Renata healed me slowly after that night

Renata let me sleep almost until six in the afternoon. When I opened my eyes, the whole apartment smelled of lavender and something sweet, like warm vanilla. The curtains were half closed, and the light of dusk came in orange bands across the sheets. It took me a second to orient myself, to remember the night before, to feel my whole body as if it belonged to someone else.

She was already up. I heard her before I saw her: the brush of her bare feet against the wooden floor, the clink of something glass on the nightstand. When I turned my head just a little, I saw her near the bed, looking at me with that tenderness she only showed me afterward.

She was naked, barely covered by a black silk robe she had left open without the slightest shame. Her hair was tied up in a loose bun and her face was washed clean, with no makeup at all. Like that, without the pose from the night, she looked like another woman. Softer. More mine.

—Come here, my love —she said softly, sitting on the edge of the mattress—. Today we’re not going to play at anything. Today we’re just going to take care of you.

I wanted to answer something, but all that came out was a sigh. My throat was dry and my body heavy, like after a fever. Renata understood without me saying anything. She always understood.

She helped me turn onto my stomach with almost exaggerated care, holding my hip with both hands so the movement wouldn’t jolt me. My ass was still throbbing, hot, with every beat of my heart. I let out a whimper when the pillow caught me.

—Shhh… I know, I know —she murmured—. You’re still very open. Let me.

I heard her open the jar. It was the coconut oil with aloe she kept for nights like these, the one she would warm between her palms first so the cold wouldn’t startle me. She had promised me the night before, between gasps, and she had kept that promise.

Her hands landed on my buttocks like two warm, living things. She started slowly, with almost no pressure, spreading the oil in wide circles. My skin burned, but the heat of her palms and the oil mixed into something that didn’t quite feel like pain.

—Relax —she whispered—. I’m in no hurry. We have the whole afternoon.

I slowly began to loosen. First my shoulders, then my back, and finally my legs, which opened on their own a few inches over the mattress. Renata worked patiently, kneading the swollen spots carefully, avoiding the center, only brushing around it with the tips of her fingers.

—Everything’s sensitive —I said into the pillow, my voice thick.

—That’s why I’m not going inside —she answered—. Today nothing goes inside. Today I’m only touching you from the outside.

Her fingers slipped around my irritated hole without pressing, only stroking, spreading the warm oil over the bruised skin. Every time she passed near it, I held my breath, waiting for pain that never came. In its place came a strange relief, almost sweet, that climbed up my back and left my whole body slack.

—It hurts… —I murmured—. But it feels so good when you touch me like that.

She said nothing. She only bent down.

I felt her breath first, then her mouth. She started kissing my buttocks with slow, wet, unhurried kisses, as if she had all the time in the world to heal me one kiss at a time. My face was sunk into the pillow and my eyes were closed, focused on every point where her lips landed.

Then came her tongue. Warm and flat, it moved over the swollen skin without going in, just licking with a softness that made me tremble. She wasn’t trying to open me. She was trying to soothe me. She licked the sting as if she could erase it.

—Ahhh… Renata… —I moaned, and my voice came out higher, more mine than I dared acknowledge by day.

—That’s it, my girl —she whispered against my skin—. Let me heal you. Let me.

I opened my legs a little more, purely by instinct, offering her what was already all bruised up. She kept going, patient, alternating kisses and tongue, her hands always on my hips to steady me. There was no demand in anything she did. Only care.

***

When she felt my body had loosened completely, she turned me over. She did it slowly, supporting my back, helping me shift my weight so my ass wouldn’t rub against the sheet. I ended up on my back, open and surrendered, looking up at her.

Renata lay down on her side, close to me, one leg crossed over mine. She brushed a strand of hair off my forehead and looked at me for a long time, as if checking that I was still whole.

—Are you with me? —she asked.

—I am —I said, smiling faintly.

Then she lowered her head and started on my tits. They were still new, everything in me was still new, and they were sensitive, with a pink mark from the night before that was already turning purple. But her lips were so soft that the marks didn’t hurt: there was only pleasure when she kissed me there.

She licked one nipple slowly, tracing circles with the tip of her tongue, and I arched my back just a little. The tingling rose from my chest to the nape of my neck.

—They’re so pretty —she said, lifting her eyes to mine without taking her mouth away—. Still sensitive, right?

—Yeah… —I gasped—. A lot. But I love it when you kiss them like that.

—I know.

She moved from one breast to the other with the same calm, sucking gently, letting go, kissing again. Every time she closed her lips over a nipple I felt a warm current running down my stomach and making me squeeze my thighs together. It wasn’t the rough pleasure of the night before. It was something slower, something that stayed, that spread through my whole body instead of gathering in one spot.

Renata kept going lower. She kissed my sternum, the edge of my ribs, my soft belly, my hip bone. She scattered short kisses all over my skin, as if marking a path she already knew by heart. I let her do it, sunk into the mattress, arms open at my sides.

She reached the bottom. To what the hormones had made small, pink, and absurdly sensitive. It wasn’t what it had been anymore. It was only a point of pleasure between my legs, soft to the touch, reacting to the slightest caress. She treated it like what it was now.

She kissed it first. A long, closed kiss, no tongue. I squeezed my eyes shut.

—Look at me —she said.

I opened my eyes. And then she took it into her mouth, slowly, sucking with a softness that tore from me a long, sharp moan, womanly, the kind that just came out of me now without me having to fake anything.

—Ahhh… Renata… slowly… it’s really sensitive…

She didn’t speed up. That was the difference. The night before everything had been fast, hard, relentless, and I had begged for more, screaming. Now she licked patiently, sucked only a little, stopped every time she felt me tense too much. One of her hands stayed down there, stroking my swollen ass on the outside, spreading what was left of the warm oil.

The pleasure was different. Deeper. It didn’t rise like a breaking wave; it rose like a tide, slowly, filling everything. My fingers were tangled in her hair, not pulling, just holding onto her.

—That’s it, my love —she murmured without taking her mouth away—. You don’t have to rush. Let it come on its own.

And it came on its own. After several minutes of that patient tongue, I came softly, almost without force, releasing a weak little thread while I trembled all over and moaned her name with my voice broken into pieces. It wasn’t an explosion. It was something that overflowed slowly and left me empty and warm, with wet eyes and not really knowing why.

Renata moved back up my body slowly, leaving a trail of kisses, and reached my mouth. She kissed me affectionately, unhurried, sharing my own taste. I returned the kiss with all the little I had left.

***

—How do you feel now? —she asked, pulling back just enough to look into my eyes.

I thought about it. I took inventory of my body. My ass still burned, my tits tingled, my legs were weak, and my chest was full of something I couldn’t name.

—My ass still hurts —I said with a tired laugh—. But I feel cared for. I feel like I’m yours.

She stroked my cheek with her thumb.

—Last night I felt like such a slut —I went on, quietly, confessing something that was hard for me to say even to her—. And today I feel very much like a woman. I don’t know which one of the two I really am.

Renata hugged me hard against her body. I felt my new tits pressed against hers, her warm skin, the beat of her heart against mine. She spoke into my ear slowly, like someone explaining something important to someone who’s afraid.

—Both —she said—. That’s the thing, my love. Some nights you’re going to be the dirtiest slut in the world, the one who asks me for things that can’t be said out loud. And other nights you’re going to be my girl, my Lucía, the one who needs to be cared for and loved. Both are you. And I’m going to love you in both versions.

I stayed silent for a long time, my face resting on her shoulder, breathing in the smell of her skin. Outside, the sky had turned violet and the room was gradually going dark. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want that afternoon to end.

—Can I sleep holding onto you today? —I asked, and my voice came out tiny, almost like a little girl’s.

—Of course, my pretty one —she answered, smiling against my hair—. Tonight you sleep with me. And tomorrow, if you’re feeling better, I’m going to give you a slightly more intense session. But always with tenderness. Always.

She kissed my forehead, long and soft. Then she stretched out to pull the sheet over both of us and covered me carefully, measuring every movement so she wouldn’t press on my sore ass. She wrapped her arms around me from behind, fitting her body to mine, one hand on my belly.

I felt her semi-erect cock resting between my buttocks, warm, still, with no intention of going in. That night wasn’t for that. That night was just for being there. And in some way that moved me more than anything she had ever done to me in bed.

I stayed like that, feeling her slow breathing at the nape of my neck, the sting gradually fading in my ass, the tingling that was still left in my tits. And the guilt. That old guilt that had been with me for years, the one that used to wake me in the middle of the night with my heart clenched.

For the first time in a long while, I felt it far away. Manageable. Like a voice speaking from another room that could no longer reach me.

I closed my eyes. Renata’s arm weighed over me like a promise. Her breathing set my rhythm. And before I fell asleep, in that warm border between being awake and not, I realized something I had never quite dared to think fully.

For the first time I felt completely at peace with what I was becoming.