitting on her tits now and then and rubbing the saliva over her chest.

Then he turned her onto her side, lifted one leg, and without saying a word switched holes. He gave her anal without warning and without lubricant, just with the saliva and the fluid she already had from before, making her curse out loud, bite the pillow, and yet turning her on in ways she couldn’t fully explain. He fucked her ass for a long while, no rush, stopping when she panted too hard and starting again more slowly. He slipped two fingers into her cunt while he kept fucking her ass and Valeria’s vision went blurry.

—You’re going to come in my hand —he told her—. Now.

And she came. A strange orgasm, unlike any she’d had with Nicolás, coming from a part of her body she didn’t recognize as her own, and it pulled a guttural moan out of her that made her a little embarrassed to hear herself.

When he was about to finish, he pulled out and put her on her knees on the floor. He shoved his cock down her throat, holding her head with both hands, giving her short thrusts while she gagged and her eyes filled with tears. He came in her mouth, a long thick stream, and squeezed her jaw with his hand so she wouldn’t spit. Valeria swallowed it all.

Afterward he called her an Uber with a kindness that seemed almost bizarre given the circumstances. He offered her a bottle of water for the ride and opened the street door for her.

In the Uber, with sand on her thighs, semen still at the corners of her mouth, and her ass burning, she thought: I feel used and at the same time completely alive. I don’t know what that says about me. She didn’t have an answer. She showered, put on the same clothes, and went to dinner with her mother as if nothing had happened.

***

The last day was with Nicolás. Dim lights, soft music, with that calm that comes on the last times when both people know it’s the last time. They undressed without hurry and that time there was no posing or switching, just him on top of her, her legs crossed behind his waist, fucking slowly, stretching everything out as much as possible. She came twice like that, the second time almost at the same time as him, biting his shoulder and digging her nails into his back.

After sex they talked for an hour in bed: about their jobs, Buenos Aires, the plans they had and the ones they didn’t. They discovered they had things in common they hadn’t mentioned before, or only mention when there isn’t much time left. Valeria told me that hour of talking was the most real part of the whole trip.

And at one point, without thinking too much about it, she told him about the Brazilian guy from the day before.

Nicolás went quiet. Valeria noticed the change immediately: his eyes hardened, the smile turned polite. “Oh, crazy,” he said. Nothing else. He gave her a dry goodbye kiss on the cheek. He never wrote again. Not when she got back to Buenos Aires, not on New Year’s, not ever.

Valeria kept staring at the wine glass with that smile that never reaches the eyes.

—Funny, right? —she said—. The guy who shared me with his two friends got offended because I fucked someone else on my own. That’s how people’s heads work.

She paused for a long time. Then:

—My mom didn’t fuck even once on the whole trip. The Brazilian she met on the first day took her to dinner at the best restaurants in town, took her out on a boat at sunset, sent flowers to the hotel. She came back to Buenos Aires glowing, telling me, “he was such a gentleman, we talked about everything.” And they’re set to see each other when he comes for work. I fucked four different guys, swallowed liters of cum, let them do things to me I didn’t even tell the mirror, and still came back alone. Always the same story: she wins without effort, I do everything and end up empty-handed.

She laughed softly, but her eyes didn’t follow the laugh.

—Maybe someday a guy will show up who won’t be disgusted. Or maybe not. But for now, this is what I get.

She raised her glass in a toast.

I was left speechless because she was right about something I don’t know how to name properly. The two of them had gone to the same place, the same beaches, under the same January sun. One came back with something that might not last but was hers. The other came back with memories, with photos on a digital camera, and with the feeling of having been very close to desire without being able to stay the night in it.

—Should we order another bottle? —I asked.

—Let’s order another bottle —Valeria said.

And that’s what we did.