What I Kept Silent When His Girlfriend Came to Look for Him

Raquel came face to face with Daniela when she opened the door. She had shown up half-heartedly, dragging her feet, when the doorbell rang for the second time. She had expected anything but that face.

—Dani, what a surprise. I thought it was Adrián; I figured he’d forgotten his keys again. —Her polite smile looked more like a mask than a genuine expression.

—I was meeting him here, at your place. Isn’t he in?

—Wasn’t he with you? He left quite a while ago.

She led her into the living room while the girl checked her messages on her phone, frowning.

—Well, apparently he ran late at the gym and is on his way back from there now. I don’t know where that man keeps his head — Daniela grumbled. —Sometimes I think he cares more about himself than about me.

Raquel made her sit on the sofa and noticed her hands trembling slightly. She hid them by crossing her arms.

—I’ll make you some tea while he gets here. Or would you rather have coffee?

—No need, really.

But her host ignored her and came back from the kitchen with a steaming teapot, a pot of hot coffee, another of milk, and a pile of biscuits. For herself she made a strong coffee, as if caffeine could burn away what she felt churning in her stomach.

—Help yourself to whatever you want — she told the girl.

—You’re… you’re very kind. No wonder Adrián talks about you so much.

—Oh, really? He talks to you about me?

—All the time. It’s like, for him, there’s only one woman in the world. One of these days I’m going to start getting jealous.

—Oh, shut it, silly girl. It can’t be that bad. —A stab of guilt shot up through her gut and, instinctively, she rubbed the back of her hand as if she could still feel the warm dampness of his semen there—. And what does he say?

—That you’re amazing and that you look after him like he’s a kid. That you’re always paying attention to him, that you cook exactly what he likes, that you never have a bad day when he’s around. —She paused, uncertainly—. And that you’ve been a bit crushed by Esteban’s absence. That being without him is hard for you. Every time we meet, he comes in worried about leaving you alone in this huge house.

Raquel lowered her head, weighed down. She hadn’t known her mood was public knowledge. It unnerved her that even Daniela felt sorry for her. Suddenly, the panties she had hidden at the back of a drawer and that afternoon alone with Adrián started stinging more than they should, and not just because her partner was absent.

—He already told me you two argued because of him —the girl continued—. Don’t hold it too much against him. Adrián can be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but deep down he’s got a good heart.

Raquel nearly dropped her cup. She could barely glance at her sidelong. She took a sip, trying to hide how nervous she had just become, and fixed her eyes on the dark bottom of her coffee.

—What did he tell you?

—Not much. That he’d messed up with you, but he didn’t explain much more.

Raquel nodded slowly, still looking at the cup.

—What happened? —Daniela asked.

Another jolt in her stomach. Her fingers tightened around the hot porcelain.

—My own stupid nonsense —she said, jumping in ahead of it—. Lately I suppose I’ve been more touchy than usual.

—You can tell me. Honestly, I’m interested.

Raquel shook her head and waved a hand through the air, brushing it off, but Daniela kept watching her with the same curious expression, waiting for the doubt about her boyfriend to be cleared up. The seconds passed in a silence that was starting to become far too awkward. The girl did not seem willing to give up on getting a reassuring answer.

Raquel stroked the rim of the cup with her thumb.

—He started messing around with some glasses and they all ended up on the floor, smashed to pieces.

Daniela tilted her head and narrowed her eyes.

—How curious. Adrián told me it was because the room was a total pigsty.

Raquel tried not to let her mouth fall open. Adrián’s girlfriend might be very young, but she wasn’t stupid in the slightest. She fixed her gaze on the coffee, praying the matter would end there.

—I see I was right not to believe him when he told me that —Daniela added—. And I don’t believe you either. —Her tone was not hostile, but intrigued.

Now she really did close her eyes with a defeated expression and let the air out of her lungs in a slow sigh. For the first time she met the girl’s eyes. She wondered how much she knew about the truth of her affair with Adrián. Daniela didn’t seem angry, but Raquel could sense in her face the determination of someone hunting for something she secretly would rather not find.

—Raquel, if it’s something serious, I want to know.

She must have sensed that the cause of that bad relationship was much worse than that bullshit excuse. Raquel drew breath again and let it out in another sigh.

—He came into my bathroom while I was showering —she said, unfazed, watching Daniela’s reaction—. You know what he’s like, coming and going as if the house were only his. He didn’t knock, and he caught me off guard.

Daniela nodded once, as if validating the information, without stopping her mental calculations.

—That wasn’t what made me angry —Raquel went on—. It was him starting with his damn wisecracks and making fun of me while I didn’t have enough hands to cover myself with the towel.

The young woman’s next nod was firmer.

—Yes —she whispered to herself—, typical of him.

—I’m not going to make a drama out of him seeing me naked —she said, in a colder voice than she had intended—, but I’m not going to let him treat me like a puppet, no matter how much of his father’s son he is.

Daniela still did not look away, her big eyes fixed on her as if in the polished surface of her expression she could guess how much truth there was in all that. The heat of the coffee mixed with the blush rising in Raquel’s cheeks, and she finally looked away.

—I screamed like a madwoman, I lost my temper —she said, bolstering the lie—. But I’m still waiting for an apology.

—And he’s going to give you one, I’m sure —the girl replied, moving closer to hug her—. I know it hurts him to be on bad terms with you.

She took the same hand with which, two days earlier, she had masturbated him on the sofa, and kissed the back of it. Raquel had to close her eyes so she wouldn’t hate herself even more.

***

She remembered it with a clarity that shamed her. The stormy afternoon, the house dimly lit, Adrián stretched out beside her with that smile that knew exactly what it could provoke. “Just once,” she had thought, “just this and never again.” Her hand had moved without permission, guided by something stronger than guilt, and he had let her do it, holding his breath, biting his lip the same way his girlfriend did now when she hesitated. The heat of his skin, the way he had tensed until finishing against her wrist, the thick silence that came after. Every detail was burned into her.

And now his girlfriend is kissing my hand. The same hand.

***

—It hurts me too, don’t think otherwise —Raquel said, and that much was true—. But a little distance won’t hurt him either, so he learns not to disrespect me.

—Sure. —Daniela drew in a deep breath and let it out in an exaggerated gesture—. Though in the meantime, I’m the one paying for his frustration.

—Well, I’m sorry. He told me something about your problem.

—How?

—Well, I didn’t want to say problem, more like… his obsession, you know.

Daniela made a confused face. She didn’t seem very convinced she “knew,” although a premonition was beginning to take root inside her. Raquel tried to be more specific and immediately regretted it.

—I mean… —she pointed to her own crotch, but only managed to make the girl’s eyes widen in alarm. The premonition turned into doubt.

—What? Raquel, please, be more specific.

She ran her fingers through her hair, from her temple to the nape of her neck, regretting that she was once again getting herself into a mess.

—Well, that… lately he’s obsessed with… —She pointed to her own crotch again, but this time made an unmistakable gesture with both hands.

Daniela went pale, connecting the wrong dots.

—You can’t mean the panties thing!?

Now it was Raquel’s turn to nearly faint, blinking in stunned disbelief, not sure what she had just heard. The girl, who had not taken her eyes off her expression, deduced what she should not have once more.

—Shit, fuck. —She clutched her head and massaged her temples—. I told him that if anyone found out, I’d die. I told him! With how embarrassed I am wearing another girl’s underwear.

—Wh… what do you mean?

—Well, that thing the other day, that fantasy about me wearing them while… you know. You were talking about that, right?

Another wave of heat rose to Raquel’s face and she had to wipe the sweat from her forehead.

—But… he gives them to you… for you to put them on? And… are you wearing them now?

—No, what? No, of course not. Only when we were in the middle of the fantasy, but, damn, I’m stunned that he told you. You shouldn’t know about that.

—Or maybe I do, huh, sweetheart? —She had gone stiff as a board—. Look at how funny I find that.

—And why do you care? —the girl shot back, hurt.

—Why do I care? Listen, honey, you’re putting on panties that aren’t yours.

—Nor yours, for that matter. What does it matter if we use your friend’s clothes for our games?

—Not my friend’s, or anyone’s —Raquel began, and then she blinked several times, realizing the misunderstanding: the girl thought the stolen panties belonged to some third person, not to her. Relief and embarrassment rose together in her throat—. Because… because it’s not right to use other people’s things. And because I’m his father’s partner, which is almost like… like I were his mother glued on.

—And what’s that got to do with anything? We’re grown-ups already and you don’t get to tell us what to do —Daniela huffed, irritated—. And it’s really embarrassing that you know that about our private life. Now you know.

Raquel turned her face away and tried to calm down. The conversation was getting out of hand and, by a hair, the whole business of her own panties in Adrián’s drawer had not been exposed.

—Okay, sorry, you’re right. It’s just that… with the Esteban thing I’m very sensitive and lately I get irritated by anything. —A small silence fell between them—. Sorry, sweetie, don’t take it to heart.

Daniela seemed to soften at the apology and let her guard down a little. Raquel took the chance to move closer and open her arms.

—Come on, get over here, give me a hug.

The gesture dissolved almost all the tension in the air. Raquel held her tight, softened by a girl who let herself be swept along by the perversions of a boyfriend she idolized and from whom she herself had been a victim.

When they pulled apart, she looked her in the face.

—Listen, Dani, you don’t have to do everything Adrián asks you to.

—No, I do it because I like it —she said, shrugging—. It’s just part of a spicy game.

Raquel lifted an eyebrow, suspicious.

—Honestly —the girl insisted—. Even if it seems a bit masochistic to you, I like doing what he suggests. His games turn me on. —She ended it with poorly disguised mischief—. I suppose we all kind of like that stuff, right?

She didn’t know what to answer to that. Instead of words, she pressed her forehead to the girl’s. That boy was a magnet for women, and she was beginning to fear how he used such a gift.

—Do you think Adrián is a good boyfriend?

—I don’t know, what do you think? —She had pulled back a little and was looking at her expectantly.

Raquel was overcome by confusion again, and once more suspected that the girl knew more than she was letting on, baiting her with an answer she already knew.

—Me? Well, I don’t know… Why are you asking?

—You said it yourself, you’re almost like a mother glued on and you live under the same roof. You must know him better than I do.

—Oh, that’s why —she stammered—. No, well, we don’t really share that much. I couldn’t tell you. What matters is what you feel.

Daniela filled her lungs, thinking about the answer. When she let the air out, her expression touched, her eyes were full of something Raquel could only define as love.

—He loves me, even if he doesn’t always show it, and up to now he’s the best boyfriend I’ve had. Besides, my stepfather respects him and my mother adores him. So if they like him, he must be good for me.

Raquel smiled tenderly and kissed that girl on the cheek, a girl whose candor was far too genuine. An embrace finished melting them into one.

—You smell like lavender —Daniela said, breathing in with her eyes closed—, just like him. Must be because you use the same fabric softener for everything.

—Yes, that must be it. —A smile of tenderness and understanding.

—I love it. Sometimes it reminds me of… I don’t know, women’s underwear. Doesn’t it to you?

The smile froze on her face and, this time, she did not answer. She hid her face in the embrace, feeling that Daniela wasn’t hugging her back with the same force.