Voyeur

Turning off the light would have been the sensible thing. But that night, on the ninth floor of an empty hotel, the last thing I wanted was to go unnoticed.

I knew him when he was shy and fragile, when his name was Tomás. Ten years later he came back through the door in a miniskirt, with a smile that promised to ruin my summer.

I asked her to put on the shortest shorts she owned. I wanted to see how the workers looked at her as she walked by, and how she endured the whole day in that outfit.

She was sipping her gin and tonic when two men sat beside her and told her about a film. By the time she finished her drink, she had already signed.

I’d booked the place for our anniversary, but she beat me to it: the hostel was the headquarters of a private club, and that night the red button was beside the bed.

At eighteen, I had never been with a woman. The last thing I expected was for my first time to come with the housekeeper who walked into my room to clean.

The salsa was playing louder than usual. I pressed myself against the wall, found the gap between the curtains, and what I saw on the other side erased my idea of family forever.

I opened my eyes in the middle of the dark living room, and she was standing in the doorway, biting her lip and looking at exactly what I couldn’t hide.

All he had to do was watch. No touching, no talking. But when she slid her panties to the floor of the carriage, he no longer knew where to look.

Behind each of the three holes there could have been anyone. I couldn’t see a thing. I only felt hands, mouths, and a familiar gaze watching me from the other side.

I wore the red dress with nothing underneath. He walked behind me with his phone on, and every stare that lingered on me ended up saved in his gallery.

That night I heard a low noise in the hall and pressed myself to a badly drawn curtain. What I didn’t know was that someone barefoot in the garden had been watching me for six minutes.

For months he’d pretended her uniform didn’t affect him. That afternoon, with her thigh bandaged and his hands trembling on her skin, he knew he couldn’t hold back anymore.

That stormy night I came home soaked and opened the bedroom door without warning: what I saw on our bed changed my mind more than any accusation could.