Trans

I went in as a frightened student and came out as her. Behind the black curtain, without names or faces, I discovered how much I wanted a stranger to use me.

The night before leaving, we turned on the screen, played the videos from that mansion, and let the memories prepare us for what the island had in store.

Carmen explained the rules: bathe twice a day, obey every bell, and never ask questions. That night, I understood what kind of niece my uncle wanted.

I kept it as evidence for the case, but that night, alone, I slipped the silk over my body and saw in the mirror someone who had been waiting years for me.

I woke with annatto-painted skin and unfamiliar lips on my neck, unaware that the jungle would give me a body I never thought possible.

I had never set foot outside dressed as a woman. That early morning, I painted my lips in a gas-station bathroom and drove to him without thinking about what would follow.

I always wondered where he got so much money. When he finally showed me, my best friend stood before me in white stockings and with a smile that changed everything.

I heard her firm footsteps in the kitchen and lowered my gaze, afraid to meet it. I was no longer the man I had been: I was what she had decided I would be.

She entered the dining room as a servant and left as someone else. That night, before the fire, she chose which name to let burn forever.

The sandstorm swept away the entire caravan. Alone among the dunes, he was rescued by a dark figure whose secret awakened a forbidden desire.

When he knocked on my door that afternoon, I knew he'd seen everything: the wig, the dress, the woman I kept hidden. And in his eyes there was no mockery, only hunger.

I accepted the invitation because I felt special. I woke up naked, with a collar on my neck and a woman who had already decided what she’d turn me into.

I knew exactly what crossing my legs in front of his desk would do. What he didn’t know was the surprise I was hiding beneath my skirt.

That night I didn’t want to wait for anyone. I wanted the guard who had undressed me with his eyes all afternoon, even though he didn’t know what I was hiding.

In front of the mirror, adjusting my garter and blonde wig, I allow myself the most dangerous luxury of all: imagining someone who stays afterward.

I texted him, “Door ajar, if you dare,” and turned off almost all the lights. When he came up the stairs, I knew there was no turning back.

I didn’t sleep all night. At dawn she would dress me, make me up, and take me to the place where they would decide what kind of man I would remain… if I remained one at all.

I arrived at the temple half dead, convinced my body was a curse. That same night the priest whispered that I was actually the chosen one.

When the DJ said my name and the whole club sang, I never imagined the best part of my birthday would begin much later, far from the dance floor.

I mapped a jungle where no one spoke my language, yet among clay-painted bodies, I finally stopped feeling like a ghost.