I Got Back With My Ex for My Birthday and Crossed a Line

I loved Mateo too much, but if I’m honest, what I missed most when everything ended wasn’t the conversations or the plans. It was the sex. Now that we’re no longer together, I’m going to tell our encounters piece by piece, as a kind of intimate revenge on myself. Maybe someone else trapped in the same thing will read this and find the courage to let go. Or maybe I just need to write it down to believe I’m really over it.

That time I traveled to the city where he lived to spend my birthday with him. We’d been in an on-and-off thing for almost two years, and there was a fifteen-year age gap between us. I’ve always liked older men, especially in bed; they have a calm the guys my age just don’t understand. I got to the hotel early, with plenty of time to get ready and wait for him the way he liked.

Back then I was thinner, with medium-sized breasts and narrow hips. I’d dyed my hair a blazing red that made me feel bolder than I really was. I showered, took my time getting ready, and put on a lace set that left nothing to the imagination. Then I sat on the edge of the bed, freshly perfumed, counting the minutes until I heard the lock turn.

The moment he came in, he threw himself on me. He loved finding me like that, ready, waiting for him. He cupped my face with both hands and kissed me as if he were trying to make up for all the time we’d lost, his tongue searching for mine in an unrelenting frenzy while his huge hands roamed over my whole body.

“You look so good, baby,” he murmured against my mouth, wrestling with the lace fastenings.

I could already feel his erection against my thigh.

“You’re rock hard,” I told him, sliding my hand down. “I want to taste you.”

He was stripping off in a hurry while I freed him from his underwear. I sat up to lick him slowly. He was circumcised, and I loved feeling that smooth head against my lips, tracing him all the way before taking him in. I could have stayed like that for hours, unhurried, just for the pleasure of hearing his breathing change.

“First it’s your turn,” he said, and gently pushed me back onto the mattress.

With Mateo I discovered what a really good blowjob was. He kissed his way down my neck, my breasts, my stomach, stopping at every inch as if he had all the time in the world. When he finally got between my legs, he started slowly, almost torturing me, and then with a purpose that made my back arch. I rocked my hips against his mouth, clamping him with my thighs, lost.

The first orgasm caught me off guard. I trembled all over and he didn’t stop: he kept working me with his tongue while two of his fingers went in, hunting for another spot.

“Put it in me,” I asked, almost voiceless. “I want it all.”

He rose over me, huge, and rubbed the tip against my entrance without going in yet. He liked making me suffer a little, waiting until I begged for it.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

Instead of fucking me, he moved back up my body and offered me his cock. Eagerly, I followed it with my mouth, took him again, and he pushed in slowly, measuring how much I could take. I’d learned to control my gag reflex, to breathe through my nose, to relax my throat. I held his hips and let him go all the way in.

“Do you like it?” he asked, his eyes dark with desire.

I nodded without letting him go. I felt him harden even more, right on the edge, and then he pulled out suddenly.

“Turn over,” he ordered. “On all fours.”

I obeyed at once, pressing my chest to the bed and lifting my hips. He settled in behind me and drove into me in one shot. He was slick with my own wetness, and I felt him hit deep. Without warning, I came in a second orgasm that left my legs wet, and his too.

“That’s how I like you to come,” he said, never slowing down.

He rolled me over again, covered me with his body, and went back in. He kissed my neck, bit my breasts, rammed into me with a hardness that stole my breath. He was wider near the tip, and every time he went in I felt that perfect mix of pain and pleasure that drove me insane.

“I’m coming,” he gasped. “You’re way too hot.”

“Me too,” I answered. “Inside me, fill me up.”

He sped up, and as he filled me I came a third time. But that night my body didn’t want to stop. When he pulled out, another one hit me, and then another; I confessed between shudders that I was having several in a row. He slipped in a couple of fingers to stretch them out, and when I finally calmed down I was exhausted, wrecked across the sheets.

***

We went out to eat something and then agreed to come back at night. I put on a tight, short dress, nothing vulgar, just suggestive, with heeled boots and a light coat. It was midsummer and the night was warm. We went to a quiet bar, ordered drinks, and had a little too much. We wanted to dance, but as soon as I stood up and he wrapped his arms around my waist, I felt him firm against my body again, and all I wanted was to have him inside me again.

“Let’s go back to the hotel,” I whispered in his ear.

In the taxi, the usual started: his hand sliding up under my dress, his fingers finding me over the fabric, slowly. I stroked the bulge in his pants and talked softly to him until the driver pretended not to hear anything.

The moment we crossed the room’s threshold he came at me. He lifted my dress and found a red lace set that barely covered me.

“You’re soaked,” he said with a smile.

“Tonight I’m all yours,” I answered, lowering his zipper.

That turned him on. He stripped in seconds and yanked off my underwear. I still wasn’t fully ready, and when he entered me all at once, a moan slipped out. He didn’t stop until he finished, and he stayed on top of me, licking my breasts, catching his breath.

Minutes later he was hard again. I started touching myself while he watched and did the same, and when we were both ready he lay back and pulled me on top. I sank down onto him and saw stars. I rode him first with a slow rocking motion, then lifting almost all the way up to drop myself back down hard. He pulled me forward, I kissed his chest, he put a finger to my lips, and I sucked it obediently.

Then I felt his hand slide back, toward a place no one had ever explored. He made slow circles, testing, and then pressed a finger inside. It hurt, but something in his expression told me how much he was enjoying it.

“I want to have you everywhere,” he murmured.

Between the arousal and the alcohol, I lost all prudence.

“Anywhere you want,” I told him. “I want to feel all of you.”

He pushed me face down onto the bed. I felt the tip of his cock probing an entrance that was still virgin. Now and then he went back to my vagina and out again, and I felt the pressure building where I’d never given in. I thought he’d go slowly, carefully.

He didn’t. He spread my ass cheeks, kissed my back, gave me a soft slap, and pushed in all at once.

The pain went through my whole body. For a second I wanted to get away, but his arm held me down against the mattress. He stayed still, letting me breathe, and then started moving very slowly. It hurt like hell, though the alcohol had made me feel numb inside. When he noticed I wasn’t resisting anymore, he slid his hand between my body and the bed and touched me while he fucked me from behind.

It was long. It was the second time that night, and I knew it would take him a while to finish. At some point, amid all of it, the pain turned into something else. I started feeling pleasure with that new sensation of being completely filled by him. I watched his pace quicken, felt him swell, and when he came, he did it with a rough groan I still remember.

We lay back wrapped around each other and fell asleep like that, pressed together, his breath on the nape of my neck.

***

I woke up sore and teased him about it, laughing, the next morning. He only gave me one long kiss and pulled me into spooning from behind.

“You’re just too damn tasty,” he whispered in my ear. “I couldn’t help myself. Next time I’ll be more careful, I promise.”

I forgave him, of course. With Mateo I never knew how to say no. It was glorious waking up in his arms, feeling him searching for me slowly again, and letting myself go as if what we had had no expiration date.

This is only the beginning. There are many other nights I still haven’t dared to tell, but I carry them all etched into my body. If you want me to keep going, let me know in the comments. Kisses.