The Guitarist I Ran Into Again That Night

I still feel the touch of her curly hair between my fingers. She had a boyfriend, yes, but that night that no longer meant anything to either of us. She kissed me like she’d been holding back for years, and I didn’t want to let her go for even a second. I had imagined her like that so many times, until she stopped being a fantasy. I admit I looked for her after a breakup, that it wasn’t the cleanest moment to do it. But she made me forget everything bad. She didn’t judge me, and I didn’t judge her, and there we were.

In the midst of all the back-and-forth in my love life, after a couple of disappointments that left me broken, I couldn’t say exactly what led me to look for her. Maybe I simply opened my eyes and understood what life had been keeping silent for me. My heart had never chosen well, I have to admit it. Sometimes a pretty face and a magazine body are nothing but mirages, and you let yourself be dazzled like an idiot.

I don’t want to fall into the cliché of saying that everyone who’s too attractive is cruel, but my experience doesn’t let me lie completely. You never reach the height of their demands if you’re an ordinary person. And the worst part is that someone better always shows up to remind you that you’re nobody, until you end up consuming yourself over a belief that wasn’t even yours.

That rainy afternoon, in front of the computer, I decided to get back at my ex in the most absurd way: I started following on Instagram a girl from her circle. Renata belonged to that group from the faculty, although I knew very well my ex didn’t really want her as a friend. She kept her close to make herself feel better, while dying of envy over everything Renata’s personality radiated effortlessly. I just put the pieces together.

Before all that, she and I had already crossed paths. Friends of friends, that sort of thing. One ordinary afternoon I was with my classmates playing guitar and singing during a free moment at the conservatory. Renata was with her group, but she stepped away from them and came over to our table saying she liked what we were doing better. We’re students of Music Education, in case the context is needed.

Back then I didn’t look at her with the passion I do now, but there was something about her that drew me in. The thing was that she was in her final year while I was only in my second, so we weren’t that close. We only overlapped because I’d moved ahead in a third-year class and she’d show up from time to time with some contribution. Her name, though, was well known all over the conservatory.

And saying it like this, without filters: I got distracted from looking at one star by looking at something else. It hurts to admit it.

***

When I started following her, the first thing I noticed was how understated she was. A calm, a shyness that seeped even into her photos. Her black eyes seemed enchanting to me, a completely different profile from what I usually went for. But time can’t be rewound and I didn’t expect her to pay any attention to my whim. All I could do was follow her and bear it. And guess what: not even a night passed before the notification came that she followed me back too.

For the moment, all I had was her Instagram. I felt that liking one of her posts would give me away as needy, and I was a little needy, because loneliness plays tricks on you. I didn’t want her to become the bandage for my wound. Something told me to take it slow, to get to know her first. In recent months I’d lived through things that were too intense and I was no longer willing to take unnecessary risks.

During the week she watched my stories and I watched hers. It was reciprocal, almost a silent game. Until one day her name stopped appearing in the viewer list and I panicked without understanding what was happening. Days passed and then I saw the post: Renata with her boyfriend, “celebrating an anniversary.” I didn’t like that at all, so I decided to get on with my life and stop looking for her. After all, if we hadn’t connected in the past, we were even less likely to do it now.

Two days later she watched my story again. I didn’t know whether to be happy or not.

Honestly, I was no longer in a place to compete with anyone. No matter how many things I knew how to do, that had always seemed to me like a useless waste of energy. He had arrived first, and that was already a fact. All I had left were the memories: the time she was talking with a friend and kept looking at me with a smile, the afternoon she spent with my group. I felt there was something special about her, but I hadn’t known how to appreciate it in time.

Quite a lot happened after that and I lost track of her. I was about to go on vacation, I had performances with my band and, on top of that, some health problems that forced me to exercise and visit the nutritionist every so often. My life filled up with new things, but Renata’s image kept crossing my mind at the most unexpected moments. I couldn’t deny it: something about her had stayed etched in me. Even so, I had decided that story was already over.

***

Until one Friday, during a performance with my band, I saw her.

I hadn’t anticipated it. I was in the middle of the preparations, tuning the strings and making sure everything was ready, when I spotted her among the crowd. Renata, there, in the middle of the mass of people, as if fate had decided this encounter could be postponed no longer. Her gaze met mine for just a moment and I felt the air around me grow denser. My heart raced, but I tried to focus on the music, on what was in front of me.

The set began and, while we played, my eyes kept searching for her. Sometimes I found her looking at me with an intensity that made me wonder what was going through her head. The songs followed one another, the lights bathed us, and all I could think about was her, about what we had been and what we might become.

When it was all over and the applause began to fade, I saw her coming closer with that shy but bright smile. She looked at me as if she wanted to say something, but before I could take a step she was already in front of me.

“Hi,” she said in a soft, warm voice, like always.

I didn’t know what to say at first, my mind still processing what had just happened. We stood in silence for a moment, as if words were unnecessary.

“I saw you play, you were amazing,” she added, breaking the stillness with a sincerity that left a strange warmth in my chest.

“Thanks,” I replied, trying to stay calm. “It’s been so long… I didn’t know if you’d remember me.”

“Of course I remember you. What a crazy thing, running into you just in this bar!”

She said it laughing, and there was something in her look beyond what her words said. The line surprised me, because all this time I had believed I was the only one still thinking about the other.

I don’t know how much time passed, but the noise of the place slowly faded while we talked. We sat on a bench off to the side, next to the stage. I drank from a bottle of water, as if the rest of the world had ceased to exist.

“How have you been?” she finally asked, in a tone that sounded more like a confession than a question.

“Good. Well, complicated lately. And you?”

She smiled faintly, that smile that had always undone me.

“I think I also discovered some things about myself. And although I never told you, I always wondered what would have happened if things had been different. Here’s to this coincidence, darling,” she said, clinking her glass against my bottle.

Those words cut deeper than I’d expected. It wasn’t just about what was left unsaid, but about the decisions we make and the paths we choose. The conversation flowed as if time hadn’t passed, about simple things but loaded with meaning. We didn’t need labels or explanations. We were there, together, in the present, and that was the only thing that mattered.

In the end we fell silent, looking into each other’s eyes. Renata moved a little closer, her face softened, and before I realized it her lips found mine. It was a soft kiss, one that didn’t need explaining. As if everything we had left suspended were resolved in that small gesture.

I pulled back slightly, trembling.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “I needed to break the tension.”

“Keep going,” I told her, breathless. “Keep going.”

***

“Let’s go somewhere else,” she said suddenly, her voice broken by a desire we could no longer hide.

Without thinking, I took her hand and we moved away from the noise. We crossed a dark hallway that led to a small outdoor garden, away from the people. As we stepped into the open air, the cool night wrapped around us and adrenaline surged through my veins. The music was left behind, blurred, while the calm of the place surrounded us.

The garden was enclosed by high walls covered in vines. There was a small fountain whose serene murmur contrasted with the chaos we’d left behind. Benches of weathered wood, mossy shadows on the walls, dim lights. No one came back here, and that was exactly what we wanted: a place to be alone, with nothing to distract us.

Renata stopped in the center, looking at me with an expression I couldn’t read. She didn’t say anything, but her eyes said more than any words. She knew what was happening between us, and that there was no turning back.

“Are you sure about this?” I whispered, feeling my heartbeat pound in my chest.

She came closer slowly, as if making sure we were alone. Her fingers rested on my cheek and then slid softly down to my neck.

“I don’t want to wait anymore.”

She took me by the waist and pulled me to her. When our lips met again, the world disappeared once more. There was only the whisper of our breathing and the force with which we sought each other. She gently pushed me against the ivy-covered brick wall. The cold of the stone mingled with the heat of our bodies, and every caress was more intense than the last.

The sound of the fountain was the only thing accompanying us, a constant murmur behind every movement. Renata slid her hands down my back until they stopped at my waist, while I clung to her face, unable to look away from those dark eyes that completely undid me.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” she murmured, pressing even closer, as if she wanted to merge with me.

She unbuttoned my white shirt anxiously and left tiny electric kisses on my nipples, which grew harder and harder for her. My breathing turned erratic.

“Guess what I like most when someone does things to me?” I said, almost pleading.

“Tell me, beautiful. Tell me.”

“Go to my belly button. Run your tongue over me for a good while. I die of excitement if you do it to me.”

“Oh, yeah?” she replied in a determined voice.

Since she was taller than me, she held me by the wrists and kissed my neck slowly, going down until she gave me exactly what I’d asked for. I arched with pleasure while she watched me with those deep black eyes.

“How I like that you’re like this, that you let yourself be done to in every way,” she said, while beneath my skirt she began to pull down my underwear, slowly, until it was on the floor.

I don’t know why she paused for a moment with the garment in her hand, but I didn’t care. I liked that she was so wild. She lifted my skirt and started playing with her tongue without stopping. She had me captive, cornered against the wall, tasting me at her whim.

“Mmm… I want you to come. Yes, like that, give me everything in my mouth.”

I spread my legs while my body clenched uncontrollably, again and again. I had one orgasm after another, almost without catching my breath, and her tongue cleaned me of every last drop while I held onto her curly hair. Everything else had disappeared: the party, the people, the boyfriend, the lost time. Only the two of us existed in that secluded garden.

Until an unexpected call sounded. Her partner’s.

I stayed motionless against the wall, with her lipstick marking my neck, almost hypnotized, unable to come back from the state I was in. I was biting my lip hard while she answered, making excuses, saying she wouldn’t get home that night, that she’d be staying with a friend.

And what a night we still had ahead of us.