Trans

I accepted the date out of curiosity: to be the object my boss lends his friends. But what his partner wanted from me that night, I never could have imagined.

My mouth and body were ready, my heart pounding in my chest. All that was left was for him to walk through the door and look at me the way I needed him to.

I had never paid for sex, much less with a trans woman. But that early morning, with the car full of gas and my head full of kink, I took one turn too many.

She dressed me just like her: black corset, fishnet stockings, and the same wig. That night we were going to work together for the first time, and I had no idea how far it would go.

The rumor swept through the bakery: Espiguita was back. And the only man who truly knew her felt the past crashing down on him.

I heard the water running and knew exactly what I was going to do. I slipped in silently, knelt on the tiles, and let the steam do the rest.

They said he wasn’t fit to be the lead. But that ass, the producer murmured with the camera on him, that ass has a future in this industry.

The first time I knelt before my cousin, I stopped being who I was. What came after changed my body forever.

The white leggings were see-through under my sweatshirt, and I knew that night, in the empty van, the driver was going to look at me differently.

I went up to the third floor in my fishnet stockings and white heels, left the door ajar, and waited for the sound of my steps to wake the hunger in the men in the hallway.

I’d spent years secretly wearing my sister’s clothes. The night he waited for me at that hotel, I stopped pretending and became who I’d always been.

He shut the bathroom door, looked at himself in the mirror in the short blouse and wet lace, and knew there was no way back tonight.

Camila closed the blind without taking her eyes off me, and when I got into bed, I could think of nothing else but what she had said about my mother.

For weeks I’d been wearing lingerie under my clothes, but that night, alone at home, I decided to become the woman he wanted to see.

I dialed the number with a trembling hand. A South American voice told me to go up to the third floor, that it wouldn’t hurt, that tonight I’d learn to ask for more.

The case had been sitting at the back of the wardrobe for years. I put in the first disc without imagining that what I saw that afternoon would stay with me forever.

When she shut the door, she told me I wasn’t enough of a man. I never imagined that same night I’d stop being one forever—and that it would be the best thing that ever happened to me.

I expected lies the night I confronted him. I didn’t expect to get wet imagining him on his knees, becoming what he had always wanted to be.

She had red hair, painted lips, and a body that stopped traffic. What I didn’t imagine was what I’d find when I slipped my hand under her dress.