The Fantasy I Went to Watch and Ended Up Living
I’ve always been a curious woman, open to trying new things. In bed too. Life is too short and too easily complicated not to enjoy what you have at hand, whether it’s a glass of wine at the end of the day or a good fuck.
I had been married for several years already, and my marriage was going through one of those stages nobody talks about at weddings. My husband was a good man and a present father, but between us something had gone out that neither of us knew how to light again. I felt my days passing inside a routine that tightened my chest. And he did nothing to change it, neither with words nor with gestures. He left me to languish between the same four walls, and that was certainly not the life I had imagined for myself.
So, in the face of his apathy, I started moving on my own. I would have preferred to do it with him, but things turned out differently. I opened an account on one of those dating sites and had a couple of encounters I’ll tell you about another day.
I had a friend whom I’ll call Damián here. He was a great guy, single, without prejudices, one of those who live sex the way other people breathe. He told me his stories and I listened to him with my mouth open, not because they scandalized me, but because nothing like that had ever happened to me. I felt a clean envy, without bitterness. When I got home after those conversations I couldn’t help asking myself when I had lost the heat, the sensuality, that thrill of provoking someone and watching them follow you.
One afternoon, when we’d met up for coffee, Damián told me they were organizing a gift for a friend of his whom I didn’t know.
—That’s easy —I told him—. You find out what she likes and you have a thousand options.
—This gift is special —he replied, looking at me with a crooked smile—. She asked us for it.
—Even better. Then you don’t even have to think.
—What she’s asked us —he continued, lowering his voice— is to fulfill a fantasy she’s had for a long time. She wants to sleep with several men at once. Without knowing in advance how many, no numbers. She wants to find out how much she can take in a single night. And three friends and I are going to give her that, with all the arousal we can possibly create.
On the way home I could only think of two things. The first, that some women are lucky, women with fantasies someone bothers to make come true. The second, that there were friends willing to do that much.
***
The days went by and I couldn’t get the scene out of my head. I imagined it while washing dishes, while getting into bed beside a man who no longer even touched me. Until I couldn’t stand it anymore and called Damián.
—Hey —I blurted out—, the surprise you told me about for your friend… would you let me go as a spectator? You know my story; I’ve never seen anything like it. I promise I wouldn’t bother anyone, that I wouldn’t even open my mouth.
—It’s just that it doesn’t depend only on me —he hesitated—. There are the other three, the ones taking part. I don’t know what they’ll think. I’ll let you know.
It took him almost a week to answer, and I spent that week restless, like a teenager waiting for a phone call. Every day I wanted more to be inside one of those scenes they had told me about, even if it was only from a corner. When I finally saw his name light up on my phone, my throat went dry.
—Marina —he said—, we haven’t all agreed completely, but by majority, three to one, you can come. We’ll meet tomorrow and I’ll explain how it works.
The next day he gave me the instructions with the seriousness of someone organizing an operation.
—It’ll be at the Meridiano hotel, room 112, reserved under my name. You have to arrive at twelve-thirty at night, not a minute earlier. By then our friend will already have arrived with one of the group, and the rest of us will join little by little. And the most important thing: absolute silence, no matter what you see.
Absolute silence. I repeated those two words all the way back.
***
The day came. A Friday in November, cold and with a closed-in sky. Days before, I had told my husband I was going out with some friends for drinks. He didn’t even react. I put on the smallest panties I had and a bra that barely contained my breasts. There are outfits a woman puts on to be seen in, to be admired, and that was one of them. My husband saw it and didn’t ask anything. He also said nothing when I pulled a sweater tight to my body and a matching skirt over my hips.
What a pity, I thought while painting my lips in the mirror, that he doesn’t come close, doesn’t tear my clothes off and fuck me against the bookshelf. His loss.
At exactly the appointed time I walked into the hotel as if I were headed to the café, went up the stairs to the first floor and looked for the number on the doors. My heart was pounding in my throat. I knocked twice, softly, and five seconds later a guy a little over twenty opened the door, wearing almost nothing but a tiny thong. He didn’t say anything. I didn’t either. With a gesture he invited me in and pointed to an armchair by the window, where I was supposed to sit.
On a bed set apart from the headboard, there she was. Lying there in her underwear, her wrists tied and a blindfold covering her eyes. Two men ran their hands over her body, kissed her neck, bit her shoulder, whispered things I couldn’t make out. At one point they both took off the little they were wearing and, with a small pair of scissors, cut the girl’s panties and bra off. One started to penetrate her while the other offered his sex to her mouth. They were like that when someone knocked again at the door.
The one with her mouth occupied signaled for me to open it. It was Damián. My friend came in without saying a word, stripped with the ease of someone arriving home, and joined the bed. The one who had been fucking her gave him his place, and so, like a well-oiled wheel, the three of them took turns: while one penetrated her, another filled her mouth and the third rubbed his cock between her breasts or guided her hand so she would stroke him.
***
I was still in the armchair. I had taken off my shoes to be more comfortable and had the feeling of watching a live movie, with no screen between us. I loved seeing it, the wet noise of bodies, her muffled moans, the low-voiced commands. And at the same time it was killing me not being able to do anything but watch.
They decided to untie her hands, because she was going to need them. And then they called one last time. I opened the door, as I had the previous times. A man older than the other three came in, silent, with calm eyes. In less time than it takes to tell, he was already naked on the bed, and his cock was longer and thicker than his friends’. At that moment there were four men on top of a single woman: three of them filling every corner of her body and the fourth nibbling at her nipples until they made her arch.
How I envied her. I wanted to be the one lying on that bed, not the shadow in the armchair.
I was burning up. I could feel my underwear soaked through and my pulse beating between my legs. Without fully thinking it through, I lifted my skirt and, one hand between my thighs and the other over my breasts, I started touching myself in silence, sunk into the seat, watching.
Suddenly, the last one to arrive, the oldest, pulled away from the bed and came toward me. He took my hand, lifted me from the armchair and spoke very softly, almost brushing my ear.
—I feel like fucking you —he said.
—So do I —I answered, and my own voice sounded foreign to me.
Almost without realizing it I was naked, lying on one side of the bed, open for a stranger whose name I didn’t even know. I enjoyed myself as I hadn’t in years, feeling him enter me with a steady, confident force, like a machine that wasn’t in a hurry.
***
Then I felt another hand on my breasts. It was hers. The girl, still blindfolded, had stretched out her arm and was feeling for me, stroking me while the two of us were being fucked at the same time. I had never felt another woman touch me like that, and there, with her warm hand on my skin and that man inside me, I had the first orgasm of the night. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t break the only rule they had given me.
From that moment on everything overflowed. The man fucking me emptied himself inside me as if he’d been saving it up for a century, and before he’d withdrawn completely another of Damián’s friends was already on top of me, driving into me in a single thrust, all the way in, without a word. The first came close to my face so my mouth would return his hardness, and while I did that he whispered how well I fucked, that he only wanted to do it again with me.
Damián and another of them decided to switch women. My friend lay on his back, placed me on top of him and began moving me over him, setting the rhythm with his hands on my hips. The fourth, the only one I still hadn’t tried, took advantage of the position to settle in behind me. He entered slowly, carefully, finding Damián’s rhythm, and when the two of them had me at once, front and back, gradually increasing the speed, I understood it wasn’t the first time those two had done it together. That was when my second orgasm came, long and blinding, leaving me trembling against my friend’s chest.
After hours I couldn’t count, they took the blindfold off the girl. We looked at each other for a moment, both of us tousled and undone, and smiled like accomplices in something no one else would ever understand. We kept going a little longer, with no rush now, and then, just as we had arrived one by one, we left the hotel the same way.
I got home as the sky was beginning to lighten. I got into bed with my legs still weak and my body buzzing.
***
In the morning, my husband barely looked up from his coffee.
—Did you have a good time? —he asked, distracted.
—Well, the usual —I replied.
My knees were still trembling from having been with four men in a single night. But I kept my smile to myself, stirred my cup, and promised myself in silence that this would not end with just one time. That that night, and not the routine of that kitchen, was what I truly wanted for my life.
