The Guitarist I Found Again That Night

I still feel the touch of her curly hair between my fingers. She had a boyfriend, yes, but that night that meant nothing to either of us anymore. She kissed me like she’d been holding back for years, and I didn’t want to let her go for a single second. That’s how I’d imagined her so many times, until she stopped being a fantasy. I’ll admit I looked for her after a breakup, and it wasn’t the cleanest moment to do it. But she made me forget everything bad. She didn’t judge me, and I didn’t judge her either, and there we were, with her tongue still warm from my cunt and the taste of my come between the two of us.

With so much coming and going in my love life, after a couple of disappointments that left me broken, I couldn’t say exactly what led me to look for her. Maybe I simply opened my eyes and understood what life had been keeping for me in silence. My heart had never chosen well, I have to admit. Sometimes a pretty face and a magazine body are nothing more than mirages, and you let yourself get dazzled like an idiot.

I don’t want to fall into the cliché of saying that all too-pretty people are cruel, but my experience doesn’t let me lie completely. You never reach the top of their demands if you’re just an ordinary person. And the worst part is that someone better always shows up to remind you that you’re nothing, until you end up consuming yourself over a belief that wasn’t even yours.

That rainy afternoon, in front of the computer, I decided to get revenge on my ex in the most absurd way: I started following on Instagram a girl from her circle. Renata belonged to that group from college, although I knew very well my ex didn’t truly want her as a friend. She kept her close to feel better about herself, while dying of envy over everything Renata’s personality radiated without effort. I just connected the dots.

Before all that, she and I had already crossed paths. Friends of friends, that sort of thing. One random afternoon I was with my classmates playing guitar and singing during a free moment at the conservatory. Renata was with her group, but she broke away from them and came over to our table saying she liked what we were doing better. We’re Music Education students, if context is needed.

Back then I didn’t look at her with the passion I do now, but there was something about her that drew me in. The thing was, she was in her final year while I was only in my second, so we weren’t that close. We only ran into each other because I had gotten ahead in a third-year subject and she showed up from time to time with some contribution or another. Her name, though, was known all through the conservatory.

And saying it like this, without filters: I got distracted looking at one star by looking at something else. It hurts to admit it.

***

When I started following her, the first thing I noticed was her sobriety. A calmness, a shyness that seeped into her photos. Her black eyes seemed charming to me, a completely different profile from what I was used to. But time can’t be rewound and I didn’t expect her to pay attention to my whim. All I could do was keep following her and endure. And guess what: not even one night passed before the notification came that she was following me too.

For now all I had was her Instagram. I felt that liking one of her posts would betray me as needy, and I kind of was, because loneliness plays tricks on you. I didn’t want her to become the bandage over my wound. Something told me to take it slow, to get to know her first. In the last few months I’d been through things too intense and I was no longer willing to risk too much.

During the week she watched my stories and I watched hers. It was reciprocal, almost a silent game. Until one day her name stopped appearing in the viewer list and I panicked without understanding what was going on. Days passed and then I saw the post: Renata with her boyfriend, “anniversary celebration.” I didn’t like that one bit, so I decided to get on with my life and stop looking for her. After all, if we hadn’t connected in the past, we were even less likely to do it now.

Two days later she watched my story again. I didn’t know whether to be happy or not.

Honestly, I was no longer in the mood to compete with anyone. No matter how many things I knew how to do, that had always seemed to me like a useless waste of energy. He had come first, and that was already a fact. All I had left were the memories: the time she was talking with a friend and kept looking at me with a smile, the afternoon she spent with my group. I felt there was something special about her, but I hadn’t known how to appreciate it in time.

A lot happened after that and I lost track of her. I was about to go on vacation, I had performances with my band and, on top of that, some health problems that forced me to exercise and visit the nutritionist every so often. My life filled up with new things, but Renata’s image kept crossing my mind at the most unexpected moments. I couldn’t deny it: something about her had stayed engraved in me. Even so, I had decided that story was already closed.

***

Until one Friday, during a performance by my band, I saw her.

I hadn’t anticipated it. I was in the middle of the preparations, tuning the strings and making sure everything was ready, when I spotted her in the crowd. Renata, there, in the middle of the people, as if fate had decided this meeting could no longer be postponed. Her gaze met mine for just an instant and I felt the air around me grow denser. My heart sped up, but I tried to focus on the music, on what was in front of me.

The performance started and, while we played, my eyes kept searching for her. Sometimes I found her looking at me with an intensity that made me wonder what was going through her head. The songs went by, the lights washed over us, and I could only think about her, about what we had been and what we might become.

When it was all over and the applause began to fade, I saw her coming closer with that shy but bright smile. She looked at me as if she wanted to say something, but before I could take a step she was already in front of me.

—Hi —she said in that soft, warm voice of hers, as always.

I didn’t know what to answer at first, my mind still processing what had just happened. We stayed silent for a moment, as if words were unnecessary.

—I saw you play, you were incredible —she added, breaking the stillness with a sincerity that left a strange warmth in my chest.

—Thanks —I replied, trying to stay calm—. It’s been so long… I didn’t know if you’d remember me.

—Of course I remember you. What a crazy coincidence, running into you in this bar!

She said it laughing, and there was something in her eyes beyond what her words said. The line surprised me, because all this time I had believed I was the only one still thinking about the other.

I don’t know how much time passed, but the noise of the place faded away as we talked. We sat on a bench off to the side, next to the stage. I drank from a bottle of water, as if the rest of the world had stopped existing.

—How have you been? —she asked at last, in a tone that sounded more like a confession than a question.

—Good. Well, complicated lately. And you?

She smiled faintly, that smile that had always undone me.

—I think I also discovered some things about myself. And even though I never told you, I always wondered what would have happened if things had been different. Cheers to this coincidence, babe —she said, clinking her glass against my bottle.

Those words sank deeper into me than I expected. It wasn’t just about what was left unsaid, but about the decisions we make and the paths we choose. The conversation flowed as if time hadn’t passed, about simple things but loaded with meaning. We didn’t need labels or explanations. We were there, together, in the present, and that was the only thing that mattered.

In the end we fell silent, looking into each other’s eyes. Renata moved a little closer, her face softened, and before I realized it her lips found mine. It was a soft kiss, one that needed no explanation. As if everything we had left hanging resolved itself in that small gesture.

I pulled back slightly, trembling.

—Sorry —she whispered—. I needed to break the tension.

—Keep going —I said, breathless—. Keep going.

She kissed me again, this time with her mouth open, biting my lower lip, pushing her tongue all the way in. I felt her hand slide up my thigh under my skirt and press her fingers right where I was already soaked through my underwear. A moan slipped out against her mouth.

—Your cunt’s wet and I haven’t even touched you properly yet —she whispered in my ear, laughing softly—. You’re a dirty girl, did you know that?

—Shut up and take me somewhere —I shot back, gripping her wrist so she wouldn’t stop rubbing me through the fabric.

***

—Let’s go somewhere else —she said suddenly, her voice broken by a desire we could no longer hide.

Without thinking, I took her hand and we moved away from the noise. We crossed a dark hallway that led to a small outdoor garden, far from people. Once outside, the cool night air wrapped around us and adrenaline surged through my veins. The music stayed behind, distant, while the calm of the place surrounded us.

The garden was enclosed by tall walls covered in vines. There was a small fountain whose serene murmur contrasted with the chaos we’d left behind. Benches of weathered wood, mossy shadows on the walls, dim lights. No one ever came here, and that was exactly what we wanted: a place to be alone, with nothing to distract us.

Renata stopped in the center, looking at me with an expression I couldn’t read. She said nothing, but her eyes spoke louder than any words. She knew what was happening between us, and that there was no turning back.

—Are you sure about this? —I whispered, feeling my heart pounding in my chest.

She approached slowly, as if making sure we were alone. Her fingers rested on my cheek and then slid softly down to my neck.

—I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to eat you whole out here. I want to feel you in my mouth until tomorrow.

She took me by the waist and pulled me closer. When our lips met again, the world dissolved once more. All that was left was the whisper of our breathing and the force with which we sought each other. She gently pushed me against the ivy-covered brick wall. The cold of the stone mixed with the heat of our bodies, and every caress was more intense than the last.

The sound of the fountain was the only thing accompanying us, a constant murmur behind every movement. Renata slid her hands down my back until they stopped at my waist, while I clung to her face, unable to look away from those dark eyes that completely undid me.

—I’ve been waiting for you —she murmured, pressing even closer, as if she wanted to merge with me—. Every time he fucked me I thought about you. About your tits, your mouth, what I’d do to you if I had you against a wall.

—Tell me —I asked, grabbing the nape of her neck—. Tell me what you wanted to do to me.

—Suck your nipples until you screamed. Stick two fingers in you and not stop until you soaked my hand. Eat your cunt with my face buried between your legs.

My knees went weak. She tore the buttons off my white shirt with urgency, one by one, and I ended up with my tits bare against the cold brick. She bent down and took one nipple fully into her mouth, sucking hard, tugging with her teeth until a sharp moan escaped me. Then she moved to the other one, biting it, licking it in circles, leaving the areola hard and red. Every lick sent a direct jolt straight to my cunt.

—Do you like it when I suck your tits like this, slut? —she asked with her mouth still glued to the nipple.

—Yes, yes, don’t stop… you’re killing me.

—Guess what I like most when someone does it to me? —I said, almost pleading, while she kept giving me small electric kisses between my breasts.

—Tell me, beautiful. Tell me.

—Go to my belly button. Run your tongue over it for a good while. I die of excitement if you do that to me.

—Oh, yeah? —she answered, her voice determined.

Since she was taller than me, she held me by the wrists and kissed my neck slowly, moving down my sternum, between my tits, following the line to my belly button. There she lingered, sinking the tip of her tongue inside, circling it slowly, leaving it hot and wet while I arched against the wall. Then she pulled it out and went back to licking around it, sucking the skin of my lower stomach until she left a pink mark. I arched in pleasure while she watched me with those deep black eyes.

—How I like it when you’re like this, letting yourself be done to however —she said, while under my skirt she began pulling down my underwear, slowly, until it fell to the ground.

I don’t know why she paused for a moment with the garment in her hand, smelled it without hiding it, laughed, and stuffed it into her pants pocket. I didn’t care. I liked how wild she was. She lifted my skirt to my waist and knelt on the grass in front of me. With both hands she spread my thighs and stared at my shaved cunt, shiny, swollen with arousal.

—Look how worked up you are, dripping all over me —she murmured, sliding her middle finger up and down between my lips, collecting the slick—. All of this is mine tonight.

She put her finger in her mouth and sucked it slowly, staring at me fixedly. Then she pressed her whole tongue against my clit and started licking without pause, long and flat, soaking me from the vagina to the hood. She had me trapped, cornered against the wall, tasting me however she pleased. I opened my legs wider and grabbed her head, pushing her into me, rubbing my cunt on her face like a bitch in heat.

—Like that, like that, don’t stop, suck me there… —I begged, my voice shaking.

She answered by thrusting two fingers into me at once, going in to the knuckles. She curled them inside, searching for my spot up top, while she kept sucking my clit with her lips sealed around it. Her tongue hit me in the same place, fast, insistent, and her fingers went in and out making a wet sound that bounced off the garden walls.

—Mmm… I want you to come. Yes, like that, give me everything in my mouth —she let out for a second, before diving back in.

I spread my legs even wider as my body contracted uncontrollably, again and again. The first orgasm shook me from top to bottom, I clamped my thighs against her head and screamed, covering my mouth with my hand. She didn’t stop: she kept licking me with my cunt hypersensitive, dragging out a second orgasm almost on top of the first, my legs trembling so badly I nearly fell. I had one orgasm after another, almost without a break, and her tongue lapped up every last drop while I held on to her curly hair, pulling it, smearing my slick across her face.

When she got up, her chin was shiny and her lips swollen. She grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me hard, pushing her tongue into my mouth with my own taste on it. I sucked her mouth without disgust, swallowing what she gave me back.

—Now it’s your turn —she whispered in my ear, taking my hand and leading it under her dress.

She had no underwear on. I ran my fingers over her lips and found her soaking, burning hot, with her swollen clit throbbing against my fingertip. I let out a stupid moan and she laughed, biting my neck.

—See how you got me? Put it in already, don’t make me wait.

I pushed her onto the wooden bench and sat her there, legs open and dress hiked up to her waist. I knelt between her thighs. I licked the inside of her thighs first, leaving trails of saliva, biting her soft skin until she let out a muffled cry. Then I opened her cunt with my fingers and drove my tongue inside, fucking her with my mouth, going in and out, eating her the way I’d wanted to for months.

—Oh, you fucking bitch, like that, don’t stop… —she panted, throwing her head back, gripping the back of the bench.

I sucked her clit with my lips closed around it, tugging gently, and slid two fingers into her at the same time. She was so wet they went in without resistance. I fucked her with my fingers fast, curling them inside, while my tongue worked her hood without rest. She squeezed her tits over her dress, moaning louder and louder, forgetting we were outside.

—More, deeper, I’m going to come in your mouth…

I pushed in a third finger and sped up. I felt her walls close around me, clamping, pulsing. She came with a rough cry, spilling hot slick onto my tongue, pushing my face into her with both hands. I licked everything, every drop, sucking her lips one by one until she was clean. When I looked up I saw her with half-closed eyes, mouth open, shaking all over.

Everything else had disappeared: the party, the people, the boyfriend, the time lost. Only the two of us existed in that secluded garden, her with her legs still open over the bench, me between her thighs with a wet face and an idiot smile.

Until an unexpected call rang out. Her partner’s.

I froze against the wall, with her lipstick marked on my neck, my cunt still throbbing and my thighs sticky, almost hypnotized, unable to come back from the state I was in. I bit my lip hard while she answered, pulling her dress up with one hand, making excuses, saying she wouldn’t get home that night, that she’d stay with a friend. While she talked to him she looked at me fixedly and ran her tongue over her lips, still shining with me, as if telling me without words everything she was going to do to me afterward.

And what a night we still had ahead of us.