I Broke in My Toys in the Shower, Just Like She Asked

For months now I’ve been keeping up a very particular correspondence with a woman I met in another corner of the internet. Our emails don’t talk about the weather or work: we write to each other to masturbate. Sometimes I describe in full detail how I touch myself, which fingers I use, in what order; other times I’m the one giving the instructions and I wait for her reply with my breath held, knowing that on the other side she’s following every word.

Her name is Renata, or at least that’s what she told me to call her. She’s as shameless as I am, maybe more. We’ve gotten to challenging each other to try bolder and bolder objects, because until recently I didn’t own a single decent toy. I’d never bought anything. I made do with a couple of things from the house, whatever I had on hand, and I told Renata about my improvised tricks as if they were feats.

One afternoon, while I was half-distractedly checking my email, I got a message from her with a link. It was the page of an erotic shop, and in the cart there were already two things waiting: a realistic dildo and a pair of Ben Wa balls.

Put in your address, the email said. When my gifts arrive, you’ll masturbate with them and then tell me everything. Every detail. Got it?

I didn’t hesitate for a second. I filled in my details, confirmed the purchase, and from that moment on I could think of nothing else but the day the doorbell would ring.

***

They arrived sooner than I expected. A week later, I was finishing tying my sneakers to go to the gym when the doorbell rang. I took the stairs two at a time. It was the mail carrier, with a small, anonymous box addressed to me.

I opened it right there in the entryway, my hands trembling with pure curiosity. When I saw the size of the dildo, my mouth went dry. It was long, thick, with pronounced veins running along it and a heavy base. Too big, I thought, and instead of frightening me, that thought turned me on.

The first thing I did was put it in my mouth. Almost half of it was still outside, that’s how long it was. I played for a while with that warm silicone, sliding it in and out slowly, tracing the head with my tongue while a tingle crept up from my lower belly. I was almost ready to tell the gym to go to hell and stay home.

I forced myself to go. If I can hold out for an hour, I told myself, I’ll come back twice as hot.

***

And that’s exactly what happened. A full hour among the noise of the machines, watching men huff beneath the weight of the bars, the veins in their arms bulging, sweat running down their necks. The girls in their tight leggings stretching on the floor. With every rep I did, my head was somewhere else, in that open box waiting for me at home. By the time I finished, I was burning with need, squeezing my thighs together during every break between sets.

I came back almost running. The moment I closed the door, I started taking off my clothes, garment by garment, until I was naked in front of the hallway mirror. I paused to look at myself: my skin still red from the effort, a thin sheen of sweat, my nipples already hard from the temperature change. I liked what I saw. I liked how I was breathing.

I ran my hands over my body slowly, down to my sex, and confirmed what I already knew: I was drenched. I went to the box and took out the Ben Wa balls. I brought them to my mouth for a moment, more as a ritual than out of need, because my own fluids were more than enough to lubricate them.

I barely stroked myself, opening myself with two fingers, and started to insert them. The first went in with surprising ease. Then the second followed. I stayed still for a moment, letting my body get used to that new presence. It was a strange and delicious sensation at once: I felt full, though not completely, and every time I clenched to keep them in place, a current of pleasure shot through me inside.

I decided to leave them in while I got the shower ready. The dildo came with a suction cup, so I stuck it to the tiles, at just the right height, behind me. Not to use it yet. Just to feel it there, waiting.

***

The water started falling warm over my shoulders. I took the soap and soaped myself up slowly, unhurriedly, lingering over every area. With each movement, my back brushed the silicone tip against the tiles, and down below the Ben Wa balls kept doing their thing, that subtle weight that made me clench without even realizing it.

I was burning. It had been a long time since I’d felt so close to the edge, and the most incredible thing was that I’d hardly touched myself at all. It was all suggestion: the dildo rubbing against my ass, my own hands slipping through the foam, those balls working in silence. I pressed my back to the cold wall and started moving just a little, just enough to feel the silicone sliding between my butt cheeks while with the other hand I pinched a nipple and kneaded my breast.

My breathing turned heavy, broken. Without meaning to, I was moaning softly with every exhale, and hearing myself only turned me on more. The sound of the water, the firm cock against my body, my nipples—everything was pushing toward the same point.

“Oh, yes,” I heard myself say, and I no longer cared about raising my voice. “Just like that, come on, just like that.”

I was like someone possessed, talking to an empty room, clenching around the balls. I don’t know how long it lasted. I only know that suddenly that electricity I know so well shot up through my legs and exploded right in the center, leaving me trembling against the tiles.

I stayed still, holding onto the wall, letting the water wash over me while the orgasm slowly ebbed away. When I got a little control back, I carefully took out the Ben Wa balls. And then that urgent emptiness appeared, that need to fill the hole they had just left behind.

***

I peeled the dildo off the wall and set it on the shower floor, firm on its suction base, pointing upward. I stood there looking at it for a second, still shaking, while I started to play with my swollen clit, begging for attention.

I went back to the slow rubbing I love so much, in circles, and the moans came back immediately. Without stopping my touch, I straddled it, letting the tip find me. I had to go slowly: it was too thick and my body wasn’t used to something that size. I lowered myself centimeter by centimeter, feeling myself open, feeling each part of me mold around that enormous intrusion.

I braced my hands on the wet floor and started riding it gently. God, how full it felt. More than full. As my body gave way I was able to pick up speed, and then I really rode it, feeling it slide in and out, driving deep with every downward motion.

The moans turned into screams, a mix of pleasure and a little pain from the size of what I had inside me. I stayed like that for more than twenty minutes, nonstop, chased by an orgasm that kept announcing itself and never quite arriving. I wasn’t planning to stop. I kept going, and going, and going, the water pouring over me, my hair stuck to my face, my knees slipping.

When it finally came, I screamed like never before. I felt my fluids running down the silicone while my whole body shook in waves that wouldn’t let up. I stayed for a few minutes with the toy still inside me, leaning forward, catching my breath, unable to move.

I straightened up with my legs trembling, slowly, holding onto the shower door. My cunt was burning, open and throbbing after having such a huge cock inside me for so long. I let the water keep running a little longer, finally finishing the shower that had started an eternity ago, getting my breathing back in order.

***

As soon as I got out, wrapped in a towel and still with my pulse racing, I went straight to the computer. I wrote Renata a very long email, sparing not a single detail: the size that had made me tremble, the Ben Wa balls, the twenty minutes riding it, the final scream. I thanked her for every centimeter of her gifts.

When I reread what I’d sent her, I smiled. It was too good to keep just between us. And that’s why, truth be told, I thought it was a little unfair not to share it with you too.