Memories

For months I charged strangers, until a girl called to lose her virginity with me. That afternoon, I understood almost everything.

It wasn’t the first time I’d thought about crossing that hallway, but it was the first time my feet moved before my head did. The whole house was asleep and I wasn’t.

That night, while I was stroking him in bed, he stopped me and asked me to tell him what the other man was like. I never imagined my confession would change our bed.

I turned off the light, locked the door, and for the first time let myself fantasize without censorship. What I discovered that night changed the way I look in the mirror.

I only wanted something temporary while I finished high school. I never expected those late-night voices in a virtual world to teach me so much about desire.

The first was my physics teacher. The second was my French teacher. They both summoned me alone during their final days in Valencia, and I learned that goodbyes can be very different.

At eleven we turned off the movie. At midnight I curled up against his chest. At one he kissed me in a way he never should have. And I, a virgin, knew I was his.

When she let the sweater fall to the floor and took off her shoes in front of me, I knew that afternoon I wouldn’t leave my father-in-law’s house the same man.

When I saw them getting close at the bar, I knew the night wouldn’t end the way they imagined. I’d already touched both of them before they even brushed against each other.

The moment he turned eighteen, he went looking for the woman his father had torn from him. He never imagined that in a café that afternoon, she’d come with a different plan.

He came home from work exhausted, and when he saw the two lines in my hand, he didn’t let me finish the sentence. His mouth was on mine before I could react.

That night at the neighborhood fair I discovered something I shouldn’t have felt for my girlfriend’s younger sister, and the sight of her smile under the lights never let me sleep the same again.

My cousin had gone to the beach with her friends. When I rang the bell, my aunt opened the door wearing her apron and a smile I’d never seen before.

When the car wash brushes erased the world outside, my sister leaned over the seat, moved my hair from my forehead, and whispered something I could no longer ignore.

I’d been in a coma for a month when a warm hand slipped under the sheet in the dead of night. Only when I opened my eyes did I learn who had decided to wake me.

I’ve spent years thinking about that moment: Valeria in the empty classroom, her finger pointing at my crotch and that smile promising everything that never happened.

I had waited months for that Saturday. High heels, lace lingerie, the estate all to myself. No one was supposed to see me. Then Roberto from the estate across the way arrived.

She was telling him about her breakup when the couple below started kissing. They looked before they meant to. Then they couldn’t stop.

Camila arrived in a white linen dress and a smile I knew by heart. But that afternoon there was something different in her eyes, and we both knew it.

Diego looked at me that night and said it plainly: he wanted to see me with his best friend. I wasn’t scandalized. Curiosity won.