The Neighbor Who Came Back to the Neighborhood Ten Years Later

For most people, the university years end up turning into a blurry memory, a succession of faces and classrooms that fade with time. That wasn’t the case for me. There was one person I could never forget, no matter how many others I met later on. Noelia always had a separate place in my memory, a place no one else ever reached.

She was my neighbor. A woman of about forty-five, with the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen and hair so light, so blonde it was almost albino, that it seemed lit from within. She had a small bookstore two blocks from home, and I made up any excuse to go in: that I needed a book for college, that I was looking for a notebook, anything. I never understood why she spent so long talking to me, but I didn’t care to find out either.

Back then I was a shy, lonely girl. I carried the weight of some horrible high school years, of mockery and silence, and the only hour of the day I looked forward to was the one I spent among her shelves. Noelia understood me in a way no one else could. At first I thought she was just kind, almost motherly. But little by little, without even noticing, I started to desire her in another way.

I was passionate about poetry, the kind my classmates looked down on and that, to her, was a treasure. One afternoon I left her my notebook of verses, claiming I was embarrassed for others to see it. Noelia loved that we shared that little secret. What I hadn’t counted on was her husband.

Rubén was a hard-drinking alcoholic. One night he came home drunk, found the notebook, and covered it in insults, convinced it belonged to a lover. The next day Noelia told me everything, trembling, and said she couldn’t keep my poems anymore. I felt an urgent need to fix it, so I went looking for him at his workshop.

—Please, don’t get angry with her. The notebook is mine, look at my handwriting —I told him, showing him my notebooks with a broken voice.

—That’s enough, I don’t care anymore —he replied without looking up—. Go home.

He treated me like a child, and that hurt more than any insult. That man who barely set foot in his own house, who never listened to Noelia, who worked two days a week at most, looked down on me. I’m not giving up. Ever.

From then on I learned his schedule. I knew what time he left and that he didn’t come back until after dawn. And in that window, I went into action.

***

One afternoon I stayed until almost nightfall. Noelia let me in and asked me to wait, that she needed to shower. Curious and brazen, I couldn’t resist the temptation to peek through the crack in the door.

Her breasts were huge, and I watched them hypnotized as the water slid down her skin. Her body was voluptuous, generous, made to be looked at. I saw her crouch down to shave her legs, I saw the curve of her hips, that white, soft skin that looked like it had never seen the sun. When she reached for the towel, I hurried back to the armchair by the entrance, my heart pounding against my ribs.

She came out without a bra, wearing a turquoise cotton T-shirt and jeans that clung to every part of her body. I stared at her, dazzled, and pretending innocence, asked if I could do her hair. She agreed. Strand by strand, I untangled her hair as if I were touching something sacred, pausing every so often to caress the back of her neck. She smiled, pleased. My mind was elsewhere, on things I still didn’t even know how to name.

—Did you write any new poems? —she asked me.

—I wrote something. But you told me I couldn’t show them to you anymore. Rubén will get angry again.

—I don’t care what he says anymore. He always ruined everything that made me happy. You’re a brilliant girl, don’t let people like that extinguish you.

—Do you want me to write you something now? —I said, without thinking.

—I don’t know, you just got back from class, you must be tired.

—Being with you is good for me. With the chocolate you made me, I have enough to get inspired.

I took a sheet of paper and a pen out of my bag. I paused to find the right words and began to write something deliberately steamy, verses about golden hair and forbidden lips, about fingers tracing alabaster skin. When I recited it to her with my eyes fixed on hers, I knew she understood perfectly who I was talking about.

—You made me fly —she murmured—. Where do you get so many beautiful words?

—From the soul.

—Come here, I want to tell you something.

I thought she would kiss me, that something would change between us that night. But she only hugged me and stroked my hair, as if I were still that frightened little girl from the bookstore. It didn’t matter. My body registered something else: a tingling between my legs I couldn’t explain, a new heat. That desire for Noelia was something I would never speak about to anyone.

***

Noelia carried an enormous loneliness. She watched her two daughters leave home too soon, after men who didn’t deserve them, and a sadness settled in her eyes that never went away. A good woman, devoted to her home, and she was repaid with a drunken husband who also cheated on her.

On a day no one expected, she packed her bags and left for a forgotten little town, far from everything. I later learned that she had rebuilt her life there, that she had something like peace. When I found out, I pretended to be happy for her. Then I locked myself in the bathroom and cried until I used up the whole roll of toilet paper. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that my only refuge had left without leaving a number, an address, anything.

Every time I passed in front of that empty house, I felt the pain of a bullet in my chest. I didn’t even greet Rubén out of politeness; he was my eternal rival, the culprit behind everything, and in silence I wished him the worst.

But life went on, as it always does. I fell in love several times, without any story leaving a real mark. I stumbled, forgave, finished my studies. I became passionate about music and, with a lot of effort, became a professional singer and managed to move into my own apartment.

***

One afternoon I went to visit my mother. And by chance, between one sentence and the next, the world fell on top of me.

—Your friend came back —said Marta, my mother, as if she were talking about the weather.

—What? Who?

—Noelia. Don’t you remember? You were always glued to her.

—Mom, don’t say it like that.

—But it’s the truth. I think you trusted her more than you trusted me.

—We were friends, that’s all. Didn’t you realize how alone that woman was?

—Of course I did. Your heart has always been very noble. Do you know why she came back?

—No idea —I said, with fake indifference, while inside everything was shaking.

My mother, who reads me like an open book, detected my need in the silence that followed.

—What if we go see her? I have to stop by the market anyway. If she’s there, we’ll say hello.

—Whatever you want —I replied, holding back the urge to run.

We walked the usual two blocks. I nodded at my mother’s trivial chatter while my whole body trembled and my hands went cold. Before we arrived, I took a deep breath, as if I were about to face the most important stage of my life.

And there she was. Seeing her was a shock. The years had not touched her: she was still just as radiant, just as impossible. I greeted her shyly, but she hugged me right away.

—I’m so happy to see you! —she exclaimed.

—Noelia!

Her kiss on my cheek was long, intense, as if it were hard for her to pull away. My mother exchanged a couple of welcoming phrases and then immediately gave the perfect excuse: she had to cook before my father got back, and if it wasn’t a bother, I could stay.

—Never say that. Your company has always been my beacon —Noelia replied.

There was a charged silence, the kind that lends itself to a thousand interpretations. My mother said goodbye and left us alone.

***

—I always thought this moment would never come —said Noelia once we were inside.

I looked at her from the corner of my eye. The knot in my throat was beginning to loosen. There were so many questions, so many feelings that had grown during her absence, and yet everything became simple beside her.

—I thought so too —I replied—. I thought everything I lived with you would be just a good memory.

She turned her face and her eyes searched mine with an intensity that left me breathless.

—I never stopped thinking about you. When I left, it was harder than I imagined. I would stand at the window, waiting to see you, even though I knew you were in the city and that I couldn’t have you. In my head I kept repeating the same thing: “maybe in another life.”

Her confession filled me with a heat I hadn’t felt in years. I leaned toward her, unable to stop myself.

—I could never forget you —I admitted—. Even when I had reasons to, I thought about you.

—It wasn’t just you. I always knew there was something between us, but I didn’t dare. You were much younger, just starting your life, and I was a mess. I convinced myself I had to leave those feelings behind. I never could.

—Why didn’t you tell me anything? —I asked, and the reproach slipped out on its own.

She drew a breath before looking at me again.

—Because I was afraid. Afraid of what it meant, of what it would disrupt. I felt it was selfish to drag you into my need for love. I didn’t want you to pay for problems I had to solve myself. That’s why I went away.

Every word touched a corner that had spent years in silence. At last I understood why she had left.

—And how do you feel now? —I asked, my voice barely audible.

—Like I came back looking for something I left unfinished. Something I want to explore, without the fear I had before. I’m here, and I’m not going to waste it.

—Neither am I —I replied, while a stubborn tear wet my cheek—. I waited for this moment too long.

We fell silent again, but this time it was different. Noelia leaned in slowly and our foreheads touched. No more words were needed. Without any preamble, I kissed her with everything I had, right there, on the threshold, where anyone could see us. The thrill of knowing it made me burn even hotter.

—Come in, come in… My God, you’re so fiery. I didn’t know this side of you —she said between laughs.

I let her hair down, and her curls opened like a yellow lily. She kept kissing me while a tear rolled down her face; I wiped it away and hugged that huge, protective body I had so often imagined all over again.

I lifted her blouse and began kissing every part of her skin, repeating against her body that I loved her, that I would never stop loving her. She threw her head back.

—Don’t stop, please, don’t stop.

I loved watching how her pale face filled with shyness and blushed red.

—Are you sure about this? —I asked her.

—Yes. Kiss me.

She took off my tank top and lifted me with her strong arms until I was sitting on the kitchen counter. She let my hair loose, brought her nose close to smell it, and ran her tongue over my ear.

—At last I can have you.

—Don’t say that. You always had me.

She pressed her bare body against mine and started nibbling at my neck. I tilted my head, surrendering to every sensation, while she skillfully unclasped my bra.

—How many times I dreamed about this —she murmured, trailing her mouth over my breasts, her tongue drawing slow circles on my skin.

Pleasure tore a long sigh from me, eyes closed and a smile I couldn’t hold back. Her soft fingers moved over me completely, and I clung to her with near-desperate urgency.

—Come to the bed —she said, and led me down the hallway without ever letting go of me.

She finished undressing me in an instant. My jeans were left in a corner. It was hot, both bodies were sweating, and I pushed my hips forward to tempt her, the last garment clinging to me and outlining everything.

—I’ve never experienced anything like this. It feels so good.

She moved down through kisses until she stopped for a second, her eyes almost pleading.

—Sorry if I’m not an expert.

—Keep going, keep going. What a delicious tongue you have.

Then she tasted me without shame, with a wild abandon no one had ever given me in all those years. When I came I was so wet I soaked the sheet, and I thought that was better: if her ex-husband ever got the idea to show up, he’d know exactly who had marked that territory.

—Now I want to feel you. I want to know what you’ve learned all this time —she said.

No phrase had ever given me more pleasure. I tied her wrists with her own blouse, kissed her trembling, bit those porcelain breasts that rose at the slightest contact.

—Don’t move —I ordered, licking her all over.

—You’re so wild.

With my fingers I parted her lips and found her clit, tempting as fruit. I started stimulating it with my mouth while I slowly penetrated her with my fingers, alternating a slow rhythm with a fast one, surrendering completely to her pleasure.

—Like this? Do you like it like this? —I asked, looking up at her.

—Yes, like that, don’t stop, my love.

I received her orgasm like nectar, mesmerized and hotter than ever. Then I knelt in front of her, we embraced, and I laid her down again. I lifted one of her legs and we began rubbing our sex against each other in desperation. We stayed like that for a long while, until pleasure dragged both of us under again.

***

Neither of us wanted to get dressed. But her ex was still possessive and roamed around the house from time to time, and I wasn’t about to expose myself to a bigger problem. So, reluctantly, we got our clothes back on. She fastened my bra while kissing the back of my neck.

—Did you like it?

—You have no idea. If it were up to me, I’d stay until dawn.

—You’re beautiful, Camila. I’m fascinated by your wild side.

—The best part of me comes out when I’m with you.

We gave each other the deepest kiss in the world and the longest embrace.

—I missed you so much —she said.

—You’ll never be alone again, Noelia. I’ll be here, to love you, take care of you, and defend you.

—I love you, and I always will.

—Me too.

I had to leave; my mother must have been getting worried. Noelia opened the door, cut a flower from her garden, and tucked it into my jacket pocket. I melted at the gesture. I walked back home feeling like I had finally gotten my breath back, my muse, my adoration. She, forever in my soul. Noelia.