First Time

We went downstairs following moans and found them. That night I learned by watching what the next day I’d dare to try.

When I sat next to her in that workshop, I had no idea that the sad, discreet woman would end up whispering, naked in her bed, that she had never felt anything like it.

Mariana asked me whether I’d ever been curious about kissing another woman. I answered with an impulse that changed what we were forever.

All it took was for her to make an insinuating move for me to get on all fours. That night I discovered she had two surprises hidden away, and only one was for me.

I crossed the street convinced she wouldn’t recognize me. She smiled at me, and I knew that afternoon something was going to change forever between us.

I woke with my body burning and my hand between my legs. I never imagined my sister would open the door that morning… or what would happen next.

I’m 1.62 and he was 1.88. When he opened the door in shorts and I saw what he had between his legs, I thought about turning around. I didn’t.

When we turned off the lights and climbed under the same blanket, I never imagined that silly question about kisses would end with her fingers seeking mine in the dark.

I got off the bus with my head full of class and my body full of something else. Twenty minutes later I was in a stranger’s car, learning what I’d never dared to ask.

I lowered the zipper of his trousers very slowly, afraid of waking him. That morning changed forever what I understood pleasure to be.

It took only a fraction of a second —a towel slipping, her wet skin under the balcony light— to understand I’d never be able to look at her the same way again.

We invited him thinking he’d back out when he saw us in person. We didn’t count on that short guy, almost our age, taking control the moment he walked through the door.

I heard her in the shower that first morning and, for no reason I could name, I froze in the doorway. When she turned and looked at me, I didn’t look away.

We were coming back to the hotel at three in the morning, having gotten nowhere with the guys. What happened once we closed the door changed our friendship forever.

When she came through the salon door, I knew that session was going to break something inside me. And I wasn’t wrong.

When she rang the bell with two bottles of wine and that smile, I knew the unfinished conversation at the bar was finally going to end on my couch.

That woman looked me up and down, smiled, and said the line that would change my life: with a little makeup, I could pass for a real little girl.

I had never paid for sex, much less with a trans woman. But that dawn, with the car full of gas and my head full of lust, I took one turn too many.

I’d spent months watching her pass by in the back with another masseuse. That afternoon, just as the clock struck six-thirty, her name appeared on my schedule for the first time.

The rumor raced through the bakery like wildfire: Espiguita was back. And the only man who truly knew her felt the past crash down on him.