Desire

Llevaba semanas con una sola idea fija en la cabeza, y aquel domingo en las gradas del campo de rugby encontré por fin la manera de cumplirla.

He crouched to show me his bracelets, and his gaze dropped to my breasts. In that instant, I knew I wouldn’t leave that beach the same woman.

There are things a woman never tells anyone. This is the one I kept for years, the one that still makes me tremble when I pass that cinema.

When Carla asked if I wanted to do it again, I already knew my answer before she finished the sentence. What I didn’t know was how far I was willing to go that night.

I crossed my arms to hide what the theater’s cold had betrayed in me. Then he sat beside me without asking, as if the seat were his.

It started as a secret I whispered in his ear while he was fucking me. It ended with him sitting a meter away, watching another man make me lose my mind.

I advanced beside my sponsor, not behind her like the other cases. I was the highest-rated, and that night they all wanted to buy me.

I shaved, put on the wig and heels, and talked to the camera as if someone might really show up. One night, someone did.

That first night beneath the streetlamp, with the cold cutting my face, I realized my androgyny could be a weapon. I only had to hold out until I had the body I’d always wanted.

I crossed the empty campus with my lab coat against my naked skin and my heart racing. Adrián was waiting inside, and we both knew we wouldn't be sleeping that night.

The next morning, Marta looked at me over her coffee with a smile that wasn’t innocent. She’d used my laptop. She knew everything, and I had nowhere to hide.

When the old man said, “Come for fifteen days and don’t ask questions,” I should have refused. Instead, I grabbed my bag and climbed into his truck.

I was curious and a little disgusted, but she kept insisting until I heard myself say yes. What happened that afternoon at her house still makes me smile.

I was distracted by my phone when I felt his hands on my ribs. That night in the courtyard, nothing innocent was left between us.

He’s always so serious in front of everyone else. No one imagines that one look from him is enough to make me lower my gaze, approach, and kneel without being asked.

I knew he’d come looking for me sooner or later. I just had to wait beneath the streetlamp and let his guilt do the rest of the work for me.

It was raining, his place was empty, and I had a surprise waiting. I’d never done it before, but that afternoon I decided it was time to find out what desire tasted like.

There are confessions that get stuck in your throat. This is one of them, and I’m telling it exactly as it happened: shamelessly, uncensored, and with a huge smile.

When she opened the hidden folder on her phone and turned the screen toward me, I realized the shy girl had finally dared to tell it all.

I’m not looking for love or promises. That afternoon I saw him cross the square and knew exactly what I wanted to ask, though I’d never dared go that far before.