Masturbation

I thought I was alone among the trees, until a crackling sound changed everything and I realized how badly I wanted someone to find me like that, naked and surrendered.

I ordered my first toy online so I wouldn’t die of embarrassment in the store. What I didn’t imagine was the delivery guy’s face when he handed me that box.

Less than a hundred meters from the music and champagne, she spread her legs in the sun, not knowing someone was coming down the path. When she saw him, it was already too late to close them.

I had spent months preparing for Adrián, but it was another man who taught me that night what it really means to give yourself over.

They thought the cove was empty. I stayed behind the rock, holding my breath, watching her move on top of him as the sky turned orange.

It was my first serious job: door-to-door sales. I never imagined that behind that townhouse there would be a man, a camera, and the afternoon that would change everything.

Everyone suspects what I am from the way I dress, but I never confirm it. It’s my secret, and telling it anonymously turns me on more than anything else.

She came out of the bathroom in lingerie, posed in front of me, and asked me from one to ten how hot she was. I already knew where that night was going to end.

I walked into the locker room without thinking and came out with my legs shaking, looking at those naked women like I had never looked at anyone in my life.

When he arrived that night, I was already on the other side of the glass with the lights off, watching her greet him with a smile she had never shown me.

I parked outside the house, my hands sweating. It was my first session with a naked client, and I still didn’t know I’d end up with two men on top of me.

I’d been trying for years to get her to give in again. That afternoon, between joints and caresses on the couch, she sat up and kissed me like before.

That morning, her husband left on patrol without looking at her. By nine, she had already chosen the clothes she would wear to open the door to another man.

I’d never been attracted to men, but that figure on the screen stirred something I couldn’t name. Then she offered to pay me.

I saw him in briefs only once and since then I can’t sleep without thinking about him. The fact that he’s my half-brother should be enough to stop me, but it isn’t.

I have my cheek pressed against the cold tile and I can’t remember his face, only the rhythm of him coming in and out of me while his hands hold my waist.

It was six in the morning and the bar was empty. He poured me a tequila, looked at me the way he’d been looking all night, and told me he wouldn’t let me leave that fast.

That morning, when I half-opened my eyes on the mattress pushed up against the balcony, she was already there on hers, smoking, waiting for me to turn over.

We started with stupid stickers at the end of the shift. Then came the nickname. Then the fantasy. That night he texted that my place was closer, and I couldn’t say no.

When she walked into her room naked except for the blouse, those white hips swaying, I knew I would never sleep in that house again without thinking of her.