Masturbation

She wore only a long coat and high heels. Her only plan was to feel strangers’ eyes roaming over her body while she pretended to shop.

When I saw the man coming up the path, he squeezed my head harder. He wasn’t going to stop. And I didn’t want him to.

I’d spent months fantasizing about surrendering to someone who knew how to take control. I never imagined I’d find him on a Friday at a bar.

The night breeze, two lit joints, and the certainty that everyone was asleep. All that was left was for one of us to say aloud what we were both thinking.

Four glasses of wine in, Rodrigo started talking. What came out of his mouth that night changed the rules between them forever.

We’d been trading looks in that bar for four years. Her in her glasses, me not knowing what to do with everything I felt every time she served me.

We cooked dinner together between furtive kisses. Neither of us imagined how that movie night on the sofa would end when he discovered my secret habit.

He locked the door, sat at the desk, and looked at me with green eyes that didn’t judge a thing. I was still breathing hard.

When I leaned out the window to rest for a moment, I saw them in the pool. Naked, kissing, utterly oblivious to the world. I knew that year would be very different.

I pressed my forehead against the door so I wouldn’t make a sound. The children were asleep on the other side and I was melting under my husband’s hands, biting my lip.